The Now
by thedreamsingray
Summary: Time won't wait forever, but it does leave room for change. And after destroying the world together, only to bring it back from the ashes, you would think it would have been a bonding experience. Raven/Slade. Post-Tokyo. Complete.
1. Chapter 1: The Now

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Here's some information up-front - when I was in the second grade, a show called Teen Titans came onto Cartoon Network. It was adored and loved by all the elementary school children (including yours truly), and a short while later, was canceled after a few seasons.**

**The little second grader has grown up since then, but for one reason or another, she was pulled back into the charismatic world of our favorite teen heroes. She's learned an awful lot about the world since the first time she sat down with her cousins and watched our five heroes bravely defend Jump City, yet the highlights of the series remain the same.**

**Let's get some things straight.**

**Raven is my favorite character. I identified so much with her as a child; now, even more so as a young adult.**

**Slade is my favorite villain. From the first time my tender second-grade self saw his cartoon form kicking Terra's ass, I fell in love with him.**

**"Birthmark" is my favorite episode. Three guesses why.**

**Do I think Slade is a manipulative, cruel, and selfish bastard? Absolutely.**

**Do I think that Raven is a well-meaning, inherently good character, who deserves the best? Of course.**

**I'm neither rewarding nor punishing either of the characters. This is just a pairing that, personally, is a lot more appealing to me (and quite frankly, more realistic) than some of the others.**

**People can think whatever they want to about this couple. You're entitled to your opinion. However, please be mindful if you do choose to review. We're all writers here. I'm completely open to constructive criticism, it's just the ****_unnecessary_****hate that simply seems unkind. Please and thank you.**

**This is my first time writing fanfiction. I've always considered reading it a guilty (albeit embarrassing) pleasure. I am a published writer out in the real world. But this is something I've always wanted to try.**

**On a final note, I'm not usually this serious. In real life, I'm an incredibly strange, pale girl who has pictures of ****_The Rocky Horror Picture Show_**** taped beside her bed, and in spite of nearly six years in Spanish courses, cannot hold even the most mediocre of conversations in said language.**

_"I need you, the reader, to imagine us, for we don't really exist if you don't." _

_― __Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita_

_Robin: This is your story, Raven. And I'm not sure what happens next. I know it seems hopeless. But I believe when the time is right, you will know what to do._

_- The End, Part III_

_Chapter One: The Now_

_What now?_

Two words, oh-so-casually strung together by the hand of Fate, spoken by no one, yet hanging over all.

_Japan._

Brushogun. Victory. Starfire and Robin together at last. Food. Laughter. Celebration. The end.

_What now?_

All of their previous foes – Doctor Light, Madame Rouge, Killer Moth – frozen forever in the Brain's old lair. If he could still think in his cryogenic prison, you could bet the Brain would consider his defeat ironic.

_Home._

Jump City. It was nice to be back. After all, Titan's Tower had prime real estate. For a gang of unsupervised minors, they really had it made.

_What now?_

Starfire and Robin, kissing each other on the mouth. Beast Boy back to his video games. Cyborg and the T-Car. Titans East returning home. Jinx and Kid Flash, also riding on the fever of young love.

Raven.

_What now?_

Trigon was gone, never to touch her or her world again. Azarath was being rebuilt from the ashes. Her mother, Arella, spoke to Raven more often, seeing as her demonic husband was no longer a threat to her daughter's life. A Japanese gum endorsement, which (to her dismay) gave Beast Boy a plethora of opportunities for donkey-related jokes.

_What now?_

Petty criminals began to emerge. Thieves. Bank robberies. Hostage situations. Eventually, new monsters and villains begin to show as well. The Teen Titans could only do so much about the crime rate, after all. But they would always be on patrol. They'd never stop 'till the job gets done.

_What now?_

Raven liked to consider herself a realist. Reason informed her that the events that had transpired thus far was nothing more than the sequence of a timeline; nothing special or mystical about it. She'd had enough of prophecy after the whole "end of the world" mess.

But in the midst of victory, love, and new beginnings, Raven found herself asking that infuriatingly illogical, entirely ambiguous, unnecessary question: _what now?_

For Robin and Starfire, a relationship. For Beast Boy, closure with Terra and continuing to be the little green thorn in everyone's side. For Cyborg, returning to the comforts of life in the Tower, and maintaining the group's faithful role as team mechanic.

_What now?_

_What now_ for Raven? Where was she to go from here?

Her character arc was intended to be completed when she'd served her role as the Gem. Not in a million years had Raven imagined her rebirth – or more importantly, Trigon's defeat.

She certainly wasn't _ungrateful_ that her friends had saved her. As much as she was reluctant to admit it, Raven couldn't live on without her loud, spunky little circle of heroes. Yes, she supposed she would even miss that little green thorn if the world had remained in flames and stone. Raven had learned to enjoy life, in all its nuances and pointless moments. Hell, she'd even babysat three super-powered _children_ without destroying them all. In fact, Raven had grown to care for the kids. They were _her_ kids, damn it.

_What now?_

Something bothered Raven. It lingered in the back of her mind, festering somewhere out of reach. Rage often mocked Raven for her incompetence on the matter.

_"__You're weaker than ever,"_ Rage seethed whenever she got the chance – which happened more often than Raven was comfortable with. _"You're a mistake, a pathetic excuse for a hero. Doubt clouds your every thought. While your friends bask in happiness, you drag them down, like you always do."_

Not too long ago, immediately after Trigon's downfall, it had been fairly easy to silence Rage's poisonous comments. With a growing sense of panic, Raven was finding it more and more difficult to keep Rage quiet.

_What now?_

She kept fighting monsters and villains. She kept meditating. She kept being a part of the Titans.

And yet, that strange, horrible sensation refused to fade, refused to leave her, not even as she fell asleep. Raven feared it was a warning, a premonition of something dark to come. The worst part about it was that she had absolutely no idea what it could be.

What now, indeed.


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or the franchises mentioned in the work.**

**a/n: I've never read the Teen Titans comic books, but I do know about Deathstroke - . Slade, our favorite bastard. I've decided to adopt his physical appearance and some of his canon history into my story, since the Slade from the television show had so little. Not to mention that I could _definitely _see Ron Perlman's voice come out of comic-book Slade. Look him up.**

**Let me know if the characters come across OCC to you. I did my best to keep them as faithful to their T.V. counterparts, but if you notice anything I did not, feel free to comment on it.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated.**

_"I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo." _  
><em>- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar<em>

_Robin: Slade! I don't know where you've been, but you shouldn't have come back. I'm still ready._

_Slade: That's precious, Robin. But, I didn't come back for you._

_- Birthmark_

_Chapter Two: The Beginning_

Starfire and Robin behaving like an official couple was like seeing atoms - no one doubted an atom's existence, and the very idea of an atom had been theorized long before it was confirmed, but if the human eye became aware of protons and electron clouds and nuclei all around, the public reaction was bound to be an odd one.

Such was Raven's train of thought as she sipped a cup of tea from the Titan's kitchen, eyeing the two lovers sprawled out on the team's black sofa. Never in a million years had Raven imagined Robin to be the type of boyfriend that openly displayed affection; yet somehow, Starfire had managed to convert their fearless team leader into a hand-holding, door-opening, purse-carrying gentleman within the span of only a few weeks.

Of course, Beast Boy and Cyborg would persistently pester the Boy Wonder about the dynamics of their relationship, always leaving Robin flustered and spluttering that _no,_ it was _him_ who wore the pants, and _yes_, he still had his man card.

_Man card._ Raven's gaze rolled to the ceiling. No real man needed a card to prove his masculinity. At least, no man _she _would ever date.

"_Raven!_"

Alarmed, Raven twisted her head to answer Cyborg's dramatic cry. Perhaps he'd caught her staring at their lovesick teammates - God, may have he not caught her staring. One could only imagine the implications that could be - and _would be_ - drawn._  
><em>

But Cyborg made no indication of noticing Raven's behavior. In fact, he appeared to be absorbed in some sort of card-stacking game with Beast Boy; Raven heard the periodic _zip!_ of his robotic eye, focusing in and out on a trembling tower of playing cards.

"What?"

The half-robot squinted at a particularly crooked Queen of Spades in the structure. "Could you get me a some water? I'm kinda tied up right now."

"Something wrong with your legs?"

"Ah, c'mon, Rae," Beast Boy chided the cards, gingerly adding one to another layer of the little building. "Why do'ya gotta be so moody? The making of Titans Tower the Second is a matter of _life_ or _death_."

"No, it's not."

Cyborg managed to tear himself away from the game to throw a pleading glance at his friend. "Please, Rae? If we can get this to reach the ceiling, B.B.'s gotta do dishes for the rest of the year."

Raven sighed, unable to think of a good enough reason to be rude. Besides, the promise of Beast Boy having dish duty for the next twelve months was almost enough incentive for Raven to join in _herself _and stack the cards to the moon. Levitating a water bottle from the fridge, Raven tried being as gentle as possible when setting the bottle down within Cyborg's reach.

However, her caution was to little avail - the soft _thump_ garnered a startled yelp from Beast Boy, who promptly flailed his arms and knocked over the card tower just as Cyborg had added the finishing piece to another level.

"_Awh, man!_" Cyborg wailed, thirst forgotten as he wept forlornly over the scattered deck. Beast Boy, realizing he was at fault, quickly morphed into a green snake and began to slither away. His escape was short-lived, however, because Cyborg promptly snatched the reptile from the ground and began to holler a stream of insults at his wriggling form.

_Well, there goes that dream,_ Raven thought dryly. She knew it had been too good to be true.

Inadvertently, Raven glanced back to Robin and Starfire. As predicted, the Boy Wonder and the alien girl took their companion's distraction as an opportunity to kiss one another, with maybe a few more risqué maneuvers that Raven would have preferred _not_ to witness.

She surveyed the chaos in the Titan's living room, feeling slightly resigned. It was times like these when Raven really had to stretch her memory to recall exactly _why_ it was she lived her, instead of anywhere else where she did not have four hormonal teenagers for roommates.

Today, the market was a safe zone. Any other day, Raven would have picked a bookstore, her favorite café, or even her room in order for some time away from the Titans (all of whom, Raven hastily reminded herself, she loved very dearly).

But today was today, and Raven felt compelled to walk into Jump City's only Ralph's and roam the aisles, inspecting apples for bruises or deciding which rotisserie chicken looked the most appetizing beneath the glare of a heat lamp. Titan's tower could always use more food, anyway; God forbid if Raven had to choke down another T.V. dinner because everything in their fridge had turned blue. After all, couldn't go out for pizza _all_ the time.

So there Raven was, staring down boxes of cereal and deciding whether or not she should purchase the in-store alternative or brand-name kind, when she felt something familiar.

Raven didn't _hear_ something familiar, nor did she _see_ something familiar - she _felt_ something familiar. Like a color in the air, or smelling a flavor, Raven sensed something she had encountered many a time before. Her head spun with possibilities, but as each one seemed more and more unlikely, confusion took its place. Raven was not a particularly popular person, so the chance the presence would be friendly was slim to none.

That unease, that strange sense of foreboding which had made a quiet home in Raven's mind, suddenly sprang to life. The sensation raced through her entire body, stiffening everything in its path.

_What now?_

Raven grimaced, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head.

Carefully, she set her grocery basket down on the yellowing linoleum and began to creep around the corner of the candy aisle. Raven desperately hoped no villain was trying to take over the world in the middle of a supermarket. The Ralph's was filled with diligent mothers pushing bouncing babies in their kiddie carts, elderly folk picking out pastries from the bakery, and other innocent civilians. Raven planned on taking down whatever malignant presence with the least amount of damage, so she could get back to wondering exactly _what_ part of "what now" she wanted answered.

The feeling, the intuition, the sixth sense - whatever Raven was willing to call it - grew magnified as she approached the back corner of the store, towards the meat department.

_Great,_ Raven groaned inwardly, w_e're going to have a killer butcher on our hands._

_It's a change in pace,_ Intelligence replied wisely.

_Yay, something new, Raven! It's so exciting!_ Happy giggled.

_How is a killer butcher something good?_ Timid mumbled to Happy's prancing pink figure.

_Forget I said anything,_ Raven said tiredly to her personalities, silencing them.

By now, the presence was so overwhelming, Raven swore she could see a faint trail of a burnt-orange aura, curling away from it's source. Hiding behind a wine rack, Raven poked her face around the bend to see exactly who she was up against.

A man stood in front of a case filled with cuts of red meat. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with white hair framing his face and lining his jaw. Raven couldn't make much of the rest of his face, as her hiding place only allotted for a profile view, but it didn't matter - Raven had no idea who the man was.

Bemusement rattled her nerves. Raven was positive she had never seen this man in her life, neither did he resemble anyone she knew. She rubbed her eyes and attempted to sweep her mind of any distractions. It was possible she just needed some meditation.

"Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos," she muttered.

At her words, the man looked up, making eye contact with Raven, and revealing an eye patch secured to the other half of his face.

Recognition clicked between the two of them. Raven nearly had a heart attack, right there, in the middle of the supermarket.

"_Slade?!_"

Fortunately for her, the man - _Slade,_ in all his unmasked glory - seemed just as taken aback. He was still, one hand gripping the plastic-covered handle of his shopping cart, the other clutching a pack of diced red meat.

Now, on various occasions, Raven had envisioned what her next meeting with the Titan's arch-nemesis would entail. Her fantasies generally involved some gear-filled lair, witty dialogue between the Boy Wonder and said villain, and if she was feeling particularly sadistic, a few well-placed kicks in the groin for ruining her last birthday.

Beast Boy claimed a robotic double of Slade had harassed him when he'd met the Terra look-alike, but for the most part, the Titans hadn't encountered the man who'd managed to make each of their lives a living hell for years. Occasionally, Robin would go off a tangent about how Slade was still out there, no doubt threatening thousands of lives and killing puppies for fun while he plotted something nefarious for his favorite group of teen heroes.

But with the Brotherhood of Evil and subsequent problems, such episodes became less and less frequent, much to the collective relief of the Titans. Privately, Raven had halfheartedly hoped Slade would cause trouble in some other, far away city. The entire Trigon fiasco put Raven's view of Slade in a strange spot: while he'd chased, burned, and generally caused more misery for her during the end of the world, it had been Slade who led Robin to her weak, childlike form, Slade who helped bring down her father. Granted, the latter was entirely due to selfish reasons (Raven could barely stand the thought of Slade as a person, much less a walking, talking _skeleton_), but it had been aid all the same. And God knew they'd needed help then.

Still, it didn't excuse his crimes, nor did it lessen her hatred for him.

So to say it was a complete and utter nightmare that Raven was facing an unarmed, unmasked, civilian Slade alone in between the frozen pulled pork and a case of on-clearance chicken was an understatement.

However, Slade appeared to have recovered faster than she did, and gave her a smirk.

"It's been a long time, Raven."

_That voice_. The voice that had slipped through slits of a two-toned masked, haunted Robin's dreams, and recited her fate as a catalyst to the apocalypse, now fell from the lips of a forty-something year-old man pushing a grocery cart with a bag of potatoes in it. Raven didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry hysterically - either way, her reaction was not going to be pretty. Thank God she seemed to have been rendered mute from the shock of it all.

A thick, white eyebrow raised above the eye patch.

"My, my, Raven. Whatever happened to that sharp tongue of yours? It hasn't been _that_ long."

"It's been long _enough!_" Raven spat, regaining her composure and assuming a defensive stance. Rage blazed her way through Raven's psyche, cackling madly at her newfound freedom and tinting everything in her host's vision a deep red.

Slade considered this, a meaningful expression donning his features. Yet his good eye, the eye Raven knew him by, glittered with promises of darkness.

_What now?_

"I suppose it has been some time since your father's downfall." Slade conceded, elbow bent and palm up in a gesture of agreement. Raven couldn't shake how peculiar it was to see such familiar nuances, now portrayed by a stranger.

Well, _almost_ a stranger.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Raven demanded angrily. Again, a look of incredulity donned his features.

"In spite of what you and your friends like to believe, I _am_ human."

"But I've never sensed you here before!"

"I had a butler to do the more..._mundane_ chores before."

"What happened to him?"

"He died." Slade's tone was simple. Ice crept into Raven's veins, stinging her bones.

_"What are you waiting for?"_ Brave popped out of the haze in Raven's mind, gun-ho as ever. _"This is mother-freaking _Slade!_ Show that creep how much you've learned since he felt you up on -"_

_"Quiet!"_ Raven mentally hissed at her green-cloaked doppelgänger.

_"Go for the groin,"_ Rage chimed in pleasantly. _"He's not wearing armor. It's bound to hurt more."_

A grimace twisted Raven's mouth. This was not the first time her emotional counterparts interfered with her actions; more than once, Raven had contemplated lobotomization to rid herself of their presence. Needless to say, they were all vehemently averse to the idea, and luckily for them, Raven wasn't so keen on having her brain poked at.

But now, Raven deeply regretted not following through on her threat. Her head was beginning to pulse with early indications of a migraine, which would definitely make it difficult to speak with Slade, much less engage in combat. Raven knew that if she pulled out her communicator and called for backup, it would only provoke him into battle. He didn't care about civilian casualties. Perhaps she could grab him and phase into the wall, but if she missed or Slade darted out-of-the-way, it was another opportunity for a fight. To her dismay, stalling the man was the most reasonable decision Raven was left with, until some deity took pity on her and gave Slade an aneurism, or had him spontaneously combust into flames.

But what could she say?

Actually, Raven wasn't deterred so much by what she _could_ say as opposed to what to say _first._ Like, _where have you been? Where did you go after Trigon's banishment? Why didn't you fight with the Brotherhood of Evil? Did you erase Terra's memory? Where are you hiding? What are you planning? And why, oh why, are you unmasked in a civilian area, shopping for steaks when you could be using this time more efficiently as, I don't know, _Slade?

For the first time in a _long_ time, Raven had nothing to say - not because she did not want to speak, or that she simply didn't have anything to add to the conversation, but because she was struggling to decide on which topic of conversation she wanted handled.

So there the two enemies stood, immobile, surrounded by perishable goods and the occasional beep of a distant checkout counter.

_What now?_

Slade's single eye bore into her, not blinking, waiting. Seeming to realize his opponent was struck speechless, he tilted his head and inquired, "Do tell: exactly how did you manage to find me?"

"Aside from the obvious?" Raven countered, glaring at the offensive eye patch.

"Yes, my dear. Plenty of people have lost eyes."

_Lost eyes._ Slade made it sound like his eyeball had been misplaced. How silly of him. Raven was willing to bet everything she owned that his damaged eye had been the result of some nasty combat, or a business exchange gone wrong. Most humans tended to retain both eyes if they led a relatively healthy, crime-free lifestyle.

Sticking her chin out, Raven replied cooly, "I sensed your presence. I followed it."

Slade nodded, like he understood, which only served to irritate Raven further. Of course he knew. He'd worked for her _father,_ God damn it. Who knew what Trigon had divulged about her to his pet skeleton? This thought awakened an old fear, one that held memories of flaming hands and frozen faces and a burning touch, ripping away her clothes and gripping her shoulders as they overlooked a vision of despair, _together_ -

"How's my favorite team of heroes?" Slade drawled, snapping Raven back to the present. He'd taken to leaning against the cart, clearly more at ease than she was. The package of diced meat had been placed neatly on top of the potato sack; vaguely, Raven was reminded of the card game Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing this morning, and didn't think that Slade's grocery arrangement was the most stable of structures.

_It was probably the way he liked it,_ she thought wryly. _Unstable. Just like his brain._

"Better, since you've been gone. What have you been doing? What did you do to Terra? What - "

"Perhaps it hasn't been that long, after all," Slade mused, looking far too smug. "You've seemed to regress, my dear. I've always considered patience to be one of your strong suits. I think you're beginning to take after Robin."

_Robin._

Oh hell. What would the Boy Wonder do when he found out Slade was back on the prowl, running around willy-nilly at their favorite grocery store, without a _mask_ to boot? Robin would probably crap his pants with excitement, that's what. The chance to finally capture and imprison his arch-nemesis, once and for all. Raven could already picture all the coffee he would drink just to stay up and fester about the man who'd blackmailed him into an apprenticeship.

Something about this image did not sit well with Raven.

"I'll take that as a compliment," she retorted evenly, scanning the area for something to levitate. Maybe, if she had an object approach quietly enough, Raven could knock him out from behind, and -

"If you're not going to fight me, Raven, would you please be so kind as to move out of my way?"

Slade's face was blank, but the boredom was evident in his tone. Rage screeched in fury.

"I don't _think_ so!" Raven snapped, clenching her fists. Dark energy engulfed each hand, pulsating with her heartbeat. "You're a wanted, criminal, Slade. I'm taking you to jail!"

"Really?" A smirk quirked his lips. "After all we've been through?"

_It's just you and me now, kid._

"I don't owe you anything!"

But that was a lie. Sickeningly enough, Raven _did_ feel obligated to Slade by some twisted moral dilemma. On one hand, stripping her of her dignity and helping bring forth the apocalypse. On the other hand, saving her from the lava-filled underbelly of the Earth and joining in the final battle against her father. What to do, what to do.

_What now?_

As if reading her thoughts, Slade said, "My dear, I think you do. Have I done anything to harm the Titans within the past year?"

_No._ The answer, unspoken and unseen, floated between them.

Raven grit her teeth. "It doesn't excuse your past crimes."

"I never said it did."

God, did he _always_ have to be such a smart-ass?

Still...

At that moment, Raven hated everything. She hated her mother for falling for her father, cursing Raven to be the Gem; she hated the Titans for taking her in and making her develop attachments to them all; she hated Slade, for being the manipulative bastard that he was; she hated God for not utilizing divine intervention to save her ass; most of all, she hated herself for walking into this goddamn Ralph's in the first place.

Suddenly, a vision of Robin, tired yet angry, and Starfire, miserable and neglected, danced before Raven's eyes. Beast Boy, agitated once more about Terra. Cyborg, working tirelessly to make sure everyone retained their sanity.

_"Always dragging your friends down,"_ Rage whispered darkly. _"Always making them unhappy."_

_No._

Raven would _not_ do this to her friends. Not when everything just seemed to be going in the right direction. If she owed anyone anything, it was the Titans. They were her family; their happiness would come first.

"I'm going to make you a deal."

If Slade was intrigued by Raven's proposition, he did not show it. Rather, he cracked his knuckles in response, giving the girl a withering look.

But Raven was undeterred. "You're going to give me your address. I'm going to check in on you every day, and I'm going to _make sure_ you're not planning something against the Titans."

Slade said nothing, but Raven swore his good eye started to twitch.

"And this is just between you and me," Raven added for good measure, sticking a finger in his direction. "I won't tell the Titans, and you won't tell anyone else about _this_. If you try to double-cross me, or hurt my friends in _any_ way, I will _personally_ make sure you rot in Jump City's worst prison. Don't think I won't tell every officer, reporter, civilian and child _exactly_ what you _really_ look like!"

Intelligence was impressed with Raven's quick thinking. Rage basked in the anger behind her threats.

Slade was obviously unamused. Arms folded over his broad chest, Slade took quite some time before answering.

"And, I suppose, the bargain entails that I will remain out of prison, should I comply with your terms?"

Breathlessly, Raven nodded. Somewhere behind them, the wheels of a shopping cart squeaked by._  
><em>

Slade's annoyance lifted from his face, and for a second, all Raven saw was a tired, world-weary man. She felt no sympathy.

_What now?_

"Fine. I live on Washington Street, sixteen-seventeen. Knock."

Wait.

Raven blinked. Did her attempt at blackmail actually _work?_ Her head swam with relief.

Without waiting for her answer, Slade abandoned his cart and walked right past Raven, fists clenched by his side.

In a rare moment of indecision, Raven blurted to his retreating figure, "This doesn't change anything!"

Slade did not even pause when he answered.

"I wouldn't expect anything less."


	3. Chapter 3: The First

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: I'm happy you guys like the story so far, it's been really interesting for me to write. Again, just a quick reminder that I am adopting some of the DC Deathstroke history for Slade's character. You can find it all online if you're not familiar with it.**

**Also, I'll try to update as fast as possible, but I do have school, work, and other things in general. So if I don't update right away, please be patient. I'm not abandoning the story.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated.**

_"People disappeared, reappeared, made plans to go somewhere, and then lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away."_

_- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby_

_Slade: Trust is easy to destroy, yet, takes time to build._

_- Masks_

_Chapter Three: The First_

When Raven re-entered the Titan's tower, she had half a mind to teleport back to her room, rather than face her companions. In spite of her intentions, the slightest bit of guilt poked and prodded at Raven's conscience.

_Don't be ridiculous, _she chided herself. _As an enforcer of the law, I'm making an educated choice that I believe will benefit everyone in the long run. Besides, Jinx got an exemption for her past crimes. This is...close enough._

Somehow, it didn't seem the same.

"Hey, Raven," Robin said from the kitchen, smiling as he opened a soda can. "Where've you been?"

"Out." Raven managed in her usual, indifferent monotone. "I'm going to my room."

Beast Boy, playing a spaceship-oriented video game with Cyborg (who, Raven assumed, had forgiven Beast Boy for the card mishap this morning), stuck his head over the couch.

"I thought you said you were going to the market! I've been starving over here!"

Damn it.

Raven flushed, glaring at the little green changeling. "Well, I _didn't._ Stand up and get something from the fridge."

And with that, Raven made her escape, only half-listening to Beast Boy's cries of: "But everything's _blue!_"

.

_You know, Robin's going to kill you when he finds out,_ Timid said sadly, peeking out from behind a floating gray boulder.

"Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos." Raven replied.

_Oh, who cares?_ Lazy yawned, picking aimlessly at her orange cloak. _Raven, this whole Slade thing better not mess up our sleep schedule. Count me out if you ever plan on "checking in" before seven in the morning. _

"Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos." Raven answered.

_Ha-ha, that's funny!_ Happy nudged Lazy playfully. _You know, if Raven keeps popping up in and out at weird times of the day, people are going to think she's a -_

"Azarath, Mentrion, _Zinthos._" Raven cut Happy off through clenched teeth.

_Timid is right,_ Intelligence pointed out, adjusting her glasses. _When Robin finds out that you're helping Slade stay out of jail, he's never going to trust you again. He'll probably kick you off the team._

"Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos."

_He can't do that!_ Timid protested weakly, then paused, reconsidering. _Can he?_

"Azarath, Mentrion - "

_Duh! But so what? I still say we keep tabs on that sick-o._ Brave rolled her eyes at Timid, who'd chosen the edge of a gateway to hide behind after her boulder had drifted away.

_"That's it,"_ Raven fumed at her emotional counterparts. _"If you guys keep talking while I'm trying to meditate, I'm going to throw you all in the maze and create a _new_ statue to chase after you."_

For a moment, this threat seemed to have worked. Raven's mind was silent, and filled only with the image of a star-speckled sky and a landscape of gray mineral.

Then -

_Why would you do that? We already know the way through the maze._ Intelligence's expression was incredulous.

_Bring it on!_ Brave added excitedly. _Eight-Eyes was a piece of cake. Give me a challenge!_

_Ugh, do we have to?_ Lazy whined. _I don't feel like doing anything right now. Can you punish us tomorrow?_

Raven opened her eyes, shattering the visualization of her mind and returning to the dimly lit space of her bedroom. Disgruntled, she unwound her legs from a meditative pose and flopped back on to her bed.

Meditation was primarily used to keep the intensity of her powers - i.e. Rage - under control. Her entire upbringing had been founded on the principle of emotional suppression; most of the time, meditating helped maintain Rage's unfortunate tendency to lash out during times of duress.

However, that didn't stop other parts of Raven's psyche from running rampant while she tried to soothe her personal demon. Occasionally, they chose to take Raven's time to herself as an opportunity to converse about current issues, especially when said issues were bothering her more than the norm.

"My head is not a morning talk show," Raven vented to the ceiling. "Can't I just have some peace and quiet?!"

As if on cue, a series of knocks emanated from the door. "Friend Raven? Are you there?"

Raven flinched. What she would give for ten bottles of aspirin. Raven would keep popping pills until the headache went away, even if it meant eventual hospitalization. She was flexible.

Another couple of _bangs_ from the door, this time louder than the first few. "Raven?"

It took everything she had for Raven to drag herself from the comfort of her mattress to the door. If it had been Beast Boy, or maybe even Cyborg, she would have just ignored the knocking until they went away. But Raven genuinely cared for the alien girl's feelings, and knew that if she did not answer, Starfire would draw the wrong conclusion.

The few inches Raven allowed the door to open was nearly engulfed by a wide, green eye.

"Hello, friend Raven," Starfire chirped pleasantly. "How are you this glorious afternoon?"

"Fine. Is there something you need?"

"Oh, well, I was wondering if you would like to do the 'girl's night out' with me later today?

Raven could only stare blankly at the redheaded alien. Starfire, clearly noticing Raven's reaction, rushed to explain herself.

"It's just that, I have been spending so much time with Robin, and I miss your company, and I have heard that a _girl's night_ is most enjoyable, and we could - "

"I'm busy tonight."

It wasn't a lie. Raven had wanted to leave for Slade's home around six o'clock, and she planned to do a through inspection of every nook and cranny of the place. Not to mention that if she arrived too late, Slade could be asleep, and Raven would have to wake him up if she had any questions. A six o'clock Slade was bound to be more compliant than a middle-of-the-night one.

_Not to mention,_ Raven thought grimly. _If I have to wake him up, I'll catch him in pajamas._

A vision of the armored, masked Slade she knew so well, suddenly stuffed in a onesie embroidered with ducks, popped into her train of thought.

Passion, who was usually not as vocal as the other emotions, snickered beneath her purple hood. _Who said anything about pajamas? What if Slade sleeps in the nu - _

"Oh." A disappointed frown bent Starfire's mouth. "I did not know you had other arrangements. Perhaps some other time."

She began to walk away dejectedly. Raven looked up at the ceiling, resigned.

"Star...fire?"

The alien girl whipped back around, hope radiating from her entire figure. "Yes, Raven?"

"Um...maybe we could go out...tomorrow...night?" Raven didn't even bother trying to keep the unhappiness from her tone.

The world went dark for a couple of seconds as Raven had every particle of oxygen squeezed out of her body.

"Oh, Raven, thank you, I am _most_ excited!" Starfire squealed, and, if possible, hugged Raven even tighter.

Since the apocalypse, Raven had learned to appreciate all the idiosyncrasies of the four people she cared most about in the world. They had - quite literally - gone through Hell and back to save her. Raven would spend the rest of her life proving exactly how much she cared about them.

And if that meant enduring a night of clubbing and romantic comedies with an over-enthusiastic alien, so be it.

.

It took some time before Raven was able to find Slade's house, not because she got lost or merely missed the residence, but because she couldn't believe the enormous piece of property was _his._ She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting the living quarters of Jump City's number one criminal to look like - maybe a dingy shack in the middle of nowhere, or an underground sewer with alligators to guard it - but it most certainly wasn't this.

The mansion was on the waterfront, part of one of the few strips of neighborhood in Jump City that constituted as a "wealthy" area. Most people lived in apartments or in the suburbs just beyond the city limit, but this block of homes was gated (Raven simply flew over it), and overlooked the bay where the Titan's island resided. Raven was slightly uncomfortable with this new information - Slade could probably see the tower from his backyard.

In the pink-and-yellow flare of the setting sun, Raven could make out the mansion's coloring as a sandy beige, while the roof was a much darker shade of brown. There was a black van parked in the driveway; Raven stared hard at the license plate, trying to imprint the digits in her memory. Palm trees sprouted from the front lawn, and there was no sign of neglect anywhere on the property. The windows were all dark, unwelcoming, and Raven was wary of what awaited her inside.

_What now?_

She took a deep breath before striding up the steps and rapping on the large, cherrywood door. A burst of laughter rang out from behind her; Raven glanced back, only to see the backs of two blonde children zipping away on bicycles.

The door clicked open, swinging a few inches to admit her. Tense, Raven walked into the darkness, on guard for any surprise attacks.

"Slade?" Raven called into the dark. Aside from the tile of the foyer and what appeared to be the outline of a sofa, she saw no sign of life.

The door slammed shut. Raven practically flew back around, startled.

There he was, fully armored, arms folded, cloaked in shadow. Memories of battles and pain and frustration all flooded back to Raven - _this_ man was her adversary, the Titan's number one enemy, the reason they fought for justice.

"Raven," he greeted her cooly.

"Let's get this over with."

"I couldn't agree more."

And with that, he clasped his hands behind his back and strode away, leaving Raven by the door. She scowled at his backside, but followed all the same.

The rest of the house was just a poorly lit as the foyer had been. Raven could make out the shape of a chandelier and a winding staircase, yet Slade seemed to have no desire to illuminate the space. She supposed she couldn't protest at the lack of light, for her own room was just as dim, if not equally dark.

Slade led her to (what Raven thought was) a living room. A plain armchair sat in the middle of the room, facing a flat-screen television. Raven could hear the hum of a fridge somewhere to her left, where she supposed the kitchen was. Otherwise, the room seemed extremely plain - there were no photographs, paintings, or anything to indicate Slade's personal interests.

"If you break anything," Slade warned testily, sitting in the armchair like a king would a throne, "our deal's off."

Raven folded her arms. "How do I know you're not just going to hide all your weapons and plans when I come to check on you?"

Slade's eye roved towards her. "You won't. I guess you're going to have to trust me."

Raven was unamused. "Weren't _you_ the one who told Robin that 'trust takes time to build'?"

The eye didn't blink. "My dear, I think we've had _more _than enough time together. Wouldn't you agree?"

_Tick-tock, Raven. Time's running out._

"Then why do you have your suit on? I know what you look like now." Raven reminded him pointedly, unafraid to flex the tiny bit of leverage she had.

"Child, I suggest you utilize your time in my home wisely. The Titans might begin to wonder where you are if you insist on interrogating me." She could hear the smirk in Slade's voice.

_The Titans._ Did Slade know the reason _why_ Raven had been so eager to keep him out of their lives? She certainly hoped not; Slade would take anything he could use as an advantage against her. He was cunning, intelligent - everything that made him a good villain.

With a grimace, Raven turned from Slade and began her search. She went from room to room, seeking equipment, surveillance footage, or anything else that could pertain to the Titan's downfall. To her surprise, most rooms were vacant and dusty, save for a bathroom and an at-home gym. Raven lifted every chair and checked every cabinet, even feeling the walls for a secret compartment, but her investigation coming up bizarrely empty-handed.

Raven drifted up the staircase and onto the second floor, which proved to be just as uneventful as the first one. She did see a workshop in one of the rooms, filled with bits and pieces of machinery. A Slade-bot, torn in half at the waist, sat limply in one corner; Raven narrowed her eyes, daring it to move. But otherwise, there were no missiles or seismic generators lying around, and Raven supposed the room was clean enough.

When she reached Slade's bedroom, it was Brave who had to encourage her to enter.

_C'mon, girl! It's just a room with a bed. No biggie,_ Brave consoled her with a thumb's up.

_"Of course it's not a big deal,"_ Raven muttered back. But the words helped all the same, and Raven stepped foot into the bedroom.

Once, after watching far too many late-night television specials, Beast Boy had adamantly made the case that Slade was a vampire. This theory was entirely based on the idea that Slade always seemed to keep himself (literally) in the dark, was comfortable with having bats in his lair, and always on the lookout for some healthy, juicy human to brainwash. Like always, Beast Boy's hypothesis was shot down by pure _reason_, but Raven considered the possibility of Slade sleeping in a coffin to be more probable than anything else.

Upon seeing the king-sized bed smack-dab in the middle of the room, she was mildly disappointed with the turn of events.

_At least his boxers aren't everywhere,_ Timid sighed with relief.

_What's wrong with that? _demanded Lazy.

_Yeah, what's wrong with that?_ Passion agreed, though with extremely different intentions than the orange-cloaked emotion.

_"I hate all of you,"_ Raven groaned, gingerly picking up the comforter for inspection.

Like all the others, this room held no trace of a life outside crime. There was a computer in one corner of the room, and a closet in another. Just when Raven was about to (grudgingly) conclude her search, a tiny face caught the corner of her eye.

Beside the bed was a wooden nightstand, with only a digital clock and a lamp resting on top. But squished underneath a leg of the contraption was a tiny slip of paper; hesitantly, Raven wriggled it out from under the table, afraid she would tear it if she was not careful.

It was a photograph, wrinkled at the edges, as if it had spent some time in a wallet. The picture was obviously once a group shot, but was cut on the right, leaving only the figure of a woman and a backdrop of grass.

She was young, perhaps in her late twenties, with brown hair and fair skin. Her arm was cut off at the cropped edge of the photo, but another, larger arm encircled her waist, leaving Raven to wonder who else had been in the picture. The image had sun-flare at the edges of the photo, and the woman was wearing a tank top, making Raven think it had been taken during the summer, or somewhere hot. Either way, the woman was beautiful, but unfortunately, entirely unfamiliar.

"Don't you know it's rude to pry?"

Raven started. Slade was standing in the doorway. She wondered how long he'd been there.

"Who - "

The picture was snatched from her grip. Raven couldn't imagine how it was important - once he had it, Slade crumpled the photo in his hand.

"It's nothing of your concern." he replied smoothly, calmly. But Raven could hear the anger in his tone, flickering just below the surface.

"I found your workshop," she said quickly, changing the subject. "You're working on robots."

Slade chuckled, a sound that was deep and dark and terrible. "My dear, when I said I had no intention of attacking the Titans in the near future, it wasn't a lie. However, I never said that I didn't have _other_ targets."

Raven bared her teeth. "If you hurt anyone - "

"It will be none of your concern," Slade interjected. "Our deal entails the Titan's safety. Nothing more, nothing less."

He was right. Rage, who'd been blissfully absent, perked up at Slade's manipulation.

"Fine," Raven crossed her arms. "You're clean."

"How delightful."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'll be back tomorrow. If you're not here, I don't care. I see anything suspicious, I'll take it with me and ask you about it the next time I check in."

Slade deadpanned, good eye narrowed.

"Manners, Raven. I expected better from you." He twisted away from her. "Perhaps you take after your _father_ more than I'd thought."

_Father._ Trigon.

_You are merely the portal. An insignificant pawn in Trigon's game._

_Then I guess we have that in common. And once he gets what he wants, you'll be insignificant too._

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Raven said bitterly. "I was right. You _were_ a fool."

She had been sorely tempted to say _are_, but refrained. Raven was in no mood to bicker.

But Slade shrugged, once. "Perhaps I was, then. But I've learned my lesson. And I assure you, Raven - "

He turned back, eye sparkling with malice.

"I don't tolerate disrespect, no matter _who_ it's from."

Not too long ago - or maybe an eternity ago - Raven would have been intimidated by Slade's display of dominance. There was a window of time, after he'd burned the inscriptions into her flesh, where Raven's nightmares were haunted by his flaming touch. Even when he'd simply held her over the vision of the future, Raven had been horrified of Slade's grip. Occasionally, Raven could feel the ghosts of his fingers, wound around her forearms, so large in comparison to her own. She could still feel his breath against her cheek, hot and smelling of sulfur and decay, as he hissed the prophecy she'd feared all her life.

_No! I won't do it!_

In a dark, private corner of her soul, Raven had been glad Slade tossed her off the tower once he was finished with his message. When they had been alone, above the fire and stone, she was mortified by the scene, no doubt. But during the vision, a new fear, a woman's fear, had emerged for the first time in her young life. Raven had been weak and nearly bare; Slade could have easily overpowered her then. Trigon would have thought it poetic - after all, wasn't that how Raven herself had come into being?

_This will come to pass. I will make sure of it._

But she had eventually overcome her fear, and nearly re-killed Slade to prove it. Raven saw no threat in the man before her.

So she replied bluntly,

"That makes two of us."

The two faced one another, a mental war raging, to see who would break first.

_What now?_

Neither of them moved for a long, long time.


	4. Chapter 4: The Second

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: I cannot wait for this story to progress into one with more intense Raven/Slade interaction. However, it is in the beginning, and they still dislike each other deeply, so it will be a while before any real action comes into play.**

**I've been feeling pretty down recently, today in particular - so much so, I had to stay home from school and work. I actually finished this chapter today in bed. So if anyone can review, share, etc. the story, it would be much appreciated. So far, the feedback I've gotten is pretty positive, which is surprising, considering this is a ship most people consider unconventional or disgusting.**

**Also, if anyone would like a review of their story, I would be more than happy to do it; just message me and I'll give you one. However, if I am unfamiliar with the material/fandom, I won't do it, simply because I don't understand the background information, and want to give your work a review that reflects the quality of your work rather than a 'I'm sorry, I had no idea what this-and-that meant'.**

_"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."_

_- John Steinbeck, East of Eden_

_Rage/Trigon: Hatred shall rule!_

_- Nevermore_

_Chapter Four: The Second_

It was Raven who'd lost the fight. Her communicator had blipped with an all-too familiar jingle - the distress signal. She'd thrown Slade one last disparaging look before phasing out of the mansion to answer the call. Bank robbery down town, new students of the reestablished H.I.V.E. academy. Be there in five.

Raven knew her duty and flew to the battle, no questions asked. Yet somehow, she felt a vague annoyance that she had been the one to break eye contact No doubt Slade would consider it a victory. He'd the one that had been left standing; Raven had been the one to leave.

_You're over-thinking it,_ Intelligence observed dryly. _Any petty games Slade wants to play with you is pointless._

Although Raven agreed wholeheartedly with the logical part of her brain, she allowed a tiny bit of childish spite to fester. In the past, she would have done everything to snuff such emotions, fearing the influence of her demonic blood.

But this was now; now, Raven had cast out her father to save Earth, imprisoned every criminal her team had ever faced, and was simply a different person then she was only a few years ago.

And _this_ Raven understood the importance of feeling things, feeling anything, lest it burst out in the worst way possible. Her horror-movie recreation had been a perfect example of just that.

So if Raven wanted to feel irked by her hypothetical loss against Slade, she would. God help her if her powers manifested into his shape, running around the tower, taunting her failure.

The fight was brief and not particularly eventful; the H.I.V.E. academy's newest graduates lacked finesse and an understanding of the way the Titans operated. It took only twenty minutes for the band of villains to be defeated, detained, and handed over to officers. _Titans, go._

Raven knew she wasn't the only one who felt underwhelmed by the recent series of criminals. Beast Boy seemed antsier than ever, despite his constant complaining that dispensing justice sapped his free time. Hell, even Robin seemed a bit disheartened at the absence of a challenge. Fighting crime, after all, was the Titan's foundation for existing. If they didn't have that, then what was left?

_Friendship,_ Raven reminded herself sternly. _Family. Love._

The anxiety wriggled unwelcomely from a pit in her stomach.

_What now?_

They went out for late-night pizza. Per usual, they argued over who deserved the last slice - which, in this case, Cyborg emerged the victor. Home. Showers for all. Comfort. Familiarity.

In passing, Starfire mentioned that it was a good thing she and Raven had not gone out that night, for their evening would have been ruined. Grateful that the alien had been placated, Raven agreed, until Starfire inquired whether or not _her_ plans had been effected by the robbery. By some stroke of cosmic luck, Robin chose that moment to ask Starfire if Silkie had been yet, because the larva was trying to swallow a pillow whole. It was then Raven elected to retire to her room, thanking the universe for small miracles.

She attempted to read before bed - she was in the middle of a book Arella recommended during one of her infrequent, but otherwise relatively pleasant visits to Azarath - but, for reasons she couldn't fathom, kept picturing the female lead as the brunette in Slade's photograph. In any other instance, Raven wouldn't mind her imagination substituting characters with people she knew in real life (she once read an entire trilogy picturing Terra as every nameless servant and prisoner).

But the woman was different - whether or not she was important to Slade, she had meant _something _to someone at one point or another. Raven couldn't imagine how a seemingly normal, albeit attractive, woman as the sole piece of life in Slade's dark domain. Perhaps she had been a partner, a relative, or -

She scrunched her nose. Although it was a plausible option, Raven seriously doubted the woman had ever been Slade's _lover._ The thought of him touching _anyone_ was enough to make Raven gag, much less the idea someone had _wanted_ him to.

_I don't know, _Passion mused, tapping her chin. _The beard kind of did it for me. Plus, I like his shoulders._

Raven's eye twitched. _"What the hell do _you_ know about _that?_"_

Passion shrugged. _It's my specialty._

_"I ought to lock you up with Rage."_

_Admit it, Raven. It's been forever since you've been on a date. The more you ignore me, the stronger I'll get._ Passion sounded far too pleased with herself.

Raven made a noise of frustration, grinding her hands into her temples. It had most certainly _not_ been forever since she'd been on a date. If Passion wanted to get technical about it, Raven supposed her last date had been...

She blinked. Well, her last _crush_ had been on Malchior, who didn't count, since he turned out to be a lying bastard and a dragon to boot (_Asshole, _she thought venomously, glowering at the chest where his book was locked away). And before that, she'd gone out a couple times with...what was his name? The kid with the skull shirt. And before that...

Well, nothing.

_See, _Passion crowed, triumphant. _Told you so._

Raven only dug her hands in deeper, creating a significant amount of pain against her cranium.

"I'm going to sleep," she informed her room testily. Unsurprisingly, the room didn't reply.

_If you don't hop on an eligible bachelor soon, _Passion whispered as Raven shut her eyes, _all you're going to have to date is that green dog from space with the tongue._

_Shut up, _Lazy growled. _We're trying to go to sleep._

Raven blamed a lack of proper meditation for her emotion's misbehavior tonight. However, if they continued to harass her like this, then a lobotomy would be the healthiest course of action for _all_ involved.

.

"Hey, Raven!"

"What?"

"Dare me to lick the Stank-ball?"

"No."

"Awh, why not?"

"I'm not a sadist, Beast Boy."

"A what?"

Raven ignored the rest of her teammate's invitations to see if he could survive consuming the ball of pungent laundry until he gave up and threw the thing at Cyborg. To be frank, as much as Raven probably _would_ enjoy the sight of Beast Boy writhing in pain from whatever toxic chemicals the Stank-ball contained, she was too preoccupied with thinking about the whole Slade mess to truly enjoy whatever discomfort came to the shape-shifter.

Robin and Starfire, seeing as Raven did not bring food the day before, went out for groceries and supplies. Starfire eagerly reminded Raven that they had plans tonight, describing her desire to have a "vir-gon pino coloda" prior to Robin hauling to her out of the tower.

_I could use a piña colada, _Happy bubbled, beaming.

_Is there a slutty _piña__ _colada?_ Passion asked, still unhappy from the results of last night's discussion.

_Yeah, _snickered Happy. _It's called a _regular_ _piña colada. Duh!__

Raven frowned. Since when had her emotions become so vocal? Or so downright _promiscuous?_

Passion shrugged. _Just thought you wouldn't want another reminder of your virginity, Raven._

Choosing not to dignify that remark with a response, Raven pulled up her hood, flatly informed Cyborg and Beast Boy (who'd taken to wresting on the living room floor) that she would be out, and made way for Slade's home.

.

As Raven knocked once more on that large wooden door, she began to ponder the realistic longevity of this arrangement. Was she really supposed to babysit Slade until she'd felt like he'd reformed - or worse, if she felt like the Titans lives were going so poorly, mentioning Slade's re-emergence into society would have no impact on them whatsoever? It wasn't often that Raven doubted herself or her opinion but in the more recent months, she was becoming less and less sure of the decisions she made. The feeling sat poorly with her.

_What now?_

As before, the door swung open only a couple inches, leaving Raven to squiggle her way inside without tearing her cloak. The door creaked shut behind her, ominous as ever.

"You're earlier than yesterday."

Slade's tone was a matter-of-fact.

"Is there a problem?" Raven asked coldly.

Slade unwound himself from the corner behind the door. Again, he was donned in his full battle armor; Raven wondered if it ever got hot in there. The mansion was drafty and nearly-pitch black, even though the sun was at it's peak and the temperature outside was pushing ninety.

_Vampire! _a disembodied Beast Boy voice popped into Raven's imagination, before Rage thoroughly incinerated and destroyed said voice with as much hatred she could muster.

Slade inclined his head. "Should there be?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Goo_d._" His voice dragged out the last syllable, in a way that curving and metallic and so utterly _Slade._ Raven suppressed a shudder, not wanting to give Slade the wrong impression.

He observed her for a few more moments, then strode away, fists swinging by his side. Once more, Raven followed.

"I'll have you know that I'm working right now," he told her smoothly, glancing back as they walked. The whites of his eyes contrasted sharply with the darkness. "So make an effort to leave as soon as possible."

This perked Raven's interest. "What are you working on?"

"Dear child, I believe we've already discussed the boundaries of our agreement."

"It's my job to know if you're going to hurt someone. Whether it's now or later, Slade, if whatever you're doing is going to put someone in danger, _I'm_ going to be the one to clean it up."

They'd reached the living room. The television was on this time, but it was only the highlights from the early-morning news broadcast. Slade turned heel to look at her; Raven nearly bumped head-first into his chest.

"How are Starfire and Robin doing?" he inquired politely, leaning down to meet her eye-to-eye. She felt like a finger of ice was tracing up her spine.

"Just fine. Now - "

"How long has it been since they've become..._official?_" Raven could picture a sneer behind the slits of Slade's mask. "Weeks? A month? Time goes by in a blink, you know. And you've all grown up quite a _bit._"

_A week? A month? A millennia? Far too long for _my_ tastes._

Reflexively, Raven crossed her arms over her chest, glad that the dim lighting hid her blush. "Why do you care whether or not Starfire and Robin are dating?"

Slade chuckled, the sound echoing over the reporter's voice from the T.V.

"My dear, I care about very little in this world. Frankly, you and your _team_ don't make the cut."

As irrational and stupid as it was, Raven couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit miffed by Slade's supposed indifference. He'd damn well _cared_ about them for years, in his own twisted, screwed up way. The criminals the Titans faced were all out for themselves until the Titans apprehended them; Slade, on the other hand, and frequently sought after the team _itself__._

"The woman," Raven remarked, "in the picture. Does _she_ make the cut?"

Slade began replying before she'd finished her sentence. "Kid, don't push your luck."

He was mad - Raven could sense that much. He and Robin, both so quick to anger. She couldn't imagine living in that perpetual mood swing.

_Well, _she considered sourly, thinking of Rage, _getting _that_ angry so often. Losing yourself._

_Yeah, _Intelligence snorted._ Like you don't know anything about _that.

_Let's just say I have issues with my father._

"Haven't I told you already? I'm not afraid of you anymore," Raven retorted, tone clipped. "So you might as well tell me now."

Slade stood up straighter, regaining his towering height over her. His fingers were clenching and un-clenching themselves, like he was debating whether or not to strike her.

But in the end, he simply remarked, "I never _did_ speak with you after the battle against your father."_  
><em>

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"You've changed."

Raven wasn't sure if it was a compliment or not. "So have you."

He let out a single, half-amused laugh. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"

And with that he spun away from her, returning to whatever cranny of the living room he would hide in until she left. Although yes, Raven was _not_ afraid of Slade, she received the impression he would avoid discussion about the woman in the photograph at whatever cost. So she did her search, declared to the darkness that he was clean, and left.

.

"Tell me again what the point of this is, Starfire."

Starfire, who'd been enthusiastically slurping away at her icy tropical concoction, lifted her head and smiled brightly.

"Do you not like the 'pino coloda', dear friend Raven? You could try 'Shirley Temple' but I did not know cannibalism was an accepted concept on your planet - "

"It's not," Raven muttered, stirring her melting yellow drink with a straw. "I just thought girl's night would involve more, oh, I don't know..."

She turned and gave a hate-filled glare at a booth of fraternity boys who'd been unabashedly gawking at the redheaded alien girl for the past forty minutes. The restaurant was located on the pier, and these guys had quite literally, followed them from the club they'd visited, into a movie theater, and now here.

"_Girls._"

Starfire followed Raven's gaze. "Oh, well, I am sure they are merely seeking to ask your hand on 'the date'."

_Yeah, Raven, _Passion smirked. _I bet you could bang it out with one of them. The blond one's pretty hot._

As if on cue, the tall blond of the group noticed Raven's annoyed stare and winked at her.

"Sorry, not my type," Raven said, turning back to her friend. Passion slumped with disappointment.

Starfire glanced back, taking another look at the selection. "Perhaps you are correct," she agreed. "None of them look the least bit knowledgeable on demon lore, or depressing music."

In spite of herself, Raven snickered into her drink. Maybe girl's night out wasn't so bad after all.

The sound of a crashing wave attracted Raven's attention to the sea below her. The water had been peaceful and black, but a sudden rush of it was spouting up the edge of the pier, curdling beside Raven and Starfire's table.

Before either heroine could make a move, the spout of water came to a head, revealing a handsome young man they both knew and adored.

"Aqualad!" Starfire exclaimed, scrambling to reach him over the pier's railing. He laughed and hopped off the spout of water, landing beside the girls. The remaining water fell, splashing into the ocean.

Raven could not help the color from spreading across her cheeks. Passion slapped her forehead.

_What the fresh hell is _this, _Raven? How could you forget to mention Aqualad, the Atlantis-born badass with _tights_ to match?_

She didn't answer Passion's griping; instead, she flicked her gaze back to the fraternity boys, smiling at the dumbfounded looks on the boy's faces.

" - just passing through, thought that it looked like you guys up there." Aqualad grinned at Raven. "How was Japan?"

"Um, it was...cool," she stuttered. Damn, Raven forgot just how good-looking the boy was. "We did our job."

Aqualad nodded. "Everything's been going pretty good in Steel City since the Brotherhood of Evil went out of business. We've just been dealings with pests ever since."

_Pests. _Were the Titans East just as bored as their team had been lately? Raven elected not to ask, skeptical of the answer.

"Oh, how delightful!" Starfire clapped her hands. "Yes, things are better than ever now. Raven and I were having a 'girl's night out', and it's been so much _fun!_"

Aqualad smoothed back his dark hair, which only served to embarrass Raven further and throw Passion into a tizzy. "Girl's night, huh? Well, I guess I'd better get going. Say hi to everyone for me."

_Don't go! _Passion wailed. _You have no idea how I feel about you!_

_N-no way, _Timid stammered, covering her face. _He makes me nervous. I don't like it._

_Have you _seen _him?!_ Passion screeched, tearing at her purple cloak. _Of course he'd make you nervous! He'd make _Trigon _nervous! Raven, do something!_

A strangled cough erupted from Raven's lips just as Aqualad had summoned another water spout. He turned expectantly to the girls.

"Um," Raven fumbled, hating herself. "Bye."

A friendly smile broke across his expression.

"You know," Aqualad said. "We should get together sometime. I really don't hang out with you guys as often as I'd like, and being around Bumblebee too much can get pretty draining."

"Oh _yes,_" Starfire agreed, nearly shoving Raven in front of her. "We would _all _enjoy your company, friend Aqualad!"

He smiled in agreement. "Bye Starfire, Raven. You know how to reach me."

Raven liked to imagine he said the last part to solely to her, and that his gaze lingered a little longer than it should have.

"He is so pleasant, Raven," the alien girl giggled. "Perhaps _you_ could one day have the date with Aqualad."

It was then that Raven had a horrible vision of herself kissing Aqualad goodnight at Slade's door, only to have Slade himself barge out and demand _where have you been young lady I've been waiting for you all day _and _who's this kid with the hair if only your father were here to see this _before dragging her inside the house and making her watch the news for the remainder of the evening.

"I think I've had enough of boys for one day," she groaned, tossing another glare at the frat boys, who'd seemed to realize they were out of their league with the Titan heroines and flirting with their waitress instead.


	5. Chapter 5: The Third

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Thank you for your kind reviews. They really brightened my day, especially with all the crap going on right now. This chapter is for you. Hope it's to your liking.**

**Raven and Slade get a little more intense in this piece. Thank God.**

**As always, reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated.**

_"I am not talking to you now through medium of custom...it is my spirit that addresses your spirit...equal - as we are!"_

_- Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre_

_Slade: For the record, I'm no one's servant._

_- The End, Part III_

_Chapter Five: The Third_

"Yo, Rae, pass me the wrench."

Not looking up from her book, Raven levitated the wrench under the T-car, where Cyborg proceeded to twist and turn pieces of machinery. Sparks flew out a short while later, missing the hem of her cloak by inches.

"Careful, Cyborg."

"Sorry, Rae. Hey, could you pass me the flamethrower?"

Glad Cyborg wasn't looking, Raven rolled her eyes in dismay. Nevertheless, she gave the contraption to her friend.

"What could part of a car could _possibly_ need a flamethrower to fix it?"

There was the sound of a safety helmet swinging down.

"I thought I told you already!" Cyborg exclaimed, voice muffled. "It's to - "

And the sound of flames and gears turning and God knew what else cut off the rest of his explanation. Raven watched his robotic legs wiggle around a bit, before shutting her book.

"I have to be somewhere."

The symphony of noise came to an abrupt halt. Cyborg wheeled himself from the underbelly of the T-car, a patch of grease smearing his cheek.

"Awh, really, Rae?"

She nodded. "Thanks for letting me help with the car."

Cyborg gave Raven her favorite goofy grin. "Anytime, Rae."

Raven left the garage and proceeded to get ready for Slade's check up. To be frank, cars weren't interesting to her in the slightest. But Raven was close with her half-robot teammate; unfortunately, it had been cars that they'd bonded over, so cars were their thing. And it would continue to be cars, until Raven adopted video games or Cyborg took an interest in meditation. The latter was still pending - Raven desperately hoped some calm in _one_ of the Titan troublemakers would rub off on the other.

As if on cue, Beast Boy raced past her in the hallway, screaming, "_I didn't do it! I didn't do it!_"

Raven paused, waiting. Eventually, Robin came speeding after the green changeling, his hair color now a bright, bubblegum-hued blue.

.

"Hello?" Raven knocked on the door for the tenth time, knuckles aching from repeated abuse. "Is anyone home?"

Again, nothing. Half of Raven thought Slade might be out doing, well, _whatever_ Slade did, and the other half wondered if he was ignoring her.

_Just come back later, _Lazy yawned. _Procrastinate once in a while._

_Hella no, _said Brave. _Let's see what this wack-o's up to! Maybe he's doing something, you know, Slade-y._

Raven weighed her options. Above, a crow cawed as it swooped down, landing on a nearby plot of grass.

_What now?_

She frowned.

_Well, I warned him,_ Raven thought darkly, and phased through the door.

At first, she honestly believed Slade was not in the house. Everything was dark and drafty per usual, but the house seemed somewhat less...malevolent. It was almost peaceful.

A muted _thump_ resonated from past the staircase. Mildly alarmed, she followed the noise.

Eventually, Raven could hear heavy breathing coming from the hallway, with the periodic sound of fists slamming against a heavy object.

_I think he's working out, _she thought apprehensively. Raven wasn't sure what the protocol for this was - what if Slade, filled with adrenaline and the general angst that came with exercise, took the opportunity to attack? She couldn't imagine Slade as the type to make a stupid, testosterone-driven impulse like that; then again, she wasn't sure of much nowadays. Raven half-expected a goddamn unicorn to show up at any moment.

Warily, she crept to the edge of the door frame and peeked inside.

There he was, swinging and kicking a punching bag in the middle of the gym. The bag swung like a pendulum from the force of Slade's strikes, as if it were nothing more than a hacky-sack being tossed back and forth. He seemed entirely absorbed in beating the thing to a stuffing-filled pulp, and not once did he acknowledge the pale girl he'd once fought against, who was watching from the shadows.

_Yikes, _Lazy squinted at the scene. _Doesn't it get all sweaty under that mask?_

_Shut up and watch his muscles, _Passion squeaked, shoving Lazy aside.

_Ew! _Happy laughed. _Why are you watching _Slade?

_I'll take anything I can get, _Passion waved dismissively. _Besides, no harm in looking._

In spite of the mental dialogue between the emotions, Raven observed with quiet admiration - the man never seemed to slow, never paused to take a breath. He really _was _a worthy adversary, for any hero. It took the Titans _years_ just to catch up with him, only for him to fall between the cracks when all Hell broke loose.

Evil he may be, but Slade was a force to be reckoned with. He was not Doctor Light or Johnny Rancid, petty criminals with unintelligent plans of robbery or other stupid violations of the law. Slade was everything a villain was, and everything a hero was, in the body of a single man.

Abruptly, he ceased. Raven stiffened, knowing she'd been caught.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you," he said to the swinging punching bag, "that it's _rude_ to stare?"

Raven bit her cheek, annoyed and embarrassed. "You didn't answer the door. I let myself in."

Slade said nothing; without warning, he lunged at her.

Raven levitated out of the way in the nick of time, but Slade reached up and grabbed her ankle. With a grunt, Raven was tossed down on the ground, pain ricocheting up her hip.

"Azarath, Mentrion - "

The weight she'd been focusing on clattered to the ground; Slade snatched the back of her hood, slamming her into a wall and breaking her concentration.

Hand still gripping her hood, Slade put his other arm on her shoulder, pinning it to the wall. His eye was narrowed.

"I see you haven't improved in combat," he hissed. Raven felt his breath slide through the slits of the mask, hot and uncomfortable against her skin.

"Nice try," Raven panted, loathing the man with everything she had. "I've kicked your ass before. Don't make me do it again."

"Tsk, tsk," There was no fear in Slade's voice. "Language, Raven. If you keep playing _dirty_, you will have done your father proud."

Rage howled with laughter. A burst of black energy sparked between the two, casting Slade backwards. He caught himself, though, dragging a hand along the ground to a stop.

Raven levitated above him, magic blazing from her eyes and hands.

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to my father!" she spat. "_I _defeated Trigon! _You_ helped him destroy Earth!"

"The Prophecy had been absolute," Slade countered. "If it wasn't me, Trigon would have found someone _else_ to serve him. And, my dear, _I _was the one who saved you."

_Raven has fulfilled the prophecy of her birth. That part of her existence is complete._

"That's a _lie!_" Raven seethed, her powers flaring. "My _friends_ saved me, not you! You only led Robin to me so you could get what Trigon had promised you in the first place!"

_But another part still remains._

"How do you think I knew where you were?" Slade demanded, straightening. "Believe it or not, Raven, once your demon blood had been used to create the portal, Trigon considered tossing you into the fire. But he thought you would have made an interesting _pet_ for me."

_For the moment._

This stopped Raven. She always wondered why Trigon had chosen to spare her human form. Eventually, Raven had assumed it was Trigon's demented way of showing fatherly affection, or that he would have found it funny to watch her run around, weak and powerless, in the world she'd once loved.

"Why would he have done _that?_"

Despite having only one eye, Slade's gaze bore into Raven, digging into her skin they way no other's could.

"Trigon liked to make examples of his power," he answered dully. "Azarath demolished; his daughter as only a shell of her former self - it was only natural that _my_ example would be a constant reminder of the service I had provided for him. When I awoke in the library chamber, you were right beside me."

_You only exist because _I_ allow it!_

_No, no, no! _Raven couldn't believe it. After all this time, her existence had been reliant on being a _punishment_ for _Slade?!_

This whole ordeal between them was founded on the guilt Raven felt about owing Slade her safety during the end of the world. And now she was finding out that she may not have even _existed_ had he not been there, solely as a _statement?!_

"I-I don't remember you." Raven was sinking, sinking to the ground. She felt empty, small - how could their fates have been so _reliant_ upon one another? Slade, promised life if he delivered a message to Raven, only for her to become a sick joke to him once the deed was done; Raven, utterly afraid of Slade 'till the very end, only to have him lead her family to her and help save the world?

Slade picked up a metal, round weight that had gotten misplaced during their tussle. "You were an intelligent child, I assure you." His voice was flat, sliding the weight back onto a rack. "But Trigon left you with little memory of who you were before opening the portal. It was..._hardly_ entertaining."

Something about the way he said that made Raven's stomach turn. "What...what did you _do - _"

Slade looked back at her from the weight rack. "I did what I do best: I used you to my advantage. The Titans could scarcely believe their _precious _friend was still alive, even if she was no longer the girl they once knew."

_Precious._ Like a gemstone.

_The Gem was born of evil's fire..._

The world was growing cloudy. Slade's eye was splitting in two. How ironic.

Raven ground her teeth, creating pressure in her jaw. "Why are you telling me this now?"

A pause engulfed the space of the room. She saw Slade's fingers clench, shaking with suppressed emotion.

"Because, Raven, if we are to continue this arrangement, you and I need to be on _equal_ terms."

He was already walking away, apparently done with training. Slade's voice grew fainter as the distance between them widened.

"After all, we _did_ destroy the world. I would consider that to be _quite_ the experience. Wouldn't you?"

.

_He's just toying with you, _Intelligence reassured Raven for what felt like the millionth time. _Who knows if anything he says is true?_

_But what if it is? _Timid sounded on the verge of tears. _Robin said Slade led him to you. How would Slade know where you were?_

_That two-faced coward! _Brave cracked her knuckles. _He didn't even finish the fight!__  
><em>

_"All of you, SHUT UP!"_

And just like that, the emotions were silent. Raven closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall. She was in an empty upstairs room, just sitting on the ground while she collected herself. Raven had double checked, then triple checked every corner of this godforsaken mansion, but found no evidence of anything that could potentially harm the Titans.

Yet she could not bring herself to go back downstairs. Raven was mentally drained; she was in no condition to face Slade again.

_What now?_

"I'm not afraid of him," she mumbled to herself. "I'm not."

And she wasn't.

So what _was_ she afraid of? What was this horrible, awful nagging sensation that tore at her insides?

Fine, Raven could accept the fact that Trigon had mocked Slade through her. She expected no less of her father. Nor was she angry that Slade used her as a bargaining chip for flesh and blood - Raven already knew _that_ too.

So what was it that made her so tense about their conversation?

Immediately, Raven ruled out fear. Had it been their fight? It had been over a year since she'd fought Slade. Did the possibility of another combat session make her uncomfortable? But Raven knew that wasn't the answer before the idea was completed.

_Equals._

Raven grimaced at the shadows. _That_ was what bothered her. Slade insisted that, from now on, they treat one another as _equals._ Though for what reasons, Raven could scarcely fathom.

Slade claimed he had no immediate plans to harm the Teen Titans. Was this his way of making peace?

_I don't think so, _Intelligence coughed. _Remember how he would harp about Robin and how they were similar? Maybe Slade's always considered you an equal._

_"Doubt it,"_ Raven replied, mouth twisting into a thin line. _"Equals show each other respect. They don't tear your clothes and then throw you off a tower while you're unconscious."_

_Things are different now, _Intelligence shrugged. _And you are blackmailing him.__  
><em>

Raven blinked. Did Slade want her to be more..._polite? _Was he calling her behavior _bratty?_

Well, she supposed (birthday incident aside) he never _had_ been blatantly rude to her. He was certainly more eloquent than Gizmo, who'd name-called all the Titans on a regular basis.

"This is pointless," Raven grumbled, fingers in her hair. "He doesn't deserve anything. He's tried to _kill _me."

_And yet, here we are. _Intelligence folded her arms.

On some bizarre level, Raven considered that, at one point and time, they _were _equals: they had been insignificant to Trigon, then tossed out like trash, _together._

_Look at me, Robin! There's nothing I can do._

It was cold in this room. Just like the rest of Slade's home, his heart.

.

Unlit, the chandelier was an eerie sight to behold. The crystals clinked ominously as Raven floated down the stairwell. Most likely, the chandelier had been beautiful, once. But now it sagged like an old spiderweb, useless and bloated, dangling from the ceiling.

Raven slowed her stride as she approached the living room. Slade was standing in front of the television, arms folded, glaring at the screen. A failed transmission message was printed in boxy, computer-generated letters across a blue backdrop, and Raven had no desire to learn who he had been contacting.

"You're clean." Her voice was kept at its usual monotone, but Raven knew the effort was wasted. The man lived to see people squirm.

_And no matter what you wish, no matter where you go, no matter how you squirm..._

His eye roved towards her. "Good."

_There is nothing you can do...to stop it._

Raven swallowed, her throat mysteriously going dry under Slade's scrutinizing gaze. God, she hated the effect he had on her, had on _everyone._

"Unlock the door," Raven said stiffly. "If you don't want me to come in without knocking, yet fail to answer when I do, then I suggest you unlock the door."

Slade moved, then, sliding in front of her. He moved like water, fluid and without a doubt.

"And why, Raven, should I comply to your request?"

_Raven._ Her name was silky and dark and horrifying on his lips. Raven had always been relatively fond of her title; now, she wanted nothing more than to change it.

"Because, _Slade_, if we're going to continue this arrangement, you and I need to be on _equal_ terms."

And for the very first time, Raven knew from the strange sixth sense that had brought them together to begin with - Slade was smiling.


	6. Chapter 6: The New

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, or any of the other franchises mentioned in the work.**

**a/n: It's been a while since I've updated! Thank you all for the get-better wishes. And I'm glad you guys are liking the story.**

**To be honest, this was a strange chapter for me to write. Let me know how you feel about it all.**

**Also, for one reason or another, I keep seeing pictures of Deathstroke/Slade cosplays on tumblr. It's my dream to force a boyfriend to dress up like him, and I'll dress up as Raven. We'll run around Comic-Con making out and generally confusing people who know it isn't canon.**

**Please, sweet baby Jesus/Satan/aliens, make my dream come true. If it ever does, you can bet I will post my adventures all over the internet and link you guys to it. Seriously, though, if you guys know any voodoo or something to make that happen, I would become your groupie. For life.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are appreciated/encouraged. Por favor.**

_"A man can smile and smile and be a villain."_

_- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World_

_Slade: Take my word for it, Robin. You shouldn't play with fire._

_- Birthmark_

_Chapter Six: The New_

If anyone had asked, Raven would have said her day was going fine.

_'Raven?'_

_'Yes?'_

_'How was your day?'_

_'Fine.'_

It wasn't a lie.

But it wasn't the truth, either.

If she had lied, Raven would have said her day was going great.

If she had told the truth, Raven would have said her day was going oddly.

Raven wasn't a liar. Yet she didn't want to tell the truth.

So she prepared her answer beforehand.

Her day _was_ fine. She'd helped Cyborg out with the T-car. She'd witnessed her fearless, semi-celebrity team leader's signature hairstyle resemble a piece of cotton candy. So no, that part of her day had been fine.

Unfortunately, Raven had also been thrashed around by a man who, apparently, she owed not only her life, but her goddamn _respect_ as well.

So 'fine' it was.

God, her room was dark.

Raven swiveled her head, taking in the spell books, artifacts, and every other material thing that belonged to her. In the shadows, their shapes seemed to merge and bloat, taking the shape of creatures she didn't even have a name for.

_Maybe I should consider redecorating._

Propped against her headboard, Raven hugged her knees. She never _did_ revisit that idea.

_Maybe it's not the room, _a tiny voice, one that didn't belong to an emotion, mumbled from a crevice of her brain. _Maybe_ _it just needs a some more light._

Thinking of Slade's dank, lifeless house by the bay, Raven scowled. She focused her energy on a curtain, tugging it open and allowing the afternoon sunshine to spill through.

However, the change only lasted a few minutes; Raven was constantly distracted by the sliver of yellow light, painted in a skinny stripe across the floor. With a grimace, she drew the curtains shut, once again muting the colors of the room.

Though she would have loved to believe differently, Raven was no houseplant. She didn't need regular exposure to the sun.

Nevertheless, she resolved to try again the next day - which, hopefully, would garner any adjective other than _fine_.

.

Gray blanketed the streets beside the bay, chilling the exposed flesh of Raven's thighs. Street lamps burned through the fog, but did little to provide illumination at this early hour.

Raven had left for Slade's a little earlier than she normally would have - there was a new public library opening up, and the mayor wanted the Titans to be there to cut the ribbon. Raven supposed this was compensation for the _last_ public library being the place of Trigon worship. Subtlety at it's finest, in her opinion. Kudos to you, karma.

When she got there, Raven was hesitant to knock. Had her demands been met?

Gingerly, she twisted the doorknob, and the darkness within the house crept out as the door admitted entrance. Raven didn't know if she should be surprised.

"Slade?"

Raven flicked her gaze to the driveway; sure enough, there was the hulking black car, glowering blackly at her intrusion.

_You're an idiot, _Rage huffed. _Hurry up and go inside. If Slade's asleep, who gives a damn? You didn't come all the way here to worry if you're going to catch Slade in his pajamas._

_Slade in pajamas!_ The very thought brought tears to Timid's eyes.

_Lucky bastard, _Lazy grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

_Slade in his underpants, _Passion sighed woefully. _Raven, I think I'm in love._

Ignoring the emotions, Raven entered, making sure to close the door behind her. Somehow, the gesture felt familiar, normal; noting the sensation, she made a face.

The living room was empty, as was the gym. There were no sounds, no indications Slade was home. Slightly apprehensive, Raven made her way up the stairwell, doing her best not to worry about a trap of some sorts. Not after he'd insisted they treated one another as _equals._

_What now?_

_I have a bad feeling about this,_ Timid simpered, echoing Raven's worries.

_Shh!_ Raven hushed. There! A quiet rustling was coming from -

Slade's bedroom.

Blush spread like wildfire across Raven's cheekbones. She wasn't sure if the darkness of her hood was enough to conceal the coloring.

_Oh, no,_ Intelligence groaned.

_Oh, yes,_ Passion breathed, not the least bit ashamed.

Decency was on Raven's side - the door was closed, only allotting the faintest slice of a roving shadow, stretching out from the space below it. Scenarios see-sawed in Raven's brain, most involving her fleeing for the hills - or, in this case, Titan's tower (which, if you wanted to get technical about it, was on a little lump of an island Raven supposed could be called a hill).

Just as she was about to make her decision (flee _slowly with dignity_ to the hills) the door swung open. Raven didn't have time to register the utter mortification she should have felt. One could only imagine what an idiot she looked like from the outside, what with her ogling blankly at her nemesis' bedroom entryway. Slade would never let this go, _if_ he ever let her go after this. This lapse in judgement was going to cost Raven her freedom, maybe even her life.

The worst part? She wouldn't blame him one single bit. Hadn't Raven _herself_ threatened death upon those who entered her room? To not expect a similar reaction from someone like Slade would be, well, hypocritical.

A woman stumbled out. Raven blinked, honestly considering the possibility she was hallucinating.

The woman - willowy and supporting tresses a shade of red that was in no way, shape or form a natural hue - blinked at Raven.

"Aren't you a Teen Titan?"

Raven was still speechless. Her hallucination was attempting to make conversation.

The woman squinted, frowned, then gave a small shake of her head. "Nevermind," she muttered, flustered. "I'm sorry. It's been a long night, and Joseph got up so early - "

"Joseph?" Raven barely recognized her own voice.

The woman, who'd been rifling through a clutch purse, threw Raven a distracted glance. "Yeah, um, I, uh, we..."

She fished out her car keys. Relief broke out across her face.

"Anyway, I have to run. Oh, and I used all the soap in the bathroom. Joseph probably needs more, and I couldn't find any to replace it."

_Wait._ Indignation sparked through the shock. Raven's lip curled.

The visitor had already scurried out, hastily slamming the door behind her. Raven stood frozen, joints locked, for God knew how long.

_WHAT THE FU -_

Passion was, perhaps, the most upset. Brave slapped a hand over her purple-cloaked sister's filthy mouth in the nick of time.

Every basic survival instinct informed Raven to turn heel and leave. Get a doughnut. Her blood sugar depended on it.  
>But another tiny, stupid part of Raven urged her to keep looking for the masked madman.<p>

Raven wasn't the one to do stupid things. That was Beast Boy, Cyborg, Robin at his worst and Starfire because she didn't know any better.

But Raven? No. She was the smart one. The logical one. The one who didn't make bonehead maneuvers.

That was why, just this once, Raven decided to make the stupid choice, and barged into Slade's bedroom.

There was the scene of the crime. The black bedspreads were rumpled, with a couple pillows tossed haphazardly beside the nightstand. A towel was hanging up to dry on a hook beside the bathroom door. Raven swore she could smell cheap perfume, lingering like poison gas above her.

"Hello, Raven."

Her heart nearly burst at the sound of his voice. Raven spun around, only to see Slade shutting the door with a definite _click._

"Slade - "

"I trust you enjoyed, ah, my adherence to your wishes? You should know, I'm opening myself up to petty thieves while the front door remains unlocked. I suggest you express gratitude at my generosity."

Raven ground her teeth. "If you drugged or hurt that woman - "

Slade cocked his head, eye pensive. Had he placed the mask on after the woman had left? Raven doubted Slade would reveal his criminal counterpart with a woman who used all the soap in his bathroom.

"Tut, tut, Raven. That doesn't sound like _gratitude _at all."

_ASK HIM!_ Passion shrieked, breaking free of Brave's control. _Ask him who that skank was - _

Raven folded her arms. "If you're going to have overnight _guests_," she hissed, "then I would throughly _appreciate_ it if you warned me beforehand."

_What do you want?_

Slade's broad shoulders moved slightly with his low, timbre laughter.

_Only what any messenger wants._

"Are you truly that..._innocent_, my dear? As an equal, I would expect only _respect_ when my personal life conflicted with our arrangement."_  
><em>

_For his message to be delivered._

Blood was roaring in Raven's ears. If someone had told Raven she would be having this conversation with a man she spent loathing for a good portion of her young life, Raven might have suggested psychiatric aid.

But this was now. And now, here she was, discussing the treatment of Slade's paramour.

Oh, how cruel life could be.

"Unless," the masked man drawled, inching closer. "You are unable to handle such things in a mature fashion."

It was a test.

Raven felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. Slade had _gone out,_ found a woman to _come home with him, _just to see if Raven would _treat him as an equal.__  
><em>

_What now?_

"How did you know I was going to come at this time?" Raven whispered.

Slade's pupil dilated. "Jump City delegates far too much time in honoring it's heroes. My sources informed me that this afternoon, the H.I.V.E. will attack a power plant near the docks. Early morning seemed to be the only opening in your schedule, my dear."

_Lies,_ Lazy grunted. _The next time Slade wants to make a point, he should do it _after_ the sun rises._

Raven stared long and hard at her adversary. He stood just as still, patiently waiting for her reaction, hands clasped behind his back.

So far, this day wasn't going _fine, oddly, _or_ great. _Her day was going _to shit.__  
><em>

"Fine," Raven's tone was strained. "Good morning, Slade."

Slade made a noise of approval. "Good girl."

And he left Raven behind, with only the company of tussled sheets and pure, utter frustration.

_What now?_

Her sweep of the mansion was halfhearted and brief. Most of the time, Raven paid little attention to what she was doing, even tripping over a robotic limb in the workshop.

Frankly, she considered Slade's power to play to be juvenile. He'd learned all there was to know about her during his service to Trigon. He knew her. He knew what she would discuss.

And he knew what she _wouldn't_ discuss.

Raven was an intelligent young adult. And she wasn't ignorant of the more _primal _matters of humankind. She'd learned all there was to learn on the matter during her adolescence on Azarath, much to Arella's dismay. The monks taught her that it was simply the way life continued, nothing more. Much later, Arella insisted that Raven wait until she could trust her significant other, preferably after marriage. Obviously, Trigon rarely spoke of the matter, unless it was to point out how Raven was conceived and emphasize her evil origins._  
><em>

Personally, Raven decided long ago that abstaining from the sins of the flesh was the safest course of action for everyone involved. The monks had urged her to detach emotion from the activity should she participate, simply to keep her powers from doing something unspeakable. And God forbid she procreate - Raven herself couldn't imagine what kind of monster she'd spawn. Best to leave the baby-making to those without demon blood in their veins.

So, unsurprisingly, _that_ was a topic Raven avoided like the plague. Whether it come up in her books, on television, or even in a particularly racy conversation amongst the boys, Raven would skip ahead, tune out, or change the subject. It wasn't for her, and that was that.

_We'll be in touch. Oh, and happy birthday._

Slade really _did_ know how to push their buttons.

_Abstinence, _Passion bemoaned. _I hate you, Raven._

_It's best for everyone, _Intelligence said sternly.

_Well, if Slade's gonna pull a stunt like that, we should retaliate! _Brave sprang up, full of gusto.

Raven perked up. Brave had a point. She and Slade were _equals, _after all. It was _her_ turn to push buttons.

_There you are! _Happy squealed. _Time to g__et feisty, girlfriend._

_"Thanks for the advice," _Raven answered dryly. Nevertheless, she went to the living room with promises of retribution.

Slade was punching something into a thin silver laptop, cross-legged on his chair. His gaze slid to her then back to the computer screen. "Well?"

"Clean."

"Good."

Raven paused. Then, with all the boldness she could muster, levitated a stool from the kitchen area and placed it in front of Slade before sitting on it. The metal was cold, bleeding through her leotard.

Slade lifted his head. The glare of the computer screen highlighted the rusty orange half of his mask.

"Is there something you need?"

"Who was the woman in the photograph?"

The eye narrowed. "Your persistence is admirable, Raven. But it is growing tiresome."

"I don't think so," Raven retorted flatly. "You gave me a test. I passed. As _my_ equal, you're going to have to answer some of my questions."

He gave (what Raven imagined was) a dirty look. But the eye roved back to the computer screen.

"She is no longer of any importance," he replied cooly, continuing to type. However, Raven was not placated.

"_Explain._"

"She will _continue_ to be insignificant."

God, it was like talking to a wall.

"Who was she? How did you know her? What did she mean to you?" Raven probed.

Slade glared at her and shut his laptop, reinstating the shadows.

"She was someone who you will never meet. I know everything about her. And she means less than nothing to me."

Intuition told Raven that he was lying. For now, that was enough.

She nodded curtly at the masked man. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"I never expected otherwise."

Turned away, Raven rolled her eyes. Then, in an afterthought, "Goodbye, Slade."

_What now?_

Slade didn't so much as miss a beat.

"Until later, Raven."

.

_I'm surprised you're not still upset over the, ahem, incident of the morning, _remarked Intelligence as Raven soared back to the Tower.

_"Slade's tricks are usually more predictable. It was a change in pace," _Raven replied mildly.

_I'm still upset! _Passion cried. _I can't believe Slade's getting some and you aren't, Raven! Hell, he only has _one eye_ and he's doing better than you!_

The communicator blipped against her hip. Blatantly ignoring Passion's insults, Raven flipped open the screen.

Aqualad's handsome face smiled back at her.

_Sweet baby Jesus, he's back, _Passion gasped, her previous tantrum extinguished.

"Hey, Raven," he waved through the transmission. Raven could feel traces of blush reappearing against her cheeks as she waved back.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming down tonight to help plug a few geysers," Aqualad tossed his mane of hair over a shoulder. "And I was wondering if you, or any of the other Titans, wanted to hang out after I finish."

_Tell him you want to hang out in his pants, _Passion suggested helpfully.

"Um, yeah, sure," Raven fiddled with a jewel in her belt. "We'll probably go out for pizza."

Remembering Slade's warning that the H.I.V.E. would attack later today, she nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, we'll _definitely _be going out for pizza."

"Sounds great," he flashed a toothy grin, revealing teeth the color of deep-sea pearls. "I'll catch you later."

_Is it really so hard to say 'let's make out to the soundtrack of _Titanic'_? _Passion demanded.

"Yeah," Raven flushed. "Bye."

The screen went blank.

_What now?_

Well, if an asshole like Slade could snag a date, then Raven should have no problem in getting one with Aqualad.

Raven made her way back to the Tower desperately praying that, for once in her life, things were going her way.


	7. Chapter 7: The Start

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any other copyrighted work below.**

**a/n: It's been a while! I need to speed up my updates, yikes! Hopefully you guys aren't too mad at me.**

**Inopportune Opportunist (who's been the best, really) brought up a great point about the whole masked Slade even-though-Raven-already-knows-what-he-looks-like thing. I'd planned to address that a little while away, but forgot that it could have potentially made the story confusing. Apologies, and I will explain shortly.**

**This is the first chapter where Raven and Slade don't interact directly with one another, so it might be a little slow. But it _is _important, I promise. There's a lot of character development in this one - I never want to write a story where the romance/plot/etc. will come off as unrealistic. So this is the final touches for the first steps of the actual pairing.**

**Also, fun fact: every literary quote I use for the beginning of the chapter is from a book I've read (even if I didn't finish it). The quote below is one of my favorites, not only because of it's source material, but because I think it fits this story so well. I highly recommend any of the novels mentioned in every chapter.**

_"When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."_

_- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey_

_Slade [referring to The End]: "With or without me, there was no stopping this."_

_Robin: But you played a part. And just like everything else you've ever done, it's made people suffer._

_Slade: It's what I do best._

_Chapter Seven: The Start_

The first thing Raven said when she re-entered the Tower was,

"Aqualad is coming to visit."

Robin looked up from whatever he was doing on the main computer.

"What? Today?"

Raven pursed her lips, making a point to seem indifferent.

"He has business down here tonight. He was wondering if we wanted to meet up."

Cyborg, who'd been stuffing himself with what looked like the contents of an entire packet of bacon, grinned in approval.

"Totally! It's been forever since we kicked the Brotherhood of Evil's butt."

Had it? Raven's memory struggled for a timeline. She had been so focused on _now,_ that she had forgotten what had happened _then._

_How long is forever?_

Starfire's vision of the future had been bleak. Evidently, Raven was fated to spend forever huddled up in some abandoned structure, lost in her own mind.

At the thought of having her emotions as company for the rest of her life, Raven blanched.

_Hey,_ protested Passion._ We're not that bad!_

_Oh, Raven, why not? We could have so much fun!_ Happy's tinkling laughter stung Raven's eardrums.

Lazy shrugged. _Meh. I wouldn't want to spend forever with me either. Though if we're going to spend it all in one place, I'm down._

Jesus, no wonder she would go crazy.

If Trigon had remained in power, that version of the future would have become obsolete. But the Titans had successfully spat in the face of Destiny, returning Earth to it's former beauty.

As a result, Raven knew better than anyone that the future was subject to change. But had Starfire's glimpse of a lonely, empty fate for the Titans set to take place _after_ Trigon's defeat? Had the Titan's victory been pre-determined, leaving the future Starfire witnessed a feasible possibility?

This realization disturbed Raven deeply. She didn't know how many times her name had been called before a faint pressure clenched her shoulder.

Robin's mask was creased at the corners - he was squinting. His hand scrunched the fabric of her cloak.

"Raven?"

She hastily recomposed herself.

"Need to meditate," she explained quietly, shaking Robin off and retreating to her room. There was at least a half hour before the ceremony, not counting the ten minutes she and Cyborg would have to take dragging Beast Boy out of bed. But right now, Raven would take anything she could for a chance at some peace and quiet.

.

As predicted, a new batch of H.I.V.E. graduates attacked a power plant by Jump City's ports. Ironically, Raven noted the area was only a few minutes away from Slade's bay residence; seeing as he'd planted many an attack, bomb, etc in these very docks, he had done so within a few miles of his home.

During the whole Terra ordeal, he'd actually attempted to sink the Titans tower. Thinking of the dank, empty space Slade called his own, it was clear he placed no value on the idea of a home. Raven couldn't imagine not having a place to call her own, let alone be willing to destroy it on a whim.

"Yo, Raven!"

Beast Boy was wriggling in some sticky substance shot out from a sneering H.I.V.E. member. Raven slashed through the goop and tossed a shipping container at said member, who was instantly crushed under it.

"Raven!"

Eyes blazing green, Starfire pointed at something behind her. Quickly, Raven dodged a hulking man with wings, evading his grasp by inches.

"Are you all right, friend?" Starfire yelled in the most worried tone she could adopt while firing starbolts at the hulking man, shooting him out of the air. Raven empathized with Starfire - she personally knew the righteous fury it took to generate the starbolts, yet the alien took the time to ask Raven how she was doing.

_'I see you haven't improved in combat.'_ Slade's words repeated themselves smugly.

"I'm fine," Raven reassured her friend, focusing her energy on a few pieces of stray steel to round up the defeated H.I.V.E. agents. Realizing the battle was over, Starfire floated to Raven's side, smiling brightly.

"Oh, Raven," she beamed, "How glorious is the return of our companion Aqualad? I am so looking forward to pizza and mustard with him!"

She bent her neck sideways, looking at Raven expectantly.

"What?" Raven turned her attention away from their prisoners, all of whom were being secured by Robin on the ground.

"Do you have the crush on our friend Aqualad?"

"No."

But Starfire knew Raven better than that.

"Oh, are you quite certain? Robin said you seemed awfully distracted this morning."

This brought hint of warmth to Raven's cheeks.

"What?"

"Yes, and both Cyborg and Beast Boy agree you have been acting strangely for the past few days. And you do seem to leave the Tower more often than before - "

Raven couldn't believe her ears. All this time, she'd believed she was doing a decent job of keeping her Slade situation under wraps. Now Starfire was saying her effort had been wasted?! The Titans were noticing differences in Raven's behavior. How much longer would it be before they figured out where she was going?

" - and I told Robin of Aqualad's visit during girl's night out, and he said that maybe you two might have the hots for one another, but I assured Robin that Aqualad seemed to be at a normal temperature, although you had been looking a little red, which is bizarre for your complexion - "

Mercifully, Starfire's babbling ceased when they landed on the ground. Cyborg made a pun about the criminals, but Raven only caught half of it. She was far too busy plotting ways to throw her best friends off the scent of her betrayal. If that meant using Aqualad, or even a fictional boyfriend, as a diversion, then so be it.

Anxiety ripped at her insides, fueled all the more by a guilty conscience.

_What now?_

.

Unbeknownst to Raven, only a few miles to the west, Slade was standing in his bedroom. The sheets were long cleaned and tucked neatly back into place. There would be no visitors tonight.

Slade was staring at a slip of paper in his palm. It was incredibly wrinkled, tearing at the edges, yet obviously smoothed out many a time over. The funny thing was, no one could tell if the photograph was a treasured memory or a hateful reminder. The wear and tear could have been the result of adoration or neglect. The world may never know.

But Slade did.

He clenched his fist, mangling the image of the smiling brunette beneath his fingers. Then, without hesitation, Slade rammed the fist into a wall, sinking his apendage and the photograph into the plaster. Wood and paint crumbled around his forearm; Slade remained entrapped in the wreckage, until the stinging of his knuckles grew too irritating to ignore. He pulled his fist out, dusted debris off the picture, then tossed it unceremoniously to the ground.

.

Dripping wet and smelling of sea salt, Aqualad was disappointed he had missed out on the battle.

"I wish I could have helped you guys," he lamented, picking at the edge of his pizza crust. "There were a couple sharks planning to attack some boats they mistook for a rival predator. I had to explain why that wouldn't work out."

Passion sighed contently. Oh Raven, how can you not jump on his philothranpic ass?

"Don't worry about it," Robin waved dismissively, biting into a slice of pepperoni. "The H.I.V.E. was no trouble. But I am concerned about how frequent thier attacks have been..."

"Dude, relax," Beast Boy kicked his legs up on the table. "The baddies are in jail now. Nothin' to worry about."

Rage chuckled at the irony. If only he knew.

"So," Cyborg said. "Any news from Titans East?"

Aqualad grinned. "Nah. Speedy and Bee are always three seconds from killing each other. It's pretty cute."

Beast Boy, who'd developed quite the friendship with Aqualad, sprung to attention. "You mean they're dating?"

"No, no. But Mas and Menos have a bet to see who will confess first."

A burst of pain spread through Raven's calf; she grunted in shock. Across the table, Starfire mouthed a sheepish apology for her alien-strength fueled kick. Nevertheless, the redhead made not-so-subtle gestures towards their handsome friend, who sat one space away from Raven. The space between them was filled by none other than Beast Boy, who was making a show of filling his mouth with crushed red peppers.

_What a mood kill,_ Passion groaned in distaste. _Tell Green Beans to mosey on over to freaking Hell if he wants to experiment with heat._

_"Calm down,"_ Raven shot back, simultaneously annoyed and surprised by Passion's persistence.

_Can't,_ the emotion shrugged. _Not part of my job description. Now, push your boobs out._

Inwardly, Raven sighed. Where was Brave when you needed her?

_I think she went to Happy's place,_ Intelligence reported. _Your nervousness around Aqualad is making her abilities obsolete._

A spasm went through Raven's temple. "_And Happy's floating strawberry garden is going to help with that?"_

_For the record, I voted for a movie theatre that played porn to the hits of the eighties,_ Passion interjected. _But no, Happy just had to get that stupid pink park of crushed dreams._

_Happy is important than you, Passion,_ Intelligence adjusted her glasses. _You're too fleeting._

_Excuse you,_ Passion huffed, indignant.

"So," Robin tugged Starfire closer. "What about you, Aqualad? You seeing anyone?"

Raven pretended not to notice the shifty looks Cyborg and Beast Boy were throwing her and the Atlantis native.

But Aqualad only offered a smile and said, "Not right now, but -"

Dark eyes pierced Raven's own. Her heart made a quivering thump, once.

"I'm definitely open to it."

Passion, who'd been briefly irked by Intelligence's snark, bounced up and down in Raven's psyche. _Did you see that?! Did you hear that?! He's open to it! Raven, he's talking about your garden!_

_Happy's garden?_ Timid asked, clearly confused. Raven wanted to spear herself in the frontal lobe.

_"No,"_ she growled at Passion. "_That's _not_ what he was talking about."_

_Oh!_ Timid's eyes widened with realization. _Raven, is Passion talking about your secret gar -_

Through all this, Raven managed to crack a thin smile, hoping Aqualad would take it as an invitation for courtship. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Passion was quietly humming what sounded suspiciously like Olivia John-Newton's _Let's Get Physical._

_._

Grass tickled the undersides of Raven's thighs as she adjusted her seating. Outwardly, it looked as if she was scooting into the crook of the tree, perhaps for a more comfortable meditative place. But in reality, Raven was trying to get the best vantage point for the Titan's soccer match in Jump City's central park. Aqualad added some variety to the mix, considering it was usually Robin or Cyborg's team that won the game. For a guy who originated from the sea, his coordination wasn't too poor, although he was a bad shot - every ball he kicked towards their makeshift goal would miss.

Sedated by the ample view of male behind, Passion was blissfully silent, leaving Raven's own thoughts to wander. In spite of herself, she wondered what Slade was doing. Was he out and about, enjoying the last bits of pink sunlight? Or was he plotting and scheming and doing the things Raven had always expected out of him?

Her fingers crept into the grass, lacing themselves between the blades. Would it feel the same to him? Did he experience things the way Raven did? Slade had certainly _died_ like a human. After he'd been re-animated, what had life been like? Could he smell, taste, feel?

_Well, he did feel,_ Raven considered grimly. Even dead, he felt greed. He felt duty. He felt desperation.

_We'll be in touch._

The hands of flame had been unlike any pain she'd ever experienced. Not even opening the portal could compare to the searing, white-hot bursts of agony as ancient curses were inscribed into her skin. One thing Raven clearly remembered was that Slade had showed no compassion to her obvious suffering, even as she writhed with anguish in his big, big hands. _No matter how you squirm._

But now, against her better judgement and the ache of old scars, Raven tried her damnedest to sympathize with the man. Why she even bothered, Raven wasn't sure. But her anxiety poked and prodded at the notion, whispering over and over:

_What now?_

Slade himself had perished in lava. He'd died in liquid flame.

_Terra took you down! Way down!_

Not one of the Titans had so much as bothered to search the chapel remains for any evidence of Slade's true identity. None of them informed the city of the casualty. Frankly, none of them had cared if any trace of him disappeared forever.

Yet - as Raven had recently discovered - Slade was a man. He ate. He slept. He owned a house.

And when given the opportunity to live once more, he took it. Hadn't Raven herself taken an opportunity to defeat her father and restart her life, rather than live out her days as a shadow of what she once was?

_Let's just say I'm currently incomplete._

Suddenly, Slade's choice no longer seemed so unfathomable, so evil.

_A pity things didn't work out as planned._

He was a man who wanted to live again.

Was that really so terrible?

_Stop,_ Intelligence warned. _What are you doing? No matter how you look at it, Slade was an evil man. I doubt he's changed much now, if he's changed at all. You shouldn't empathize with him. It's pointless._

The telltale prickle of a headache rippled through Raven's mind. She closed her eyes, cutting off the view of her companions.

_"I'm an empath, Intelligence. It's hard not to _empathize_."_

_I know, _sighed the yellow-cloaked emotion. _But you think about Slade a lot lately. Too often.__  
><em>

_"Really?" _Raven's tone was only half-amused. _"Wonder why that is."_

_You can't afford to be friendly with Slade._

Irritation soured Raven's tongue. _"We have a business arrangement."_

_Things change._

Slade's cold, masked face appeared in her mind's eye. The image flickered, then faded into the stunned, relatively handsome man she saw at the market.

Raven set her jaw.

Yes, they damn well did. She knew that better than anyone.

_What now?_

Raven feared what that would mean for her, for him, for them all.


	8. Chapter 8: The Sometimes

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Thanks for all your reviews! This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but things are really starting to heat up, and the next chapter will be longer. Pinky promise.**

**As I get further into "non-canon territory", if anyone notices something that seems OOC, please let me know. It's a huge pet peeve of mine in other stories, so I want to make sure that doesn't happen in mine.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are always greatly appreciated. Love you all.**

_"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."_

_- Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis_

_Malchior: There's just one more ingredient. A lock of hair from a beautiful girl._

_Raven: Beautiful?_

_- Spellbound_

_Chapter Eight: The Sometimes_

Raven had to wait until nighttime the following day to visit - Aqualad left after their pizza outing, extending an invitation of a visit to the Titan's East tower, which Robin gratefully accepted. It was then a heated debate - both internally and externally - just _how likely _it was for Aqualad to be harboring a secret crush for Raven. Once Beast Boy brought up the possibility that Raven was Aqualad's reincarnated mermaid lover, she had to smack him upside the head in hopes of some sense turning on in that green-haired noggin.

Hence Raven having to sit through an entire day at the Titan's tower before leaving 'for Azarath'. She made a show of shutting herself in her room and chanting gibberish for the Titan's ears, then phasing quietly out of their home. To Raven's disgust, the day had actually been rather boring without the witty (albeit frustrating) dialogue she shared with Slade. While she wouldn't say she had been looking forward to her usual check-up, Raven couldn't honestly admit that she detested the visits either.

_Remember, _Intelligence reminded Raven for the millionth time as she flew toward's Slade's neighborhood. _This is just business._

Internally, Raven nodded, agreeing with the smartest of her emotional counterparts.

_Hey, Smartass, _Passion huffed at her sister. _Keep that non-romantic crap out of Raven's head, mmkay?_

_This isn't a date! _Intelligence protested.

_Not yet, it isn't. Besides, how long did Raven spend checking her butt out in the mirror before we left? If this wasn't at least semi-romantic, Raven wouldn't care what her butt looked like right now._

At this observation, Raven flushed. _"My body is irrelevant to this conversation."_

_Yeah, okay,_ Passion yawned, unimpressed. _Tell me you put on that push-up bra for Beast Boy, and I'll let this whole thing go._

_"I did not wear a push-up bra for Beast Boy!"_

Passion faced the other emotions. _What did I tell you? She's totally into him._

_Oh, no! _Timid wailed.

_Oh, cute! _Happy made a kissing noise.

Lazy eyed them all suspiciously. _This doesn't affect me in any way, right? Like, Slade's not gonna make Raven do some weird, kinky, stamina-driven stuff -__  
><em>

_"Enough!"_

It was one thing for Passion to spread rumors _in her own head, _but it was another for Raven to imagine exactly what kind of weird, kinky, stamina-driven stuff Lazy feared. Hell, _all _her emotions should be afraid of it - or, at least be afraid of her if _anyone _ever asked her to do those things (_Damn it, _grumbled Passion quietly).

Reaching the mansion, Raven walked through the front door, only to be greeted with an indignant, "Stop!"

She blinked, now accustomed to the dim lighting Slade kept his home in. The narrowed, white eyes of a fully-assembled Slade-bot glared at her from only a few paces away.

Instinctively, Raven allowed energy to flare through her veins, prepared for an attack. But when the robot didn't move, she checked herself and, without moving, called out, "Slade!"

_Hehe,_ Happy chortled. _You're calling for Sl_a_-de._

_Not in the way I want her to, _Passion sighed, dissatisfied. Warmth spread just below Raven's stomach, and she clenched her jaw to refocus on the situation at hand.

"J-31, leave us."

Immediately, the Slade-bot whirled to life and lurched away. Slade submerged from the shadows, taking the spot the robot had left.

"My apologies," Slade tilted his head. "J-31 is unaware you are a more..._frequent_ presence here. I will correct the error as soon as possible."

An unexpected shot of happiness rippled through Raven. Alarmed, she suppressed a noise of surprise.

_Wait - _Intelligence panicked, but was gleefully gagged by her purple-cloaked sister.

_Slade is not, _Raven thought dizzily. _Slade is my..._

The word struggled against Raven's mind. It was _'enemy'_, but at the same time it couldn't be _'enemy'_.

He was _still_ her enemy!

_Not mine,_ debunked Passion, her attention brought forth at the sight of Slade. _Come to mama!_

"I appreciate the thought," Raven was able to manage stiffly. "But why do you need a Slade-bot? I've never seen one _talk _before. Tell me that's not another apprentice."

Slade clasped his hands behind his back; although this had been a familiar gesture in the past, Raven noticed that Slade did it more often when it seemed as if he was at an advantage.

"J-31? Of course not. But I've told you before that I require assistance for more menial tasks. My previous help is no longer available. I've given him basic intelligence and communication."

Raven noted that, this time, Slade did not refer to his former help as 'dead'.

"You plan to send out _that_ thing to get your groceries?"

"More or less." She could hear the smirk in Slade's voice, and imagined his bearded mouth tugging at the corners. For perhaps the thousandth time, Raven wondered why Slade continued to keep his mask on. They'd had enough debacles to garner at least a _little_ faith in one another.

_It's probably more a matter of comfort, _was Intelligence's input. _No matter how he harps about being equals, it's likely that he still doesn't feel at ease when you're around._

Riding this train of thought, Raven blurted, "Why couldn't you do it? You could take off your mask and be..."

Slade's silence was enough to dry up whatever she planned to say next. Should she be embarrassed? It had been a fair suggestion - at least, it had been in her imagination. But Raven supposed that telling Slade to be anything other than the masked, dark creature that stood before her was a poor idea.

"Would you still do it, Raven?"

Wait. Stop. Hold the phone. Hold every phone.

"Would you still turn me in, knowing what you do know? That I did save you from your father's wrath? That I did not harm the civilian who spent the night? That, no matter how many times you lift my kitchen sink, I have no weapons in this house?"

Everything was tainted a faint purple. Was this Slade's way of apologizing? If it was, it was a poor attempt.

_What now?_

Resolving to be diplomatic, Raven was careful with her answer. "If I find anything that is intended to hurt my friends in any way, then yes."

Maybe it was her imagination, but the barest hint of disappointment flickered in that onyx iris.

"I expected as much." Slade straightened, expression haughty. "Then you will have to forgive my aversion to, ah, being more open."

An unwelcome twinge of guilt rippled through Raven, and she cringed.

_Stop sympathizing,_ Intelligence sounded alarmed. S_top, Raven._

Yet all Raven was aware of was the scent of velcro and leather, and how Slade's hair flipped this way and that at the ends, like a sea of white waves.

_I'm not creepy. I'm just different._

It had taken the end of the whole damn world for Raven to open up to the people she considered her family. She hardly knew her own mother. Sometimes she couldn't even let herself be open to, well, herself.

_I don't do fear._

Discomfort was a feeling Raven knew all too well. Sharing anything about her innermost self had always been akin to pulling teeth.

So really, Raven did not blame the man. She didn't feel any petty discontent or desire for revenge - i.e., Raven didn't think he deserved it because of the birthday incident or just 'cause or anything like that. Rage was miffed by her lack of aggression.

_You idiot,_ she spat, all four eyes flaring crimson. _Slade should be rotting. He needs to suffer. You can't think of him as human._

But Slade's chest was moving up and down; he needed oxygen, just as she did. If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck...

_Birds._ Raven. He was like a raven. He was like Raven.

Slade's gaze, frozen and strong, flicked down to her mouth.

"What - " she began, just as the crash of footsteps cut her off.

"Master!"

The digital drone of the Slade-bot warbled behind them. Both turned to see the robot slow to a stop.

"Master," the Slade-bot repeated, "Your appointment has been changed. The client needs the delivery tonight."

Slade jerked his head. "Tell him not to bother me right now."

A sinking feeling was drilling itself into Raven's stomach. "Slade - "

"The client is adamant, Master."

"What client?" Raven demanded, facing Slade. "What appointment, Slade?"

He glared at her and began to walk away. "It's none of your concern."

Rage shook the bars of her mental confinement, spitting curses.

"Yes it _is!_"

Claws of dark energy encircled Slade's shoulders and pinned him against the wall. J-31 made a move to attack Raven, but Slade yelled out, "Leave us!" and with that, the robot hunched instantly and crept away.

_Awh, _Happy chortled from out of nowhere. _He's protecting you!_

_No! _Rage hissed. _He's saving his toy from destruction._

_All of you, be_ quiet, _or so help me God, I will stop at nothing to make sure that Raven has_ multiple _children with mother-f'ing Glgrdsklechhh! I will make Raven drive the goddamn T-ship herself into deep space, find whatever planet he's the 'exalted Schlurch' of, and have her hop right on his swampy green behind if you all don't SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!_

Passion's surprisingly horrifying threat was enough to effectively silence all the emotions, including Rage. None of them wanted _that_ particular fate to befall their host. Dimly, Raven debated the authenticity of the warning. If Rage could make her swallow Dr. Light without so much as a second thought, then she was sure as hell Passion could make her wake up next to the slimy green alien that was almost Starfire's husband.

_Damn right I could, _Passion fumed. _Now hurry up and interrogate his sexy ass._

Raven hovered over to her prisoner. Slade didn't appear the least bit frightened, although she could very nearly taste his irritation in the air.

"What is this about, Slade? I trusted you! We agreed - "

"That I wouldn't harm the Titans." His tone was dry. "This arrangement has nothing to do with your friends. How quickly you jump to conclusions, my dear."

"And _I_ told you that if what you're doing harms anyone, even inadvertently, it _would_ be my business eventually."

Slade grunted as he tried to maneuver himself into a new position under Raven's talons. "And _I _asked for a little faith."

"Which I gave you."

"Because _this _is the epitome of trust, isn't it?"

He dragged out the last two words, which bothered Raven 'till no end. Slade's voice was like deep, dark wine, flowing and curving with every syllable; she didn't need another reason he unnerved her.

Something twitched, harder this time, in the pit of her stomach.

Reluctantly, she lowered him to the floor. Slade dusted his arms off mockingly, and Raven folded her arms.

"It seems we are at an impasse."

"It would seem so," Raven agreed darkly. The faint sound of tires squealing against an asphalt road sounded from somewhere beyond the mansion, but could be heard by the two opposing forces all the same.

_What now?_

Slade crossed his arms. "You know, I liked you more when you were afraid of me."

_Silly girl. I'm not the one to be afraid of._

Raven didn't blink. "And I liked you more when Terra turned you to ash."

_Well? Aren't you going to attack? Reduce me to ashes?_

He chuckled, once. The sound was low and haunting.

Again, the two refused to be the first to break the stand. It was frustrating, considering they were both terribly stubborn with one another. Raven had always been somewhat of a passive character, yet something in the man before her made Raven want to pull her hair out and talk forever at the same time.

It was a hushed truth amongst the Titans that Robin and Slade had become such bitter rivals due to the fact that they were too alike.

_Robin, that was vicious, dishonorable, and ruthless. Excellent work. You're becoming more like me every second._

But that was before the End. And things had changed, for better or worse._  
><em>

_I have to say, Raven, when I found out the truth, I was _very_ impressed._

Raven wasn't sure which one it was yet.

All she knew was that she and Slade had been through Hell and back together, literally. And it was becoming rapidly apparent that they had far more in common than he and Robin ever did.

"Come with me."

Raven's heart spluttered. Slade had turned away, breaking the physical stand, yet somehow wrangling the advantage over her. She felt small, smaller than usual.

His eye, glassy and the color of midnight, peered back.

"If you're so vehemently concerned over another's well-being, then come with me. You can witness my work for yourself."

Raven's head was spinning. Never, _never_ in a million years would she have expected this offer. Slade barely admitted her into his _house, _let alone allowing her to witness what was bound to be an illegal business transaction. His generosity made Raven wary - what was he planning?

"Are you coming or not?"

Slade was six paces ahead of her, striding towards the living room. Curiosity and personal duty got the better of Raven, and in spite of her better judgement, she followed Slade.

_What now?_


	9. Chapter 9: The Present

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: I was way too excited to update. This is an important chapter, one I've been dying to write. The ball's finally rolling. Hope it's up to your expectations.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated. I love all of your reviews - I constantly check for more. They make my day. So I hope this chapter is returning the favor.**

_"Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires."_

_- William Shakespeare, Macbeth_

_Raven: Sometimes secrets aren't meant to be shared._

_- Revved Up_

_Chapter Nine: The Present_

"So..."

Raven couldn't find the proper way to word her inquiry as she watched Slade punch a series of digits, letters, and symbols into his laptop. To Raven, the codes were nonsense, and no matter how hard she tried to discern the stream of keystrokes, there were no familiar hacks or viruses - at least, none Raven knew of. But after a few moments, a bright red chip popped out of a slot of the computer.

Slade pinched the little square and held it up for Raven to see.

"This is my current occupation," he explained. "My client came to me seeking a few firewalls and extra security in a computer system."

A cold drip of unease trickled it's way down Raven's spine. "And you're telling me this because...?"

"Child, if I didn't, I am positive you would construe some life-threatening accusation that would only inconvenience us both."

Shame flooded Raven's nerves. Nevertheless, she didn't enjoy the tone he took with her. "I'm not a child, Slade."

He paused, lowering the chip. A bizarre blend of emotions went through her as Slade slowly scrutinized her figure.

"No," he finally conceded. "I suppose you aren't."

Raven couldn't tell if the following silence was awkward or thoughtful. Either way, she folded her arms protectively, hating these new feelings swirling within her.

_What now?_

"You said this is your work _right now_. What else do you do? Robin said you had an old job that was..."

Raven imagined Slade lifting an eyebrow. "I've had a lot of jobs, my dear. You're going to have to elaborate."

Raven ground her teeth, not angry - merely bracing herself for what the answer might be. "He said you've killed people for money. He said you were a mercenary."

When she'd heard Robin's story, Raven hadn't been particularly shocked. After all, it was the big, bad Slade they were talking about. The news hadn't been groundbreaking at the time.

Now, standing only a few inches away from the same man, whose character had most definitely changed - even if it was a minuscule difference - Raven wasn't sure how to react. The old Raven would have dismissed any inkling of change or redemption for a murderer.

_People come, people go._

But this was the new Raven - actually, this was the _new_ new Raven: the one that was cooperating under her own free will and (God help her) empathizing with Slade. Two years ago - hell, even two months ago, Raven would have laughed at the plausibility of this very scenario. What on Earth had transpired in the universe for this to have happened?

_You caught him at a supermarket,_ Intelligence input wryly. _The universe has a dull sense of humor._

She couldn't agree more.

Presently, Slade was unusually quiet; it wasn't a menacing quiet, nor was it a reflective quiet. It was the quiet of avoiding an answer, which always ended up being enough of an answer itself. Raven was vaguely surprised at the lack of a witty reply, some thought provoking series of words that would serve to confuse his opponent.

But Raven wasn't his opponent. And, in spite of all the painful and flame-filled history they shared, she could admit that Slade had changed as well.

"My past is what it is, Raven. You, of all people, can understand that."

Numbly, Raven nodded in agreement. Deep down, she knew she owed him understanding, if nothing else.

Slade said little after that, but Raven got the distinct impression he was grateful she didn't push the matter.

The two got into the sleek black car in Slade's driveway; it's interior was equally dark, with deeply tinted windows to boot. Slade drove them (_This is just weird, _Raven thought hazily as she watched Slade signal right and generally obey traffic laws, save the fact he sped like a maniac) to the docks they were all too familiar with. Puffs of gray factory smoke filtered out of large cylinder-shaped chimneys from nearby factories, tainting the salty scent of the ocean. Street lamps and other industrial light fixtures provided yellow illumination in the night, and the distant _ding_ of a fishing boat sounded every few minutes from across the black water.

"Where are you meeting him?" Raven pulled down her hood, hoping to get a better view of her surroundings without the extra shadow. Still, she saw no slimy-looking businessmen in three-piece suits or tattooed goons with gang money emerge from the shadows.

"Patience." Slade's eye roved towards her. No sooner had the word left his mouth when a limo crept from around the corner, making a wide turn around the warehouse like a four-wheeled centipede. The headlights were white and blinding; Raven squinted, able to make out a fuzzy shape emerge from the car.

"Joseph!"

If it had not been for Intelligence, Raven's jaw would have dropped to the ground. There, in all her trashy glory, was the faux redhead who'd spent the night at Slade's. She looked far more composed this time around, and exuded confidence as she sauntered over to the two of them.

The woman blinked down at Raven. "You brought your housekeeper?"

It wasn't often Raven hated a part of herself, but right now, she desperately wished she was taller. For God's sake, her father was a fifty-stories high _demon__!_ How on Earth had she grown to be shorter even than her mortal mother?!

_Forget that, _harrumphed Passion. _Does this bitch live under a rock? How the hell does she not know who you are? Why does she keep calling Slade 'Joseph'? She better get her ginger behind away from my man..._

For once, Raven allowed Passion to ramble. It was sort of riveting at the moment, to be honest.

"She's not my housekeeper." Slade's tone was a-matter-of-fact. The woman glanced back towards Raven and gave an awkward smile. "Oh. Well, all right then."

She stuck out a hand adorned with garishly long acrylic nails. Slade dropped the red chip into her milky palm.

"Thank you, babe," she chirped. Then, apparently forgetting (or ignoring) present company, she sidled up to Slade's armored chest and began trailing her fingers up and down the breastplate.

"You know," the woman crooned, "if you ever need another _favor_, don't hesitate to call. My door's _always_ open."

_I bet it is. _Raven could sense Passion beginning to plot murder. _Raven, unlock your damn door so this hoe won't ever be a problem again._

Strangely, terrifyingly enough, Passion's logic made crystal clear sense to Raven, which disturbed her 'till no end.

Yet Slade caught the redhead's wandering digits in an unfriendly grip.

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied cooly. An unwelcome surge of delight rushed through Raven when she saw the woman cringe in pain and scamper back to the limo.

Once the echo of screeching tires faded, Slade turned towards her.

"Was there any indication the client was unwell?"

_Yes, _Passion grumbled. _Mentally unwell._

"No."

"Was there any indication that what I did was to harm your friends?"

"I don't know what she's going to use it for," Raven pointed out.

_Homemade porn,_ said Passion wisely. 'Stupid_ ginger takes a finger and shoves it up her - '_

"There's only so much I can do for you, Raven."

Maybe it was the way he worded that phrase, or maybe it was the casual tone of that velvet-rich voice, but it was then and there Raven knew she had a crush on Slade. A prickling sensation spiked all nerves, before a wave of self-loathing slammed into her harder than a hurricane.

All the emotions were rendered silent with this epiphany. Then -

_YES! HELL YES! I TOLD ALL OF YOU! WHAT DID I SAY?! WHAT DID I SAY?!_

_Raven! _Intelligence was beyond disturbed. _What are you thinking - _

_Whoa! _Brave whistled. _That took some balls to admit to yourself, Rae-Rae - _

_WE'RE GOING TO BANG SLADE! WE'RE GOING TO BANG SLADE!_

Timid was sobbing incoherently, not even trying to voice her horror.

_Raven, you fool! _Rage roared. _Your father considered him an insignificant prick! What could possibly posses you to -_

_THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE MOMENT RAVEN FINALLY GOT HER PANTIES OUT OF A TWIST!_

_Yay! Crush for Raven! _Happy proceeded to imitate an airplane, making sure to dodge Passion's elated jumping, screaming, and dancing.

Lazy observed the turmoil of the Nevermore with mild interest, then slumped down for a nap.

_SEX! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX, YOU GUYS! WITH A REAL MAN, TO BOOT, NOT THAT PAPER-ENDOWED LOSER MALCHIOR -_

It was a struggle for Raven to speak through this inner turmoil. She picked the first question that popped into her mind.

"Slade, why did she call you Joseph?"

The _ding! _of the fishing boat rang again, much closer this time.

Slade clenched his hands, yet released them after a few seconds.

"Joseph is the name of someone I consider...important."

A cold breeze fluttered by. Childishly, Raven hugged her arms, too stunned to care. "Slade...what did you get out of that exchange? Money? Land?"

Slade laughed, and the low timbre shook her to the bone. "My dear, I work for favors. Everything I have, everything I own, is because I got it out of a deal."

He turned away, walking back to the car. For a moment, Raven wondered if he was going to leave her there. The thought hurt far more than it should have.

_What now?_

But Slade looked back, a glint of something she couldn't place in that deep, dark iris.

"As for the favor _she_ provided me, you already passed."

.

_Raven's got a crush, Raven's got a crush, Raven and Slade, kissing in a tree..._

If Raven had been well-rested, less hungry, and perhaps in a more healthy state of mind, she would have gagged Happy for her endless chanting and thrown her to the red-eyed ravens. But she was far too lost in her own denial to even order the emotion to shut up; hence, Happy's constant sing-song. It was almost poetic justice.

So Slade had slept with that infernal redhead not just as a convenient way to test Raven's loyalty, but _as an entire business transaction to test Raven's loyalty? _Goddamn, it was such a _Slade _move, but it was oddly endearing in a sick, twisted way, but it was wrong, it was gross, it was...

Typical. It fit his personality to the T.

_T-E-E-N, T-I-T-A-N-S, Teen Titans, let's go!_

"Ugh!" Raven flopped her head into a pillow, which was a very un-Raven move. But apparently, she had a crush on Slade, so why not? Maybe tomorrow she'd laugh at one of Beast Boy's jokes, or try some poisonous Tamaranean dish. If she was feeling particularly in love with her team leader's archenemy, Raven just might have to try a tofu waffle. The possibilities were endless, really.

"I don't like Slade," she told the pillow. Her words came out muffled, and the space where the pillow touched her mouth became hot and uncomfortable.

Raven groaned, and pressed her face in harder, until her nose felt as if it would snap.

"_I don't like Slade._"

_Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that, girlfriend. I know better. _Passion had been all to smug since 'The Revelation'. Quite frankly, Raven was just about ready for that lobotomy.

_"This is all your fault!"_

_Me? _Passion made a horrified face. _Hell no! I was open to just about anyone, honey - _you're _the one who decided she liked Mr. Badass in a Mask._

There was a firm, two-punch knock on her door. Raven wanted to shriek in frustration - that was Robin's way of knocking.

"Raven? Can you open the door?"

Inconspicuously as possible, Raven cleared her throat, assuming her gravely monotone. "No. I'm not in the mood, Robin."

"Raven, I'm worried about you. Can you please open the door?"

It was funny how with the _please, _Raven knew she had no choice but to answer her leader's calls.

Hardly any of Robin's features could be seen in the two-inch gap Raven cracked the door open.

"Raven, you've been acting kind of...different lately. You okay?"

_No._

"I'm fine."

Robin narrowed his gaze. "Are you sure? You can tell me, Raven."

_You wouldn't believe me if I did._

"Everything's _fine, _Robin. Don't worry about me."

In the crack, Robin's face fell. "You know I can't do that. You're my friend, Raven."

Her heart squirmed guiltily. It had been for Robin most of all that she'd entered this bargain with Slade, to preserve his happiness. Now, Raven couldn't help but feel she was about to destroy it.

"It's...complicated."

Robin tilted his head, trying to get more of his face in the space. "Is it about Aqualad?"

Oh, that's right. Her pretend-boyfriend-who-was-also-sort-of-a-crush-maybe? The beginning thump of a headache began to drum on the back of Raven's skull. "Not really."

Realizing Raven was in no mood to discuss whatever was bothering her, Robin backed away from the door. "All right. But if you need me, or any of us, let us know, okay?"

He smiled that charming Robin smile, the one the teen girls of Jump City had plastered on their bedroom walls. But to Raven, it was the smile of one of her best friends, her family.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

_How do you do it, Robin?_

Robin had saved her from the End. Robin had been the one to drag her out of that nightmare.

_Do what?_

And Raven and Slade had been the ones to create it.

_Keep hoping._

Was this how she was to repay him?

_Because of you._

She slammed the door shut before Robin could see the thin streams of tears leaking from each eye.

How dare she betray her family.


	10. Chapter 10: The Then

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Personally, I really like this chapter. Hope you guys like it too.**

**If you guys have any good Slade/Raven fic recommendations, or any good fic recommendations in general, let me know! I need something good to read.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are always appreciated. I adore all of your reviews. They push me forward to write.**

_"She had wandered, without rule or guidance, into a moral wilderness..."_

_- Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter_

_Slade: But honestly - did you think you could just blow the candles and wish it all away?_

_- Birthmark_

_Chapter Ten: The Then_

After Robin, each of the Titans took a turn trying to coax Raven out of her room.

Cyborg had been first.

"Um, Rae? I haven't played chess with ya in a while, and I was wonderin' if you wanted to start a match right now?"

He had been the easiest to dissuade. Cyborg had always respected Raven's privacy, even when her distance bordered on introverting.

Starfire had been next.

"Friend Raven, please come out and join us! We miss you very much, and are growing very worried about you! We could visit the salon of nails, or see a gruesome film while eating unhealthy amounts of buttered popcorn, or - "

It took a full two hours of rambling about activities outside the tower before Starfire realized her friend wasn't going to respond. Raven felt a little guilty about rejecting the alien girl, which only deepened her misery.

Beast Boy was the last one to try. The fact he even came to her door meant the Titans were getting desperate.

"Raven, if this is about me turning into a tadpole in your herbal tea, I'm sorry, okay? It was a bad joke. But don't drag Cy and Star into this! What's your deal? If I have to sit out here all night to get you to talk, then I'm gonna do it!"

Raven gnashed her teeth together, knowing Beast Boy would make good on his word. It's not like the changeling had much else to do, anyway.

"Go away, Beast Boy."

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"It's none of your business."

"It is when you hole yourself in your room and won't _talk_, Raven! C'mon, we're your friends. Whatever it is that's eating at you, it's okay to tell us."

Raven's fingers dug into her gray blankets, pulling them up to her neck. God, why couldn't he just leave her alone?!

"Beast Boy, if you don't leave within the next five minutes, I'm going to send you to another dimension. One where anything green is considered _food._"

It was an empty threat (Raven knew of no such place, otherwise she would have sent the changeling there long ago). But she heard an indignant huff, a couple of angry mumbles, then the stomping away of paw-print sneakers. Relief, shameless and strong, flooded her veins.

Two days ago, Raven had admitted to herself that she felt an attraction to Slade. Two days ago had been the last time she'd seen him, surrounded by the darkness and the scent of the ocean. Raven could almost smell the leather of Slade's armor; she dug her nose into the covers, desperately attempting to rid herself of the memory.

Even though her father was a demon, Raven had a rocky view on the idea of a God.

Now, she would have believed in anything that would make these feelings disappear.

Could the daughter of Hell pray?

It was worth a try.

Wriggling her fingers from the edge of the blankets, Raven pressed them together below her lips, breathing softly and squeezing her eyes shut tight.

"Dear God," she murmured. "I know I'm not the best, er, person. But something horrible has happened to me, and if it isn't fixed, people will get hurt. I don't want to hurt them, God. Can you please...help me? Can you make it go away?"

Experimentally, Raven opened her eyes. The soft patter of oceanside drizzle tapped against her window, soothing and unbothered by the cosmic deal at hand.

She waited.

Nothing happened.

_What now?_

Once more, Raven could feel tears beginning to brim.

.

She had to end things.

Raven struggled the entire flight to Slade's home, fighting every feeling, rational explanation, and emotional protest. Passion was practically pulling her hair out.

"I can do this," she muttered, jerking his door open. Everything about the mansion was too familiar, now. Raven knew there was the slightest of discolorations on one of the concrete steps to the door, knew there was a knick in the edge of the door. She knew too much.

Raven stepped in, quietly.

"Hello?"

"Two days, Raven."

Slade strode out of the shadow, hands clasped behind his back. "It's been two days since you checked in last. I was beginning to think you had fallen ill."

Raven's stomach turned. "More or less."

His good eye studied her. "Next time, I expect some form of notification."

Next time? Raven wanted to punch him, and then herself - anything to release the agonizing tension wound up in her muscles.

"There won't be a next time.

Slade's pupil dilated. "I beg your pardon?

"We're done," Raven repeated tiredly. The words sounded much different out loud than in her imagination. "It's become clear that you pose no threat to the Titans as of now. And until something changes, I don't need to keep checking in on you."

Slade said nothing. Halfheartedly, Raven reached out an empathetic feeler to see how Slade was reacting emotionally, only to hit an mental blockade not unlike her own. She wasn't surprised, though. Slade rarely let his feelings past his own body, with only the occasional angry slip-up. It meant Raven couldn't see any part of him; his past, his future, him.

"May I ask what brought about this...change of heart?"

Damn, he gave away nothing. Slade was frozen, gaze hard, and his tone was cool. They could have just as easily been discussing the weather.

Well, she could be aloof too.

"Circumstance," she replied dully, assuming a bored expression. "This arrangement is simply no longer convenient. It's become pointless."

That was a lie, that was a lie. Her cheeks flushed with warmth, and she detested how uncomfortable it was to be dishonest with him.

"I see."

A certain edge had surfaced in Slade's voice, but it wasn't angry. If anything, it was disturbed, concerned.

But this was _Slade_ they were talking about, and Raven blamed disorientation on the whole thing. He was probably furious with her. Slade did not seem like the type to like change.

Raven started to chew her lip, but stopped herself hastily, remembering the charade.

"Thank you for being so cooperative. If we meet again, I hope it's as friendly acquaintances."

"Friendly...acquaintances." Slade echoed, almost mockingly. Raven swallowed.

"Yes. Goodbye, Slade."

_What now?_

But there was no now. There never would be, not between them.

A quiet ache was persistently thumping within her chest; with a shock, Raven realized it was her heart.

With all the pride she had left, Raven turned heel and left Slade's seaside mansion, forever.

.

_It's for the best,_ Intelligence soothed.

Passion sniffed. _No, it's not! We were so close! But no, Raven had to be the friggin' virgin Mary..._

Raven folded her arms, surveying the scene. The mirror was, indeed, a tool for meditation. However, Raven's current visit into her consciousness was proving to be anything but meditative. All her emotions, save Rage (who, no doubt, was plotting something devious to enact in Raven's worn state), were a mess; Passion was beside herself.

_All I want for Raven is some nice, healthy sex! Is that too much to ask? Is it?_

Happy was uncharacteristically silent - since Raven wasn't happy, she'd been rendered mute.

Lazy, who'd bundled herself into an orange burrito on the dusty gray rock, made a noise of approval.

Timid whimpered, burying her face in her palms. P-please stop. You're making me sad.

True to her name, Passion cried dramatically, _WELL, EX-_CUSE_ ME! I'M NOT SUFFERING AT ALL! GOD, NO! RAVEN!_

Raven put her fingers on her temples. If she was getting a headache now, did that mean her physical body would have one once she left the Nevermore? Or did it mean she was having two headaches at once?

_Stop it,_ Lazy groaned, wriggling in her cloak bundle. _You're over-thinking. It's giving _me_ a headache instead._

_Take an aspirin,_ Brave agreed, rubbing her forehead. Timid started crying again. Happy wilted, saying nothing.

Lord, help them all.

"Look," Raven sighed. "Intelligence is right. This is for the best. It's just...better, okay? I don't even like him."

_Lies!_ Teary-eyed, Passion glared at Raven. _You're lying, and you know it!_

This was getting out of hand. Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. "Seeing Slade was a mistake. I thought it would be good for the team. I didn't want to ruin what we have right now."

Happy lifted her head, the sorrowful, wide-eyed expression contrasting sharply with the bubbly emotion they were all accustomed to.

_But Raven,_ she whispered, no louder than the barest of breezes, y_ou're not happy. You weren't happy when you made the arrangement with him, either._

Happy's words struck Raven with the force of a thousand screams. Like a snake in the brush, Rage materialized beside her ear, breathing heavily.

_You're pathetic,_ she hissed. _You can't even keep yourself together. You can't even answer your own damn question. You have no idea how to make yourself better. Do you want to drag the Titans down with you?_

Normally, Raven would have ignored Rage's insults. But a hot flash of something - just the feeling of _enough_ - cut straight through her. Without a second thought, Raven turned and struck Rage across the cheek.

The Nevermore was silent. Even Passion stopped whining to witness the events unfurling before her.

Rage's four blood-red eyes sparked with flame. Raven could feel the sting of her slap against her own cheek, a leftover burn from her confrontation.

Slowly, Rage exposed two rows of razor sharp, white teeth.

_There she is._

Rage was laughing as she flickered away, leaving a plume of white smoke and seven stunned Ravens behind.

.

After some deliberation, Raven decided to take a few days off to visit her kids. Melvin, Timmy, and Teether were in between monasteries and foster homes at the moment, so she figured the kids could use a break from the system, too. More than once, she'd asked Robin if they could stay at the Tower, only to be met with the same answer: the Teen Titans weren't babysitters.

That was why Robin was most often open to Raven making the occasional visit to her three super-powered children.

This time, however, he seemed apprehensive to the idea of her leaving.

"The H.I.V.E. hasn't attacked for a while now, Robin. You'll be fine without me. And if you need backup, you know the Titans East are always willing to help."

At the thought of Aqualad, Raven became hyper-aware of her own heartbeat.

_Good,_ she thought viciously. _Anyone but Slade. Anyone but Slade._

Robin shook his head, watching from the doorway of Raven's room as she packed her things. "It's not that. We can handle ourselves. It's _you_ I'm worried about."

_It's more than that. I can tell. We have a bond, remember?_

Raven picked up her mind-mirror, deliberating, then stuck it in the book bag that served as a suitcase. "I need some time away, Robin. Nothing you do or say will change my mind."

She could sense worry taint Robin's thoughts. "Is it something we did? Is Trigon coming back? Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

_Tell me what's going on._

Guilt flitted through Raven, and she zipped the bag shut, avoiding eye contact with her leader. "Trigon's gone. It's not you guys. That's all I can say about it."

"Can? Or _will_?"

_Tick-tock, Raven. Time's running out._

Slinging the bag's strap over her shoulder, Raven turned to the Boy Wonder. "My train leaves at three. I have to go."

Robin unwound himself from the door frame and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"If there's any trouble," he said seriously.

Raven offered the tiniest of smiles. "I'll know who to call."

.

The train was fairly empty, it's occupants consisting of mostly mothers and their offspring and a few lucky businessmen on their way back home. A few of them gave her some strange looks - why is a Teen Titan taking a train out of the city - but the stares seemed to pass once the train got moving. Raven found a compartment with only one other person, and she was quick to find seating in the darkest corner. The urban setting was gradually fading away in the blur, being replaced with shrubbery and a greener landscape.

Raven sighed. This was the first moment of peace she'd felt in a long time.

Pulling out her communicator, she signaled Melvin's own. After two rings, a round, blonde face popped up on screen.

Raven smiled. "Hey, Melvin."

"Oh, hi, Raven!"

"How's my favorite group of heroes?" (Dimly, she remembered Slade saying the same thing to her at their first meeting, and cringed)

"Bad," reported Melvin baldly. "Timmy got some chocolate ice cream on his blanket, and now he won't stop crying."

She turned the camera to Timmy, who was shrieking and moaning while clutching his favorite thing in the world. Indeed, Raven could make out a large, dark stain embedded in the blankets blue fabric.

"Have you tried washing it?"

The lens panned back to Melvin, now accompanied by the huge, grinning mug of Bobby.

"Four times. Foster lady said if he doesn't stop crying soon, she's gonna kick us out. Can she do that, Raven?"

A pang of anger wrenched through Raven's heart. The woman's threat was an empty one, because legally, she wasn't permitted to release the children until the time came to transfer them to their next home. But Raven hated the woman for scaring Melvin all the same. Nobody messed with her kids.

"I'll talk to her," Raven reassured the girl, barely managing to hide the threatening note in her tone. Melvin's face went lax with relief.

"Good, 'cause Teether would probably chew up junk on the streets. He's going through a trash phrase."

"A trash phrase?"

An image of the toddler riffling through the garbage lit up the communicator's screen.

"Oh, a trash _phase_." Then, "Teether!"

At the sound of Raven's voice, the baby poked his head from the bin, a crumpled soda can wedged in his mouth.

"Put that down!"

Teether obeyed, scrambling to the communicator shouting, "Way-way! Way-way!"

"Hey!" Melvin's voice protested as the picture shook back and forth. "Give it! I'm talking to Raven!"

Timmy's wails could be heard once more, and after a few seconds of scuffling, Raven's communicator filled with gray static. She sighed again. God knew Raven loved those brats, but if she wasn't careful, they were going to be the death of her.

Raven snapped the communicator shut and straightened her posture. Maybe she could wiggle in some meditation into the hour-long train ride. Crossing her legs and bowing her head, Raven found her center.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

She was feeling better already.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion - "

"Zinthos?"

Raven's eyes flew open.

A handsome, white-haired man with a black eyepatch smirked down at her.

"Mind if I join you?"


	11. Chapter 11: The When

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Thanks for your reviews! I'm starting to feel kind of down again, and even though I write for my work, this story is one of the few things keeping me sane right now. The fact that you guys are supporting it makes it so much more worth it.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. as always, are greatly appreciated.**

_"I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea;"_

_- Edgar Allen Poe, "Annabel Lee"_

_Raven: And this guy...Slade...came after me..._

_- Hide and Seek_

_Chapter Eleven: The When_

"What - "

"You really ought to update your system's firewalls," Slade cut Raven off, sliding into the seat opposite her. "Cyborg's programing is growing lax."

Anger flushed Raven's cheeks red. "You shouldn't be here."

"Your manners are astounding." Slade folded his big, gloveless hands on the table between them. "How about a polite 'hello'?"

Raven had half a mind to break the window beside her and hop out of the moving train. At least she'd die, rather than be subject to the very source of her nightmares.

Passion, however, had a very different take on the matter at hand.

_Slade, baby!_ She squealed gleefully. _I'm so sorry about this frigid hoe. I promise, she'll never be stupid enough to leave you again!_

Raven's fingernails dug into her palms, breaking skin.

"No," she spat. "You had no right to follow me."

Slade lifted a snowy eyebrow.

"Dear girl, when I enter an agreement, I never do so lightly. So when the other half of an agreement very rudely tells me that she will no longer hold her end of the bargain, without good cause, I will not be dissuaded so easily."

"I told you if we met again, it could be under friendly terms!"

"Because this is the friendliest reunion I've ever had."

Raven stopped herself. Slade sat back, all traces of smugness erased from his features.

"Mind you, Raven, it is very rare I consider someone worthy of being my equal. Given our, ah, _history_ together, I figured you'd at least earned the opportunity to prove yourself to me. Never had I expected you to go far beyond the expectations I'd set for the girl who ran away from her destiny."

The quiet hum of the train, once so relaxing to Raven's ears, was now warped and eerie.

"So, Raven, don't look so surprised at my being here. You were all too quick to disrespect me. Why shouldn't I return the favor?"

Rage hissed a curse in his direction.

"Fine," Raven grit her teeth. "_Sorry_."

His bearded mouth tugged at the corners as he chuckled. It was a low, familiar sound.

"My dear, do you really think I'd be satisfied with _that_ poor excuse of an apology?"_  
><em>

"On second thought, I'm not sorry."

_And you're a jerk._

Slade laughed, far too amused for Raven's tastes. God, it was strange to see his face again. Raven desperately wished he put his mask back on; she hated being reminded that Slade was, indeed, just a man.

_Just a man?_ Passion scoffed. _Please. If you took off his pants, I bet he would be _quite_ the man. In fact, I'd be willing to bet all of Happy's stupid garden that Slade is the ultimate man - _

"Your father said many things about you, Raven. Time and time again, I wonder why he never mentioned your _delightful _sense of humor."

Butterflies burst from their cocoons and swarmed Raven's stomach. Stiffly, she readjusted her legs so that they were crossed, rather than expose a _certain area_ while she'd been in a meditative pose. "Trigon didn't know me. He never did."

Slade smirked once more, crinkling the skin around his good eye. "That makes two of us."

Raven didn't know if he was referring to himself and Trigon, or to himself and _her. _Either way, it was not good.

_Quite the man, _Passion reiterated smugly. _Why else do you think he's so damn cocky? Pun not intended._

_Yeah, right. _Intelligence glowered at her sister. Passion shrugged innocently, but there was a mischievous glint in her gaze.

Raven prayed to any deity willing to listen that, if they were out there, to strike her dead right then and there. _That_ would definitely silence the emotions forever.

No longer furious, but still incredibly annoyed, Raven took the time to survey Slade's normal appearance. He had a black long-sleeve on, which stretched perilously over his broad shoulders, and equally dark jeans. Frankly, it wasn't much of a stretch from his regular uniform.

Yet she couldn't get over how _good_ he looked. Raven had been only vaguely aware of Slade's attractive features the last time she'd seen his bare face; now, she was dazzled by how handsome he was. Sure, he was much older than she, but it didn't stop the man from looking like a freaking eyepatch advertisement. In fact, Raven (grudgingly) thought that if it wasn't for the missing eye, Slade could have a decent career as a male model.

_Amen to that, sister,_ Passion made finger guns and pretended to shoot them in agreement. _Why he chose a life of evil is beyond me. Evil doesn't have photo shoots or opportunities to get naked. And of _course _he had to pick a costume where we couldn't see his damn face._

"So," Raven folded her arms. "What do you want from me?"

_Your V-card, _suggested Passion.

To her surprise, Slade simply shrugged. "I'm keeping my options open. Until then, I'll be around to collect."

She couldn't believe her ears. "You're going to _follow _me until you figure out what you want?!"

"More or less. At least, until your trip with the children is over."

Heat rose to Raven's cheeks. Of course he knew about them. What else was new? "Don't you dare hurt my kids."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Slade was enjoying this. Smugness radiated from every pore in his broad-shouldered body.

Inwardly, Raven groaned. Outwardly, she rolled her eyes.

Slade raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"It's just...you're _Slade._ We've been fighting for years. Back then, I used to be _afraid_ of you. It's...different to hear you say you're _not_ going to hurt someone."

Slade blinked, looking slightly taken aback. But he recomposed himself quickly, expression smoothing over within seconds.

"Well, my dear, that was then. This is now."

_What now?_

Raven allotted herself one tiny smile. It was the closest answer she'd gotten to that damn question so far.

.

There were a lot of things Raven could imagine Slade doing. Plotting, definitely. Scheming, check. Working out, yes. Trying to take over Jump City, been there, done that. Even something like sleeping, although a stretch, was a possibility.

Never, never _ever_, could Raven imagine Slade doing anything with children. Hell, half the time, Raven couldn't imagine _herself_ doing anything with children. Between the two of them, Raven feared for the fate of anyone under the age of thirteen.

Panicked, Raven checked the overhead clock. Only ten minutes until they pulled into station, where the foster woman was supposed to hand the children off to Raven for a few days.

"How much do you know about my kids?"

Slade twisted the cap off of a water bottle from the train's food service. The plastic crinkled and dented under his grip, reminding Raven of broken bones.

"Not much. I know they were an assignment for you a few months ago, and that you've gone back regularly to check in on them." He smirked, putting the bottle's spout to his lips. "That seems to be a pastime of yours, doesn't it?"

Embarrassed, Raven blushed, then wished for the darkness of her hood. "I like to make sure things stay in place."

Slade's Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. Passion watched it move with a morbid fascination.

_Take__ me,_ she whispered huskily, forgetting she was only a disembodied figment of Raven's personality.

The train was beginning to slow. Remembering her previous fear - i.e., Slade being himself and scaring her kids senseless - Raven leaned across the table.

"Slade, please tell me you have experience with kids. One of them's just a baby, and the another - "

"I have children." Slade cut her off calmly, placing the cap back on his beverage. A faint ringing sound was crawling through Raven's ears.

"_You_ have _children?_"

This opened a whole _new _can of worms! Forget the fact he was Slade, the Big Bad Wolf who'd blackmailed Robin into employment, tried to control Terra's body, and worked for her demon father just so he could save his own skin (pun intended). But somewhere, maybe not too far away, there were Slade _juniors_ running around?! Slade said he had child_ren_, plural - how many? How old were they? Did they know about their father's criminal life?

_Is he married?_ Passion gasped. _Who's the mother? Is it that brunette? I bet it's that brunette! Sweet mother of Jesus Christ, did you see that woman's hair?! Raven, for the millionth time, grow your damn hair out! I think Slade likes it!_

Recalling her long hair after the birthday incident, this thought bothered Raven more than she would have liked it to. But Passion brought up some good points.

"Slade," she said carefully. "Who is the mother - "

A pleasant _ding!_ rang out just before the doors opened. Raven only heard a delighted shriek before being thrown back onto the ground.

A pinched-faced redhead whimpered above her. "R-Raven?"

_Here we go,_ groaned Lazy.

"Um, Timmy?"

Raven's vision was suddenly eclipsed by a piece of blue fabric.

"B-blanket! R-r-ruined! Wah!"

"Shh, Timmy," Raven plucked the frizzy-haired boy off her chest, getting off the floor. "We'll fix your, ah, blanket. Okay? But you need to stop crying."

Pacified, Timmy stuck a thumb in his mouth and cradled the blanket with the utmost care. Together, the three walked off the train and into the crowd of the station.

It didn't take long for them to be found.

"Are you Miss Raven?"

Raven turned to find a stumpy woman with Teether hanging off of one hand and Melvin hanging off the other. Bobby, unbeknownst to the occupants of the station, loomed behind the party of three.

"Yes?" Raven glanced at Melvin, who nodded in confirmation. This was their foster mother, although Raven could sense that she was anything but motherly.

The pudgy woman peeled Teether off her and handed the baby to Raven. "These kids are a handful, honey. I almost had to call the cops. Don't let the baby near the trash, he'll chew through it all. Took me forever to clean it up."

Annoyance burst through Raven, and she clutched Teether closer. "Didn't you think about taking him to the hospital?"

The woman blinked her small, watery eyes. "Well, no, hon. These kids here are super-kids, they've all got powers -"

"If I learned my infant son had been consuming garbage while in the care of an adult," Slade cut in darkly, stepping forward, "I would make sure to punish the caretaker to the fullest extent of my power."

What. The. _Hell._

Raven's jaw dropped, something it didn't do often. Slade was being...paternal? Or Slade? Paternal Slade?

_Whatever it is, it's turning me on._ Passion licked her lips. _I will have that man's babies. I'll make better babies than whoever made his old ones._

Now the woman was spluttering, clearly flustered. "Are you threatening me, sir? This isn't your business! I ought to call security!"

"Please do," Slade folded his arms, not seeming the least bit worried. "While they're down here, we can have a nice, long chat about your own admission to neglecting these children."

Pudgy shrunk under Slade's scrutiny. For a man with only one eye, he had one hell of a death look.

"Have a nice day, Miss," the woman mumbled, letting go of Melvin and bumbling away. Once she was out of sight, Melvin perked up and hugged Raven's thigh.

"Raven! You came to our rescue!"

Raven smiled, ruffling her blonde pigtails. Happy bounced up and down, doing her duty. "Hey, kiddo. I'm glad to see you too."

Teether unwound himself from Raven's neck to stare at Slade.

"Pirate," he declared wisely, much to Raven's horror.

"Er, no, Teether, not a pirate. This is, uh, Slade."

Not knowing what else to do, Raven turned the babe towards her former archenemy. She couldn't help but feel like she was feeding Teether to a lion.

But unmasked Slade was proving once more that he was different than the masked one. Without any pomp or menace or anything negative, Slade smiled gently at the baby.

"Teether?"

The toddler recognized his name, and giggled merrily in response.

Something was tugging on her cloak.

"Raven?" Timmy demanded, pointing to Slade. "Who's the big man over there?"

"Pointing's rude, Timmy. And his name is Slade."

Timmy glanced between the two oldest people in their party. "Is he your dad?"

"No."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

_Yes,_ replied Passion.

"Timmy," Raven warned, ignoring the new colony of butterflies in her stomach. Realizing his error, Timmy stuck his thumb back in his mouth.

Melvin did not seem bothered by the tall, bearded man before her. "Nice to meet you, Mister Slade. I'm Melvin." She gestured to her enormous teddy-bear companion. "This is Bobby."

Slade nodded once in the girl's direction, than again in Bobby's. Raven's heart did a somersault. Could Slade see Bobby?

"Bobby's real," she offered wisely, grinning at Melvin.

A small smile pulled at Slade's lips, but Raven wasn't sure whether or not it was an act. "Yes, I can see that."

Bobby squinted at the man, then beamed. Still, Slade made no indication of noticing Melvin's friend.

By now, Raven couldn't imagine Slade lying about having kids. It took special, God-given skill to tolerate the darling presence of pre-adolescents. Slade was behaving like...like a parent. Like a good parent, at that. It was almost too much for the eyes.

Something very maternal within Raven crooned in delight. Looking back, she supposed it wasn't surprising - Arella was persistent in her attempts to form a relationship with her, in spite of the advice of the Azarath monks. Raven was not a warm, fuzzy, motherly type, yet right then and there, she was overwhelmed by the desire to make pancakes and read bedtime stories to the four of them.

_Unless you want them dead, I recommend ditching the pancake idea,_ Intelligence advised, ever so helpful. _Also, wasn't the last story you told them about your birthday?_

Raven started. That was right. She'd actually told the kids about Slade during their first night together. Had he been that important, that significant to her, even back then? It had been the first memory that had came to Raven; this seemed important, somehow, and the slightest bit of unease yawned in her stomach.

And while she highly doubted Teether and Timmy remembered 'this ugly guy Slade with a skeleton for a face', Raven was growing suspicious of how often Bobby was whispering into Melvin's ear, and how Melvin would stare at Slade before stifling giggles.

_Ugly! _Passion cried dramatically. _Oh, R__aven. So naive._

Behind them, a clock chimed. Raven took note of the deep orange sun outside the windows of the station.

"Let's get moving. I have reservations at a hotel close by. We need to check in before six."

.

Two children under the age of nine, a teething toddler, a purple-haired teenager, and a full-grown man with only one eye would be bound to get some looks if they were separate entities on their own.

But all together in a single party, checking into a remote hotel at the end of the day? Forget it.

Eventually, Raven had to levitate a potted plant and show her communicator to prove that yes, she was an enforcer of the law, and yes, these were special circumstances, and no, this one-eyed man was not holding them against her will, and no, she would not blink twice if they needed to call the police. Even then, the hotel concierge wrote his personal number on Raven's room key, giving her instructions on how to get to the nearest police station out of the corner of his mouth. No doubt, Slade must of noticed the concierge's obvious relief when he booked a room adjacent to the other four, rather than bunking with them. A passing maid made very deliberate comments about how often she came by to check the rooms, and that should Slade not be in the room when she came by, she would keep coming back to make sure he was receiving the _best possible service._

It almost made that run-down, dank house they'd slept in while on the run from the Brotherhood of Evil a pleasant memory.

"They think Mister Slade is a mean man?" Melvin peered curiously up at Raven when the piled into the elevator.

"They don't understand." Raven explained, gaze flicking to Slade's briefly. Much to her disappointment, his expression betrayed nothing.

"Understand?"

Raven hoisted Teether higher up against her shoulder. "That Slade is a friend."

God, it was exhilarating and disturbing all at once to say those words.

From the corner of her eye, Raven could have sworn Slade's mouth pulled into a smirk.

Timmy pulled his thumb out of his mouth and sniggered, "_Boy_friend!"

"No, Timmy," she corrected testily. "Stop saying that."

Bobby, who was squished in the corner of the elevator, hunched over to mutter into Melvin's ear.

"Bobby says Mister Slade should be your boyfriend."

_Bobby is wise beyond his years,_ said Passion, nodding seriously.

Slade chose that moment to let out a single, amused chuckle. For the second time that day, Raven contemplated suicide.

"Melvin, tell Bobby - "

"Bobby also says you need to stop lying."

This comment threw Raven for a loop. Dumbfounded, she blurted, "To who?"

The elevator chimed. It's doors slid open to reveal their floor.

Melvin smiled brightly, unaware of how on point she was. "You."

Then she took Bobby's gigantic paw and Timmy's free thumb, towing them out of the lift and not realizing the impact of her insight was having on both the teen and adult she left behind.


	12. Chapter 12: The Later

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: In my opinion, this isn't one of the more interesting chapters, but it does move the plot along. You've been warned. Please bear with me.**

**I probably won't update again until Sunday or Monday, at the earliest. Life and all that jazz.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are always appreciated. Thanks so much for your reviews - I wish I could cut them all out and put them on my bedroom wall. This community is incredibly supportive, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. Lots of love from my end.**

_"I have not the pleasure of understanding you."_

_- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice_

_Slade: But you're only delaying their pain, and yours._

_- The Prophecy_

_Chapter Twelve: The Later_

_If I were you,_ said Lazy, watching the children bounce up and down on one of the two queen sized beds in their room, _I would leave 'em here and bunk with Slade. Less stress. More sleep._

_"You're forgetting your sister,"_ Raven replied grimly. _"Passion would never let me sleep if I shared a room with any man."_

Hearing this, Passion shrugged compliantly. _Guilty as charged. Although, I think I've been pretty faithful to Slade lately. Which is good, because I'm having his children._

_"Someone beat you to it."_ Raven retorted, unable to keep the tiniest hint of bitterness out of her thoughts.

_Well then, it's a fine time to see if he can still produce offspring. I'm all for multiple trial runs. And if it doesn't work out, well then, can't say we didn't try. Too bad, so sad._

_Teehee,_ Happy snickered, blushing five shades of crimson under her pink hood. _You're just in it for the...sex._

_No, really?_ Lazy glared irritably at her sister. _We had no idea._

_Hehe,_ replied Happy, unabashed.

Raven envisioned a large metal pick smashing through the Nevermore, which shut the emotions up pretty quickly. The threat of lobotomy was one Passion even feared, perhaps more than abstinence (later, Passion would clarify that no, abstinence was her number one fear because _'you can still be a vegetable and get it on, think of how many stupid people reproduce every year'_).

The hotel room was painted a neutral shade of beige, and was adorned with a few equally-neutral fixtures and pieces of artwork. There were two beds: one for the three kids, and one for Bobby. Raven's designated mattress was the pull-out one in a couch adjacent to a small television. She didn't mind; deep down, Raven felt somewhat guilty about neglecting Bobby on their first journey together, and had the urge to make it up to the enormous bear.

"So," Raven said, yanking the children off the mattress, "What do you want to do?"

During Raven's last visit, they spent some time in Jump City, where it was easy to captivate all three babes with shopping outlets and movie theaters. The time before that, she'd taken them camping, which proved to be somewhat of a repeat of the whole Brotherhood of Evil fiasco, minus a talking gorilla. This time, however, Raven had run out of ideas for entertainment.

Their hotel was perched in a smaller town by the station, sort of a cross between the suburbs and a rural area. She'd contemplated taking them for a local ghost hunt, but considering a watered-down version of her apocalyptic birthday had proved to be too scary, Raven doubted anything paranormal would be an option.

So why not ask the kids what they wanted to do?

"Roller-coaster!" screamed Timmy.

"Build-A-Bear!" exclaimed Melvin.

"Wah!" said Teether.

Bobby just grunted.

Oh, right. That's why she hadn't asked the kids.

Vaguely, Raven wished Slade was here with her. As much as she loved her kids, and as much as she couldn't believe Slade had experience in childcare, she couldn't deny that he was proving to be a calm, collected individual around them.

_Well,_ Raven corrected herself, _not that Slade isn't already _that_ way._

Still, she could use any help Slade would offer.

"Hang on just a minute, okay guys?" Raven said, halfway out the door. "Timmy, don't let Teether in the trash. Melvin, call housekeeping and see if they can get the stain out of Timmy's blanket."

Bobby lifted one of Melvin's blonde pigtails and muttered something incoherent in her ear.

"Bobby says - "

"Not now," Raven interrupted, afraid of what freakish insight the bear would have, and slammed the door shut.

_Relax,_ soothed Brave. _You can do this._

"Don't be ridiculous," Raven puffed her cheeks and then let out the air. "Of course I can do it."

Deliberately and with all the confidence she could muster, Raven took two steps to the left and knocked on Slade's door.

_Want me to sing something to pump you up?_ Passion asked gleefully, biting her tongue and practically shaking in her boots with excitement.

_"No."_

Nevertheless, Raven could hear a faint, hummed rendition of what sounded suspiciously like the theme of Mission Impossible.

Raven stared blankly at the digits of Slade's room number until they blurred over. She inhaled, then exhaled. This was pointless. Raven had known the man for years. Hell, he'd been close to seeing her naked (which, despite her current feelings, she was still not happy about).

_I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid!_

Bravely, Raven lifted her fingers, only to have the door swing open before her. Slade leaned himself in the open frame, peering down at her blushing form.

"Um, how did you - "

"For such a quiet girl, Raven, you are not the epitome of stealth."

Heat, heat through her whole body. "I wasn't going for stealth."

"Clearly. Your pacing shadow made _that_ much obvious."

Raven made a face. Slade raised a thick, white eyebrow.

"Is something the matter?"

Damn. That's right. She was here for children. Innocent, G-rated youngsters.

"The kids all want to different things."

Smirk. "You want my help."

_Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help._

"Usually, I get suggestions from Beast Boy or Starfire. But I left kind of, um, suddenly."

Slade made an amused noise. Raven was close enough to smell leather and male-ness, which almost made her give in to Passion's constant advice to jump his bones.

"Do you have a deck of cards?"

Tugged back into reality, Raven managed to shake her head no.

"They'll have them at the gift shop downstairs. Come back in ten minutes."

Stunned, Raven could only nod, and made her way downstairs. Slade had been right; the hotel had decks of cards available for sale, each package customized with the hotel logo. Raven purchased one and went upstairs, mentally rehearsing a speech to make Crazy Eights sound like a much more entertaining game than it really was.

When she opened the door, Raven nearly had a heart attack upon seeing Timmy, Teether, and Melvin seated on the sofa with Slade. All eyes were fixated on the television screen, which was playing a cartoon of a rabbit.

"Hi, Raven!" Melvin waved. From his spot on the bed, Bobby waved too. "Wat'cha got there?"

Slade's attention was kept on the program. Timmy, who was sitting on his right, grabbed Slade's elbow and was not punched in the jaw.

"Cards," Raven said, eyeing Slade dumbly. "How did he get in?"

"Knocked," Melvin replied. "Bobby said it was okay to let him in."

God damn. Raven wanted to smack herself. What a great caretaker she was.

"Okay, Melvin, I know Bobby means well, but next time, don't open the door for anyone but me."

Bobby's grin fell.

"Why, Raven," Slade's good eye roved to her, glinting wickedly. "You're no fun at all."

"Yeah!" Timmy agreed, still clutching Slade's arm.

_Kill me,_ Intelligence said hollowly. _I don't know what's what anymore._

_I do,_ said Passion. _Im'ma hit that fine piece of parental potential over there. Poke a hole in that condom, Raven, he's a keeper._

_"I can't believe this,"_ Raven thought desperately. _"He abused Terra! He took over Jump City!"_

_That was then,_ Passion replied. _This is now._

"I just can't believe it's the same man."

Slade's white hair glinted in the lamplight as he stood. "Did you get them?"

Nodding, Raven handed the deck over to him. Their fingers brushed in passing, and every nerve in Raven's hand lit up like a Christmas tree.

His good eye lingered on her for just a second too long.

In the back of her mind, a tiny, tiny voice reminded Raven that Slade was only here because he was intent on collecting a favor. If she continued to grow close to him, who knew what he might ask of her.

Raven mulled this over, sensing the truth in it and reason for worry.

Then, in a very un-Raven way, told the voice to shut the hell up before she mended Eight-Eyes and sent him after it.

A squeal of delight dragged Raven from her thoughts. The cards were splattered on the ground, with Timmy and Teether hunched over a select few. Ironically, Raven saw that the boys weren't playing a traditional game, but stacking the cards into a little tower.

_It must be a testosterone thing,_ Intelligence suggested faintly, also thinking of Beast Boy and Cyborg. Although Raven was glad they were having fun (Melvin was still watching television), she couldn't scrub a hallucination of Beast Boy and Teether carefully assembling a card structure, together.

Slade must of noticed the disgust in Raven's face, because he told Timmy that if they could get the cards to reach the height of the couch, she would have to join the game.

.

_You're forgetting who he is,_ growled Rage as Raven took some time to herself in the hallway outside the room. _You're forgetting what he's done in the past._

"I haven't forgotten," Raven replied dryly, honestly.

_The time he infected you with blood cell probes? The time he sent Terra to push your buttons? The time he punched you through Robin's _imagination?

Raven's resolve wavered. God, he had a lot on her. Even without the End, there had been many a opportunity where he'd hurt her or the Titans. A twinge of old anger twisted Raven's stomach - her team was her family, the reason she'd emerged from the ashes and saved the world. They were her everything. She would do anything for them.

_What now?_

Yet something about that reasoning did not sit well with Raven as it once did.

Could your reason for living, breathing, and fighting for goodness...change?

_I was protected by the monks of Azarath._

Cyborg. Starfire. Beast Boy. Robin.

_I was raised by my friends!_

Raven.

_And you are not welcome here!_

Back then, those words had been directed towards Trigon. They'd seemed so clean cut, so obvious.

Now, who was it that was unwelcome in Raven's life? Slade, the man who'd made her family suffer for two years, yet was becoming a source of unexpected happiness and freedom? The Titans, a group of peers who'd given her a home and saved her from the ultimate darkness, yet were beginning to fade in the backdrop of Raven's world?

_What now? What now? What_ now?!

Raven slammed her hands to her temples, praying for the answer. Sadly, it didn't come.

The Titan's jingle startled Raven out of her frustrations. Sighing, she pulled out the communicator and flipped it open.

Aqualad smiled brightly back at her. "Hey, there."

Raven waited for the blush to creep over her cheeks, for her heart to pitter-patter. She was surprised when no such reaction came.

Still, it was nice to see him. "Hey."

"Long time, no see. I tried calling the Tower first, but Robin said you were away, and he wouldn't tell me why."

Silently, Raven mentally thanked Robin for not elaborating. "Um, yeah. I'm just with some, uh, family."

The word couldn't have been farther from the truth, but it slipped out anyway.

Aqualad's expression eased. "Oh, that's good. I thought maybe you were in trouble."

_You have no clue,_ she thought wryly.

"So, is there something you need?"

A shade of color pinched Aqualad's pale complexion. "Um, yeah, actually. I would've done this in person, but since you're not in Jump City..."

_He wouldn't,_ Passion gasped.

"Raven, would you be my date to prom?"

_He did,_ Passion mouthed, looking torn between elation and the desire to commit to one man. _He asked you out -_

"To prom?" Raven echoed dubiously.

Aqualad was looking uncharacteristically flustered, and kept combing his hair back. "Yeah, um, remember when I told off those sharks before I came to visit?"

"Vaguely."

"Well, I had to warn the guy who was on the boat to stay away from the area, and he told me how grateful he was, and I said 'anytime', and, well..." he sighed. "Turns out he's the principal of a high school in Jump City, and they were desperate for some chaperones. So I kind of offered to help out."

_You've got to be kidding me,_ spat Rage.

_Oh, Raven, say yes!_ sparkled Happy. _I've always wanted to dress up all fancy for prom!_

Usually, Raven didn't mind the fact she was not enrolled in high school. However, there was a time or two where she would think about the experiences she was missing, and wished she could have gone.

This was not one of those times.

"Uh - "

"Please, Raven?" Aqualad's gaze was pleading. "I know it's weird, but I don't want to back out now -"

"Where is it at?"

"It's on a yacht docked by Washington Bay."

If it was been possible for Raven to internally combust, she would have. Deja vu was slapping her repeatedly in the face.

"Is it a 'Date with Destiny'?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"The student body needs to be a little more creative in picking venues and themes."

An awkward silence filtered through the transmission.

_Don't you dare!_ threatened Rage.

_Pretty please?_ begged Happy.

Passion, who'd become the most vocal emotion as of late, had been rendered speechless at the conundrum before her.

A vision of Arella taking pictures as Raven posed in front of a limo popped into her imagination. Trigon was holding back tears while simultaneously giving a well-dressed Aqualad the evil eye. But when she blinked, it was Slade, mask-free, smiling down at her and pulling a corsage around her wrist.

_What now?_

Raven swallowed thickly, knowing what she wanted and what was best.

"Okay. I'll go with you."


	13. Chapter 13: The End

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: This is it. I hope I've paced the story accurately enough that this chapter and the characters' behaviors seem realistic. But here it is.**

**And for anyone worried about the events that take place, I promise I will rationalize them in the next chapter (yes, in spite of the chapter title, this is not the end of the _story_). But if you think any behavior seems OOC, let me know. Like I said, I'll be clearing up some things in the next chapter, but if you still feel that way, feel free to comment about it.**

**Thank you, everyone. Your support has been amazing. I love you all.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are always greatly appreciated.**

_"All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly, I should add..."_

_- Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita_

_Slade: I have to say, Raven, when I found out the truth, I was _very_ impressed. All this time, I had no idea - the power lurking inside you. The glorious destiny that awaits. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?_

_- Birthmark_

_Chapter Thirteen: The End_

Luckily for Raven, the card deck never did reach the top of the couch. She tucked them in at nine, Bobby included. Housekeeping did manage to get the stain off of Timmy's blanket, and the gang of little heroes concluded their day.

But it was an entirely different matter for the pale-skinned Titan and the man who was once her enemy.

"Still no idea on what you want from me?" Raven asked dubiously as she walked Slade all of three paces to his room.

"My dear, there are a lot of things I want from you. I simply haven't picked one to ask for."

Slade's expression was fairly clean, but God damm, the deep tenor voice made everything sound sexual. Raven was ashamed of herself, and flushed.

"Fine. Thank you...for helping out."

Slade folded his arms. For a moment, Raven thought it was her cue to leave.

Then, out of nowhere,

"Raven, why were you so adamant on keeping my return a secret from the Titans?"

Silence.

"I am not a fool, Raven," he scolded, eye narrowing testily. "I know you would not have made such a decision without your friends being the motivating factor. At the library of Scath, you demanded I keep them in the dark about the prophecy. When we destroyed the world, out of every living being on Earth, you chose to save them."

_Leave them out of this._

A twinge of an unnamed emotion wobbled through Raven's veins at the word 'we'. The sensation was neither pleasant nor was it uncomfortable; it simply was.

Raven cleared her throat, considering an attempt to evade the question. But she was tired, so damn tired of secrets and mystery and boredom and unwanted feelings.

So she squared her jaw and said bluntly, "Your return would have made them upset. They didn't deserve the kind of misery you put us through all over again."

If he was affected by her words, he didn't show it. Dimly, Raven couldn't believe this stony thing in front of her had been babysitting only minutes before.

Abruptly upset, Raven glared pointedly at Slade, who said nothing. "My turn. Why did you leave us alone after my father was banished?"

Slade's mouth bent down, casting a shade of the old enemy she knew and hated. "You can only try your hand at defeating a group of adolescents so many times before it gets tiresome."

Was that an insult or a compliment? Either way, Raven felt a stroke of pride for herself and the Titans.

"So you just...retired?"

Slade rose an eyebrow at her. "My dear, I'm not _that_ old."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite."

"Hmph."

They glared spitefully at one another, old wounds peeling back and raw once more.

"That picture in your room. She's your wife, isn't she?" Raven's tone was a matter-of-fact. She felt numb.

Slade said nothing, but a strange darkness, a pain, filled his good eye. Raven could taste it, slipping through cracks in his mental blockade. It was more than enough of answer.

"Are you still together?"

Slade scoffed an "_Absolutely not"_, broad shoulders lifting up, then down with his breath. But a hint of hurt tainted Slade's leaking aura, which opened another door, one Raven didn't want to enter.

The pain of heartbreak was a horrid, horrid thing. Malchior was the first, the only experience she had to reflect back on.

This time, however, the burning of everything within her ribcage seemed far worse.

_Arella, wait! Mother -_

Perhaps her poor taste in men was genetic. Sourly, Raven thought of Arella, and how her heartbreak had indirectly brought upon the apocalypse. Maybe she was more like her mother, after all.

_It's just a stupid, idiotic, ridiculous crush,_ Intelligence snapped, tone unusually biting. _Really, was there ever a future for you two?_

Somehow, Intelligence did not make the dull ache within her chest any less prominent, even though she was right. No matter how much either of them had changed - no matter how discontent Raven was with her current state, no matter how different Slade appeared to be - the facts were still the same. She was seventeen. He was _much_ older (_Maybe you've got a thing for old men, _Happy sniggered. _How old was Malchior, huh?)_. She was a Teen Titan. He was a wanted criminal. She was Raven. He was Slade.

_Really, did you think you could blow out the candles and just wish it all away?_

Raven hadn't blown out any candles on her last birthday, considering she'd adamantly refused to have her friends serenade her and Starfire had been eager to pour mustard over the cake. Now, as useless as it might have been, she deeply regretted not doing so. Hypothetically speaking, could you save birthday wishes?

Hypothetically, Raven supposed, anything could be done. Hypothetically, her feelings for Slade could be reciprocated. Hypothetically, she could begin a relationship with him. Hypothetically, the Titans would _not _lose their tempers and/or minds over said relationship. Hypothetically, she could be happy.

So she wished, deep in her heart, for a chance. Just a single, small chance at happiness, however that would come about. Raven was tired of being sad, of being unhappy. She was tired of not knowing.

_What now?_

Raven bit her lip, debating.

Then,

"Slade, I apologize if I offend you, but I think...whatever she did, whatever it was that caused you pain, whoever was at fault...I think if she saw you now, she would regret the separation. I would."

His eye widened. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I do. And don't make me say it again."

The anger she knew so well surfaced briefly in his expression, but was quick to pass. This was the softest Raven had ever seen him, and it was exhilarating.

Slade's voice was raspy, husky. "We've discussed what I want from you, Raven. But what do you want of me?"

_Your manhood, _said Passion, beaming deviously._  
><em>

Yet Raven herself didn't answer, because she didn't have one. She barely knew what she wanted from herself - how could she demand something of another?

So she said, "Good night, Slade," turned, and went back inside her room. All three children were snoring loudly under the covers, but Raven was somewhat startled to find Bobby wide awake, sitting up and staring at her.

"Go to sleep, Bobby," she ordered sternly, only poorly veiling the eerie feeling the bear was giving her.

Per usual, the bear said nothing in return, but made no move to lay back down until Raven herself went to bed.

.

Raven had one more day with the children before she had to return them to their foster home. After that, she had the prom to attend. Aqualad had told her that since they were only chaperones who 'were going on a friendly date', they needn't buy formal wear and just to go in their uniforms. However, Starfire was incredibly unhappy with this particular development.

"You must wear a dress!" the alien wailed over Raven's morning transmission, clearly heartbroken.

"No. The last time I put on a dress is when Mother-Mae Eye _forced_ me into one."

"But this is different! On my planet, to attend such mating rituals without presentable attire is punishable by death!"

_That seems extreme, _sniffed Lazy. _Aliens._

"Prom isn't a mating ritual, Starfire."

"Wouldn't say that," laughed Cyborg, hauling a stereo behind the visage of the redheaded girl.

Irritation sparkled through her nerves. "Prom is not _supposed_ to be a mating ritual."

Starfire's big green eyes were on the brink of spilling tears. "But I fear for you and Aqualad! Isn't a dress customary for Earth dates?"

"No, Star, they aren't," Robin sighed from somewhere offscreen. "Why don't you believe me?"

"They're not," agreed Raven. "And Aqualad was the one who said we just need to wear our uniforms. It's not a big deal."

Starfire blinked. "Raven, are you not enamored with our dear friend?"

Her heart beat nervously. "No, I'm not." And she wasn't. She knew that, now, even if she knew he was better for her.

Disappointment clouded the alien's face. "Oh," she said, softly.

Raven rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Jesus Mary Joseph, she hated having friends.

"Um...but if you want, you can, ah...do my makeup?"

"_Oh, thank you, thank you Raven!"_

Raven felt as though Starefire's arms had reached through the communicator and knocked every particle of oxygen from her body. "Okay, okay! Calm down."

The screen abruptly fizzled gray. Raven half-expected the transmission cut because Starfire's alien hugs against their glass widescreen had smashed it.

She shut the communicator and sighed. The hotel lobby was fairly empty this morning, save one sleepy family toting their suitcases to the car. Raven watched them for a little bit, gaze following the the two babes of the bunch.

"Done!" Timmy screamed from behind her. Raven turned, noting a polished plate from their continental breakfast.

"Inside voice, Timmy."

Melvin looked up from arranging strips of bacon into the shape of a smiley face. "Where's Mister Slade?"

Where _was_ Slade? Raven hadn't felt his energy from his room, nor was he at breakfast. She'd even checked the gym - out of curiosity, she hastily told herself, and nothing more. But he was nowhere to be found.

Raven was worried her boldness had scared him away. The thought of Slade being simply...gone, was a depressing one. As much as Raven hated it, some part of her relied on the man now, or else she'd slip back into her old self. Raven did not want to be the old Raven; she liked this new, different version of herself.

But what if the new Slade _didn't _want to be different?

_I'm sorry._

A more tender moment between Raven and Beast Boy resurfaced in her memory.

_For what? You're not the one who -_

Damn. Fool me once, shame on you.

_No. I'm sorry he broke your heart._

But fool me twice?

Raven already an experience like this with Malchior. How could she be so stupid and let it repeat again? She doubted Beast Boy would be so kind to comfort her again, _especially _under the circumstances.

_Terra._

Beast Boy had been enraged over the Terra incident. Quite frankly, Raven saw no excuse for Slade. He didn't have one. He didn't deserve one.

Was that really the same man before her today?

"I'm going to go up to the rooms," Raven said faintly. "Call me if you need anything."

"Y_ah!_" squeaked Teether, who was chewing through a plate. Raven considered stopping it, but figured the toddler would either eat that or the table, so she chose the route with the least amount of damage.

From the end of the table, Bobby's beady eyes blinked at her. He wasn't smiling.

.

_Let's get a peek into Slade's place, _urged Passion as they made their way to the rooms. _Maybe we can steal his boxers, or even better, catch him showering._

_"I just want to find him," _Raven replied, a tad desperately. Reaching his door, she tapped her knuckles against the beige surface

"Slade?"

To her surprise, the door creaked open a sliver, just like it had at his home. By habit, Raven squeezed herself through, and the door shut behind her.

"Slade, I - "

A mouth was on hers, hot and dark. Raven was so alarmed that she couldn't kiss back; he had to pull away.

"This," Slade hissed, his pupil shrinking. "I want this."

Everything below Raven's waist filled with heat. She shook her head, attempting to retain coherent thoughts.

"N-no," Raven gasped, feeling his fingers tighten against her hips. This was so sudden, _too _sudden! Hell, her _kids_ were still downstairs, eating breakfast! "Slade, I, ah, I, we...we can't -"

They were kissing again, and whatever sentence she'd been forming drifted away in a passion-filled haze as they managed to fall onto the mattress behind them. He tasted like smoke. All of Raven's body was on fire.

_Skies will burn._

"Raven," he murmured into her hair. Desperately, Raven responded by clinging to his neck and hanging on for all she was worth.

_Flesh will become stone._

She was ready. God, she was ready. Heaven knew she deserved this. For once in her miserable, now-useless existence, why shouldn't she have something she wanted?

Beside them, a lightbulb shattered in a crack of black energy. In between kisses, Raven could make out the shards of glass hovering in mid-burst. The lights hummed and buzzed, flickering periodically, throwing sparkles of the broken glass.

"Slade," she choked. "Stop, stop!"

The glass fell all at once, like a shower of frozen rain.

Slade pulled away, glowering at her.

"Raven, enough of this nonsense. You knew just as well as I that this was going to happen. No matter what we could have done, there was nothing we could do to stop it."

These were old words, spoken in an entirely different context. Dimly, Raven pondered whether or not he remembered threatening her saying almost the exact same thing.

Now, the only difference was was a 'we' instead of a 'you'. No longer did it feel like an accusation, or the mocking of a failure. They were in this together.

_The sun will set on your world, never to rise again!_

Numbly, weakly, Raven shook her head. Christ, she hated being this inarticulate. "If I - if we do this...the Titans..."

Ah, yes. Lately, the people she cared about more than anyone else seemed to be dragging her down, rather than pushing her forward. It was none of their faults - it simply was what it was.

But really, it was beginning to grow cumbersome.

_What now?_

Slade stared at her for a long, long time. Raven feared she'd made him upset. Tentatively, she unwound a hand and trailed it along his face. A few wrinkles, scars, and the hair of his beard all skimmed against the nerves within her fingers; never had she imagined such a moment of intimacy with him.

"Slade," she said, voice hushed.

At the sound of his name on her lips, Slade's good eye fell shut. "Raven."

It was her name, what she went by, but it was more than that too - it was a plea, from a man to a woman. In the most primal sense, he wanted her. Slade was begging for her, all in the span of a few short syllables.

Raven had never felt so powerful, not even when she defeated her father. Slade, the man who haunted the nightmares of her past and the dreams of her future, was at her mercy.

She waited for a perverted comment from Passion, or words of encouragement from Brave. But her emotions were silent, allowing Raven to make the choice for herself.

_Time won't wait forever._

Slowly, surely, Raven lifted her head off the pillow and kissed both of Slade's eyes, good and bad.

_You can't run away from who you are._

The anxiety, the restlessness she'd been harboring since Tokyo melted away into nothing, and while Raven still had doubts for the future, she had never felt so sure of the now.


	14. Chapter 14: The After

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Hope you like this chapter, I know it was kind of rushed. If you have any comments on the quality of the work or OOCness, let me know.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc., are greatly appreciated. Love all your reviews. Please keep writing them. One day I literally refreshed my email about every ten minutes to see if there were any more.**

_"Alright then, I'll go to hell."_

_– Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_

_Raven: ...did he forbid you from hurting me? Did he order you to keep his Gem safe?_

_- The Prophecy_

_Chapter Fourteen: The After_

_His first memory of her, as a brooding, blue-cloaked girl in the background of the Titans, a member of little importance, was blurry and brief -_

_The first time he saw her in person, a pile of burning skin as his probes tore her from the inside out -_

_"Good, Terra," he crooned, watching her grow impressively angry in the earthy sludge. She had been the hardest for his apprentice to win over, and her fury was amusing to witness. "You know her weakness. Exploit it." -_

_Surprise, as he was pulled from death and told of Raven's destiny. Why hadn't he noticed her before, paid more attention?__All this time, she had been there, within his reach -_

_He was frightening her. She was usually so blank, so dull in comparison to the other Titans. But her resistance was growing irritating, he could already feel his bone-body crumbling to dust -_

_She was so tiny under his fingers. He'd had a good laugh tormenting her, stripping her of her dignity, but the man he was, the one before this Slade, was appalled deep within him. He'd had a wife - what if a man had done this to Adeline? What if his sons had done this to a woman? Undead or not, what kind of man was he?_  
><em>Realizing he'd held her too long, and seeing Robin running to her rescue, he quickly dropped her, wishing a happy birthday -<em>

_Even at the end of the world, even at the realization of her own demise, she was still more concerned about keeping the Titans in the dark. How poetic, that she was this selfless and her father was what he was. But Slade was a selfish man, and birds of feather flocked together . And he certainly wasn't a raven -_

_He hadn't known it was possible to feel pain as a skeleton. But she was attacking him with brute force, the hate of all of Hell the driving strength behind her attacks. She was a glowing red blur as she thrashed him to the ground, declaring, "I'm not afraid of you anymore!"_  
><em>In spite of himself, he couldn't help but be the slightest bit impressed. Now, there was a person of worth, someone who didn't fear him, an equal -<em>

_She was herself, certainly, even as she walked towards her doom. He thought her an interesting girl, and regretted that he hadn't seen the potential for an apprentice sooner. But she was overstepping her boundaries, telling him he was insignificant -_

_She'd been right. How ironic -_

_A tiny, childlike shadow to mock him. Trigon was a bastard._  
><em>Even as a child, she didn't trust him. It was clear she did not remember him, but it was obvious she didn't want to get to know him, either, as she sped away in the lava underbelly of the new Earth -<em>

_Oh, revenge was sweet. The satisfaction of de-horning Trigon nearly made him laugh. Out of the corner of his eye, she was amazed. She thought him a friend -_

_She was destroying him. Her upcoming victory was obvious as Slade slithered away, darting between boulders and putting enough distance between them so the Titans couldn't find him. A white light made him look back, and all he could think of was how beautiful it was, and how powerful she was -_

_He was not in the mood for this. Wintergreen had died only a week ago. He'd been hopeful that an outing would pull him out of his depression, maybe a chance to start something different. Of course a mistake like her had to show up, demanding entry into his home -_

_She'd changed. He'd been vaguely aware of this during the End, but this was the first reminder since then. Again, he was impressed, but annoyed. He wouldn't tolerate her trying to exert power over him, nor could he attempt to do so to her. What was there left? -_

_Dimly, he remembered he needed to burn that damn picture of Addie, he didn't need it anymore. She kept asking about it, which was growing cumbersome. Addie was a painful chapter of his past, and she was constantly pestering him about it -_

_He'd forgotten how small she was as he was pinning her against his gym wall. Her face was flushed, panting, angry. Something very male in him was intrigued; disgusted, Slade dismissed the feeling just as she cast him backwards -_

_She'd barely passed her test. She'd been horrified that any woman could want him. Well, he'd been married, once -_

_Why the hell was he so angry with both women? Addie, the woman who'd ripped out his heart and eye, and the girl who destroyed the world with him?_  
><em>Once, a girl, a voice whispered to him, now, a woman.<em>  
><em>Crumpling Adeline's photo, he punched a hole in the wall, hating them both -<em>

_She was suspicious of him, again. This time, though, he was the one pinned against the wall, as she demanded what was going on. Behind her, he saw J-31 raising an arm to strike her._  
><em>An abrupt rush of panic spiked his blood, and he hastily barked, "Leave us!". Relief washed over him when J-31 lowered his stance, and she wasn't hurt -<em>

_Was she jealous of the redheaded client? She certainly seemed uncomfortable. But, as always, she asked piercing questions, this time about why he'd told the other woman his name was Joseph. Before he could stop himself, he told her the truth -_

_She was missing. The absence of their witty dialogue, however recent it had been, was bizarre. As always, he was angry. Why hadn't she called him, informed him she was to be absent? He paced for two days, cursing her name, waiting for a call -_

_He had every right to follow her. She wanted to end their arrangement. No. He wasn't about to lose the one thing in his life that interested him, however strange it may have been -_

_She was a pretty thing. She looked nothing like Addie, and perhaps that's what made her attractive. Privately, he wished she'd grow out her hair, the way it had been when she'd defeated her father. But still, a very beautiful young woman. Perhaps he wasn't as sharp as he liked to believe - never, not once, in all the time they'd known each other, had he truly appreciated her lithe figure, her curved mouth, her dark, expressive eyes -_

_It was surprising she liked children. It was even more surprising that she'd asked him for help. It was empowering, somehow, in a way he'd never felt powerful before -_

_She was just a child. She was no longer a child. God in Heaven, which was it? He was disgusted with himself for thinking of her that way, but she was so damn close, only a wall away -_

_Secretly, he knew that getting along with the children would earn her approval. Pretending to watch cartoons with the eldest child, he couldn't help but look at her legs out of the corner of his eye -_

_Her mind, his mind, once so different, now mirrored one another. They'd both been searching for change - had he found it? Was she it? -_

_He wanted her. He hadn't wanted a woman so badly since his marriage. What had happened? How could the universe have done this to him? -_

_He'd physically left the hotel, knowing she'd be able to sense him. He'd snuck in through the back, back into his room, considering slipping away, just like he was used to doing. But he heard a knocking, and pattern was familiar, it was her, it __was her -_

_What now? -_

_Now -_

Raven gasped, saw stars, saw him, then nothing more.

.

After, all she could feel was regret. It shouldn't have been like this. It shouldn't have even been. Everything tasted like metal, and once the euphoria faded, Raven wanted to die.

If she could have, Raven would have gotten herself up and hoisted the children and herself far, far away. But when she tried, a pain like she'd never felt before ripped her in two.

It was a shaky communicator call from the sheets ordering the kids back to the hotel room. Raven wasn't feeling well, and she'd be a while before she came back. Help yourself to anything from the mini fridge and watch all the TV-14 programs you want. You deserve it, really. You weren't the one who'd made the most grievous error of her life.

Slade could see Raven's pain, but made no move to comfort her. It seemed as though the affection was over, which only reaffirmed everything Raven feared. Jesus Christ, why?! Why hadn't divine intervention stopped her from making this awful, lust-driven decision?! It certainly hadn't been lax in the past. Jesus knew better than she did - He should know that her own feelings meant nothing in the scheme of things! Why, oh, why had she done this? Why had they done this?!

"Stop," said a firm voice beside her. There he was, tussled and handsome and glaring at her. "Whatever you're thinking, stop."

Rage laughed, far too amused.

"You don't understand," Raven managed hollowly. Her voice was weak, spent.

Slade glowered at her. His torso poked out from beneath the covers, defined and manly. "Do tell: how am I supposed to understand if you don't explain?"

She stared at him incredulously, nails digging into her pillow. God, it hurt. "You don't see anything wrong with what we just did?"

Slade's good eye narrowed. "I do what I want, Raven. You should know that."

Oh, and how well she did.

Tears burned the creases of her eyes, threatening to spill. But there was no way in Hell Raven would ever let him see her cry, so she turned her head away angrily.

"I'm a fool," she told the pillow.

"Is that so?" Slade's voice demanded testily behind her.

_What now?_

That was it. Raven would deal with the pain. She flung herself up, spluttering slightly at the intensity of the burn between her legs.

The bed creaked.

"Don't do that," Slade warned. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Why do you care?" Raven spat, ignoring his advice and attempting to tug on her leotard. "I saw what you thought of me, Slade. Don't bother."

The bed bounced, and footsteps walked over to Raven's side of the bed. Two legs engulfed the corner of her vision, but Raven was still trying to get her clothes back on, with no success.

"Enlighten me, my dear. What do I think of you?"

Frustrated, angry, in pain, and heartbroken, Raven threw her leotard on the ground and burst, "Do you know how confusing it's been to be near you?! I hate myself for caring about you, Slade! Everything about this was for my family, and now I've ruined it. But y-you don't..."

She hiccuped, tears rushing down her face. Well, shit.

"You wanted me. You got me. I didn't see much else. What now, Slade? What now?"

God, it felt good to say it aloud. Maybe Slade had the answer, because Raven damn well didn't.

Slade was silent. Raven was glaring at the ground, she and Timid weeping in synchronization. In the end, she'd screwed the Slade she hated, not the one she thought existed -

He crouched down, wiping away tears with a big, calloused hand. His skin was so rough, so opposing to her soft, young flesh.

What now, indeed.

Traitorously, her fingers wound themselves in the hand stroking her face.

"I'm afraid of you." she whispered. "I'm afraid of what you think about me. I'm afraid of what you'll do to me. Slade...I'm so, _so_ afraid."

The overwhelming emotions inside Raven made a few cabinet drawers fly open, but neither of them cared in the slightest.

They held each other, Raven not knowing that Slade shared every single one of her fears.

.

When they left the hotel room, Raven felt drained. She was never, _ever_ that emotional. Raven could feel the sheet of numbness pulling over her, changing her back into the dry Titan she knew herself to be.

Except now, Raven barely recognized herself in the mirror. The pain had faded enough to move, but she was different.

Raven was a real woman now, in the truest of senses. Better let the monks of Azarath know.

Still, while the experience had been intense, it had also been...pleasant. It had been nice.

_Pleasant? Nice? You insult him._ Passion stumbled drunkenly through the Nevermore, overwhelmed with her victory. _Sweet baby Jesus, Mother Mary and God our Father in Heaven, you do exist. I've seen the light, dear God, and it comes in the form of the orgasm. Thank you, oh Lord, for the male genitalia -_

Raven almost spit out the tea she'd gotten from the downstairs cafe. Melvin looked up from her cupcake with wide eyes.

"Raven, are you okay? You still look kinda sick. What did the doctor say?"

_Lacking adequate sexual experiences,_ Passion moaned. _Requesting more from that handsome devil Slade._

"It was nothing," Raven muttered, attempting to drink her beverage once more, this time without choking.

She couldn't get Passion to shut up for the life of her. All the emotions had even tied her to the new Eight-Eyes, but she'd annoyed him to the point of him cutting the binds with his blades and hiding in the maze. So as of now, all of Passion sister's were desperately trying to avoid her.

However, as Raven was the personality's host, she herself could not escape the torture.

Slade was at the fray of the group, arms crossed, watching Bobby and Teether devour bread pudding. Raven felt a little guilty about what had followed their intimacy - it was certainly not the pillow talk she ever envisioned for herself.

"Raven?"

Raven looked at Melvin and Bobby. The bear was sitting opposite his creator, frosting staining his muzzle. He grinned brightly at Raven, which was unnerving.

"What?"

Melvin swallowed a bite of her pastry. "Bobby says thank you for letting us eat from the mini-fridge."

"Gummy bears!" Timmy exclaimed in atonement, the bread pudding dangerously close to his blue blanket.

"You're, um, welcome."

Bobby lifted a blonde pigtail and whispered in Melvin's ear, his gaze focused on her the whole time.

"Bobby also says not to be scared. Everything's going to turn out a-okay."

Raven could almost hear Slade's eyebrow raise.

Raven knew better than to trust the powers of a little girl, magnified in a selectively invisible bear. Nevertheless, shehoped the Bobby was clairvoyant, considering how many other times he seemed to know what was unfolding around them.

Despite herself, Raven felt a small smile of gratitude form on her lips, a silent thanks to the bear.

Bobby grinned back, looking more pleased than Raven had ever seen him before.

.

"How much longer?" asked Melvin as they stood in line for an Italian restaurant. Slade excused himself after the afternoon cafe break, and Raven and the kids had taken a tour of the town before they decided to go out for dinner. She was happy to finally have time with her kids. Bobby, being to big, had to stay outside, much to Melvin's disdain.

Unfortunately, it was prime dinner time, and this particular restaurant was the only one in the little town. They'd been waiting in a line for over half an hour.

"Hung-wee," Teether whimpered, gnawing on a plastic toy train Raven had bought him. She hoisted the toddler up higher on her chest, and reassured him they would eat soon.

When the three reached the front of the line, a smiling, freckled girl said the wait for a party of three would be anywhere from forty minutes to an hour.

"An hour?!" Raven glanced at Melvin and Timmy, who both looked famished. Timmy already threw a tantrum once in line; if he didn't get food soon...

Well, Raven didn't want to deal with that nightmare.

"Look," Raven leaned across the check-in podium. "My kids are starving, and we've been waiting here for - "

A shadow cast over Raven's hand. She tensed, suspecting an attack of some sort, but a familiar hand draped over her own.

"Raven," Slade said, breath warm against her cheek. Feelings of all shapes an sizes crashed down on her. Of course he found her. He always did.

_Sweet mama, he's back,_ gasped Passion. _See if he'll take a trip to the bathroom with you._

"Mister Slade!" Timmy cried excitedly.

Slade threw a quick smile at the child, before assuming a curt expression for the girl behind the counter. "My dear, I suggest you find us seating."

The girl blinked. "The wait for a party of three is forty - "

"We're a party of four," Slade cut her off smoothly, measuredly. "And I suggest you find these children seating soon, my dear. They're very tired, and I'm very impatient."

Raven stiffened. What was he _thinking?_ The girl could just as easily scream for her boss.

But, of course, the girl bobbed her head up and down, an aftereffect of Slade's mental manipulation. "Yes, sir," she mumbled, "We have a table in the back. I'll drag some chairs over..."

Slade sneered out a _"Good,"_ and Timmy cheered, "Yay! Mister Slade is my hero!"

A pang of pity vibrated through Raven; at the same time, she didn't think Slade was the best role model for Timmy to latch on to. It seemed to be too late - Timmy was looking up at the man with wide, adoring eyes. The curly-haired boy had no father Raven knew of, or perhaps none to even begin with. The boy was so young, and Raven knew what it was like to grow up without a father.

Which is why she made no move to stop Timmy when he bounded over to Slade and grabbed a finger, dangling from the man like a monkey. Raven didn't think she'd need to ask Slade to adapt since he had children of his own and was probably used to such behavior. Nevertheless, she gave him a meaningful look, praying he wouldn't shake the kid off.

But, as always, Slade threw her for a loop. He reached down, picked Timmy - blanket and all - up and held the boy against his broad chest.

_God, Raven, I hope you get pregnant. _Passion was a purple puddle of lust in the Nevermore. _Any woman's ovaries would spring on the chance on producing his babies. In fact, with any luck, you may already be pregnant._

_"Why do you say that? You know I already...took care of it."_

Apparently, the hotel gift shop sold more than just playing cards. The cashier was the same woman as the night before, and she raised an eyebrow when Raven made her purchase, no doubt making some risqué conclusions. The whole thing had been too embarrassing.

Passion lifted her head indignantly. _Raven, as you already know, I have discovered our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And I believe He works in mysterious ways._

_Passion of the Christ, snidely remarked Lazy somewhere off to the side._

_Amen, my sister,_ Passion made a holier-than-thou face, then flopped back down to relive Raven's morning.

Absentmindedly, Raven noted that Passion had only become this vocal since she'd entered the arrangement with Slade.

This seemed important, somehow, but the thought slipped away once they were seated in a far corner of the restaurant.

"That was...impressive," Raven acknowledged Slade once the flustered waitress left them with a few menus. "What if she tells the manager?"

"That she was not accommodating customers? Yes, I'm sure the manager will be thrilled to hear that."

A grimace twisted her mouth. "That's not what happened -"

"And yet," Slade spread his palms, "here we are."

No doubt that if Robin were here, he'd be furious at this supposed trickery. The Boy Wonder didn't have an unjust bone in his body.

But Raven was here, and she was different. She was the daughter of darkness itself. She'd just slept with one, if not the most, dangerous man on Earth.

So to say she was feeling the slightest bit mischievous was an understatement.

"Okay."

She smiled, and Slade smiled back. She no longer felt regret. She no longer was worried that he was going to toss her away like a piece of trash. Her worries, so poignent only a few hours ago, seemed to vanish as Timmy clung eagerly to Slade's arm, trusting him.

There was something there, and both of them were aware of a change approaching them soon, one that would affect their futures, together.

_What now?_


	15. Chapter 15: The Yet

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: It's been a while since I've updated, so sorry about that. I had to move out of my house for a little bit, and it's been crazy hectic. I'm writing this author's note on my friend's computer as we speak; afterwards, I'm going to delete the browser history, because well, _ya'll know the feeling._**

**Anyway, just want to point out that this chapter is the most OOC I think Slade & Raven have been throughout the story. However, I believe I have pointed the plot in a direction that allows them to behave this way in the story at this point - in other words, I _THINK_ I've maintained authenticity. But since this is my first FF, I have no idea. Let me know what you guys think, 'kay?**

**Also, one of my short stories came out today in a YA horror anthology, just in time for Halloween. If anyone is interested in the works of a nerdy girl who spends way too much time by herself, let me know. I'll PM you the details. Do I trust you guys? Maybe. But hey, think of it this way: FF is one of my deepest, darkest, nastiest writer's secret. So to say I trust the internet with my material is big. Plus, all of this story's followers/reviewers/etc. have been absolute darlings. Love all of you.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated. Happy Halloween, everyone. My friends wanted me to be a "Spring Breaker" with them, while all I could do was sit back and envision me and Ron Perlman dressed up as Raven/Slade, trick or treating and making out. Sigh, a girl can dream.**

_"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."_

_- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights_

_Slade: She knows what she must do._

_- Birthmark_

_Chapter Fifteen: The Yet_

"Wah," sniffed Teether as Raven tucked the children in. The three babes were starting to look miserable.

"You okay?" Raven inquired, combing through her memory to remember if anything Teether had eaten could actually damage his innards.

"S-sad," Timmy whimpered to the side, thankfully too tired to make any excessive noise. "R-Raven's gonna l-leave us."

A tide of pain slammed into Raven. The kid might as well as punched her in the face.

"I have to go back home," she said sadly, reaching over and running a hand through his red curls. "My friends need me."

It was the truth. Jump City newscasts were showcasing repeated footage of H.I.V.E. attacks. The Titans were fighting valiantly, but Raven saw more than one opportunity where it would have been her turn to attack, or times where she could have cushioned a teammate's fall. Although she didn't miss fighting, and although she was discontent with her life at the Tower, Raven loved her friends; it hurt to see them get their butts kicked.

Yes, her friends needed her, even if she did not always need them.

"Can we come with you?"

Melvin's round face was hopeful.

It was physically painful for Raven to shake her head no.

"Way-way," Teether mumbled, eyes drooping. "Up, up..."

Initially, Raven reached for the toddler, but he began to snore, and she decided against it. Standing up, Raven smoothed the covers around the children, a special warmth filling her heart.

"Good night, kids," she muttered. A rustle to the side made her look; Bobby was tucked under the covers, staring blankly at her.

"Good night, Bobby."

The bear smiled lightly and shut his button eyes.

Raven flicked off the lights and slipped out the front door.

"How are they?"

Raven flinched - she'd nearly bumped into that wide expanse of a chest. Curse puberty for keeping her at the height of a middle school student.

"Fine. Asleep."

Slade folded his arms. "Timmy should be, after the amount of food he consumed."

At the mention of the little boy, Raven's stomach twitched. "You know, Timmy looks up to you."

"I am aware."

She pursed her lips. "Please...be a good one."

The shadow of a smile left Slade's mouth. "Raven..."

An awkward silence filtered between them. What were either of them supposed to say? Hell, what were they?

It was Slade who broke the quiet, clearing his throat before speaking.

"Raven, I feel as if we, perhaps, moved...too quickly."

A gust of air left Raven's body. "How could you tell?"

He gave her an exasperated look. "Do not mistake my concern for regret. You know me well enough to understand that when I want to do something, I do. However, it was obvious you were worried about the circumstances between us after..."

Raven crossed her own arms, feeling small. "It's just confusing, Slade. I've known you for years, but things are different. I'm different. And I'm afraid that...you're not. Not in the way I want you to be. The way I hope you are."

A light fixture above them flickered, twice.

"Come," Slade turned, opened his door, holding it open for her. Willingly, Raven entered, and Slade shut the door behind her.

"Sit."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "You're not going to pull out a bottle and offer me a drink, are you?"

Slade's silver eyebrows inched up his face. "Would you like me to?"

_No,_ said Passion._ I want to be coherent for the sex. Hurry up already._

"No."

Slade smirked, and for the millionth time, Raven wondered if he could read her thoughts.

He walked over and sat on the mattress; it creaked under his weight. Reluctantly following suit, Raven sat beside him, only a few inches away.

"Talk."

She glowered. "I'm not a dog, Slade."

He chuckled, and the sound was beautiful. "My dear, whatever your concerns may be, don't think we don't know one another. Don't tell me you've forgotten how we destroyed the world."

"How could I?"

"It seems this conversation is long overdue, then."

Raven blinking, mentally scrambling to make sense of the scenario unfolding before her. Then, she blurted,

"I was born in a place called Azarath."

Slade frowned. "Trigon already -"

"I'm not finished yet. I hardly know my mother, because the monks wanted me to prevent forming emotional attachments. They told me I couldn't have children. And I'm going to have to report what we did."

Phew. That was an uncomfortable weight off her chest.

Slade's expression was incredulous. "Why on Earth -"

"It's policy. Azarath is a big part of who I am, Slade. If I got married, that's where I would go. I grew up there. My mother lives there. They only want the best for me. They just want to monitor any chances of something..._bad_ happening. To me, and to anyone...else."

Slade looked positively stricken. But his expression cleared after a few moments, and he said, "Trigon always said Azarath was a thorn in his side. Forgive me, but I do understand the context, now."

If Raven were anyone else, she might have been upset. But Raven understood the strangeness of the situation, and she forgave Slade, privately. He wasn't being disrespectful - merely, he didn't fully understand the potential danger any offspring of Raven's would pose. "Slade, if I had a child, it would have a part of me. Trigon could just as easily exploit my blood through his grandchild."

This kept Slade silent. Together, they remembered the chaos of the End, and the pain it had brought them both.

"You weren't such a bad kid, yourself."

Intrigued, Raven raised an eyebrow.

"When I woke up," Slade explained, "I was furious. I'd been tricked by a demon, and the world was nothing. I didn't feel regret, only vengeance. And all of a sudden, you were there, insisting I calm down."

Raven leaned forward, eyes wide, interested. Slade's hair shimmered under a new angle of light. "Why?"

"You said I was making your head hurt. At the time, curiosity won out over anger. I knew the Titans would do anything to get you back, even if you were a shadow of your former self. And as soon as I thought that, you ran away from me."

At this revelation, Raven smirked. "I was a smart kid."

The good eye dilated. "Very funny."

She sat back, pleased with herself. "It's what I do best."

"Hmm. I think I liked it more when you were just a quiet, silly girl trying to outwit me."

"Trying?"

"We'll call it a tie."

"Fine."

They were comfortable, far more than they should have been. Raven hadn't found conversation this easy in a long, long time.

"My turn," she said, hoisting her legs into a meditative pose on the bed. "What was your wife's name?"

Slade's expression went lax, and Raven's heart went still. What would he say? Would he say anything at all?

"Her name was Adeline."

God, it looked painful for him to say it. A fear unlike any other gripped Raven so fast, so hard, she refused to address it.

"Who is Joseph?"

"Joseph is one of my sons."

Intuition brushed past Raven, fleeting and strange, with clips of curly blonde hair and strange eyes. But the moment passed, and Raven was back to the present.

One_ of his sons,_ Intelligence murmured. _How many Slade juniors are out there?_

Childishly, Raven also chose to avoid that topic, as more children meant more time spent with his ex-wife.

"Why did you and Adeline...separate?"

A dark cloud shrouded Slade's features. Raven wondered if she overstepped her boundaries, quickly amended, "If that's private, I understand. Some secrets aren't meant to be shared."

These words seemed to make Slade relax, yet he shook his head. "It's not that. Nevertheless, it is quite the story, but it does end with this."

To her mortification, Slade pointed to the leather patch covering his bad eye. So it hadn't been the result of a criminal mishap, after all. Raven could almost feel the universe's tendency for irony in the air.

"Wow, that's...terrible. I'm sorry."

Smirk. "Don't be. It's never slowed me down."

"Beast Boy used to say that you took it out yourself to seem more mysterious."

"Interesting. I'm happy to hear that I provoked such profound fear in you and your friends."

"Don't push it."

God, what were they? They'd gone from enemies to allies to business partners to equals to lovers to this. Most of these changes had been so fast - Raven was dizzy with just _how_ fast things had gone. Neither of them were ones to make rash maneuvers, yet here they were.

"Slade, I..."

Here we go, she thought miserably. "I know this is sudden, but, we have known each other for years, and maybe I'm being presumptuous, but...I think you're my answer."

Slade's shoulders straightened, and he looked intrigued. "Your answer?"

_What now?_

Shame flitted through Raven's nerves. "After Japan, things have been - different. I didn't know what it was, not at first, but I think I'm ready for something new in my life. Something that...doesn't involve the Titans."

Halfheartedly, Raven wished she had a camera to capture the surprise on Slade's face. His expressions were usually well tempered, but this was the strongest she'd ever seen it. She supposed she couldn't blame him, really. Hadn't she saved the world for her friends? Hadn't she made it clear to Slade that she valued their happiness over her own?

"Well," his tone curved and dragged out the word, and Raven sunk under the deep red wine voice once more. "That is something I did not anticipate."

Raven lowered her head, fingers curling into her thighs. "I love them. The Titans are my family. And I can't leave them."

Slade's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up his handsome face. "You mean to say that I am the answer to your dilemma, yet you won't follow what you believe will make you happy?"

Tears burned the corners of her eyes. How on Earth could water sting so much? "I owe them, Slade. I owe them everything I have. You, of all people, should know."

Raven's voice was growing softer, dangerously close to cracking. "So, the truth is...I don't know. And I hate it."

_Your optimism is quite enjoyable, Raven._

The air between them buzzed with tension.

_But you're forgetting one thing._

"Raven," Slade said sternly. "Whatever might have changed between us, there is much that has not."

"But I have."

_What now?_

She looked down. Her thighs were so pale, contrasted so sharply with the black fabric of her leotard and the blue sheen of her cloak. Grey, black, and blue - the colors of a bruise.

There was pressure under her chin, and Raven obliged the pull of Slade's fingers. He was so handsome, with the beard and the creases and the scars - all of him.

"What have you done to me?" Slade murmured, flicking his gaze to her mouth. His fingers tightened ever so slightly, and Raven's breath hitched. A fleet of her old self, the girl Slade held over a burning city, flashed through her.

But the newer, stronger Raven unfurled within. A raven of energy fluttered, grew and cawed between her organs. It was empowering; blood rushed, hot and fast, through her entire form.

_What now?_

_You've changed,_ Brave smiled. _This is you._

Raven shifted, sitting on her knees, meeting Slade's height on the bed. Slowly, she wound her arms around Slade's large neck, staring straight into him. All the uneasiness, all the bemusement, was dripping away like candlewax, hot and slippery.

_Where's the gem?_

His fingers moved, from her chin to her upper arms, rubbing. "Never," he muttered, voice gravely and deep. "Never did I imagine...you were right there."

_Not here. But, much closer than you think._

Raven smirked, boldly winding closer. She felt like the epitome of femininity. Damn, why hadn't she listened to Passion sooner?

_Yeah_, agreed Passion. _Wait, what?_

The two said nothing more, and Raven kept thinking, kept wondering what now, what now, what now, what now, what now...

.

_I hate_ _science_, sniffed Passion.

_"Why?"_

_Because it's keeping you from having babies._

_No, _I'm_ keeping her from having babies_, piped Intelligence.

_You know what I mean,_ grumbled Passion. _Quit mocking my pain._

She and Slade had been more prepared the second time around. But that didn't stop Passion from griping about lost opportunities all the way to the train station. Raven couldn't get the emotion to shut up about her uterus shriveling up and dying like an underfed animal.

However, Raven disagreed. In fact, her uterus was far from neglected nowadays.

_Stop it,_ Timid covered her ears. _You sound like Passion._

Huh. Raven supposed she did. Shame and disgust rattled her bones, and she quickly shook her head.

"Way-way," Teether said sadly, offering his binky before Raven handed him to the foster mother. Obediently, she took it - Teether gave one to her every time they parted.

This was her fourth one; this time, Raven was pleased that the foster woman would purchase a new one.

"Bye, Raven," Melvin waved with one hand, other clutching Bobby's paw. The foster mother stood with her arms folded, clearly not allowing any of the children to hold her hands.

"Bye, Melvin. Bye, Bobby."

Pudgy rolled her eyes. Unbeknownst to her, the bear waved goodbye.

Timmy, who was holding tightly to his blanket, spun firmly to Slade.

"Mister Slade," he said shakily. "I want you to have my-my blanket."

Slade crouched down, meeting the little boy's eye. "You don't have to do that, Timmy."

"I-I want to. Y-you don't carry a b-blanket. I-I wanna b-be l-like y-you."

The redhead thrust the blue square of fabric in front of him, lips trembling. Raven sucked in a breath, waiting.

_And in time, who knows?_

Slade's silver hair shimmered, and he put a large hand on Timmy's shoulder.

_I might become like a father to you._

"I'm proud of you," he said firmly. When Timmy's face lit up, Slade gently pried the blanket from the boy's fingers.

"Let's go," the foster mother said crossly. Timmy grinned up at Slade, darted to where his family was leaving with a "Byeeeeee!"

The gang of little heroes were led away. As always, Raven felt a heavy weight in her throat as her kids grew smaller and smaller in the distance. She desperately wished someone would adopt them - but who would take in three super-powered tots who weren't even siblings? Their chances were slim to none.

"Timmy is growing into a fine young man."

Slade had a thoughtful expression plastered to his face.

"Don't get any ideas," Raven warned. "Timmy's off limits for apprenticeship."

He snorted. "You insult me, my dear."

When Slade said my dear, a spark of black energy nipped between their hands - which were only a few inches apart - like static. Both started, and once they realized what had happened, Raven's face could've fried an egg.

"My, my," Slade smirked. Raven braced herself for the insult or condescending remark, and was scrambling to think of a good comeback.

But no such words left his mouth. Instead, Slade wove his large fingers into her small ones, and walked them through the train doors, which hissed shut shortly after. Neither of them spoke, because there was nothing more to say, and the train moved forward.


	16. Chapter 16: The Soon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: I feel things coming to a close. Maybe two, three more chapters? I don't know about you, but I want to give Raven and Slade their happy ending already. They deserve it, poor things.**

**So, besides Comic-Con, do you guys know any other "cons" in Southern California? My sister and I really want to go as Blackfire (me)/Starfire (her). Not to mention if I see anyone in a Deathstroke/Slade costume, they get automatic access into my pants. That sort of intelligence has earned the right to the insides of my pants.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated. I read them all. Love them all. Wish there were more everyday.**

_"Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience - or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope." _

_- Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility_

_Raven: This party is pointless._

_- Sisters_

_Chapter Sixteen: The Soon_

"Raven?"

Starfire poked her head into Raven's room.

"Hmm?"

"Your door is open. I was merely checking to see if you were gravely ill, or possessed."

A smile played on Raven's lips, and she shut her book. "Possessed?"

The alien girl nodded seriously. "Yes, friend Raven. Robin has shown me an earthly documentary about demon possession, and while I understand that Trigon is a demon himself, it does not make you immune to such a tragedy."

"A documentary?" Raven sat up. "Do you mean The Exorcist?"

Starfire bobbed her head eagerly. "Am I to tie you to the bed and sprinkle church liquids on the diseased flesh?"

_Church liquids,_ Passion sneezed. _The Lord's son did not die on the cross for aliens to call an instrument of good church liquids._

"Um," Raven lifted an awkward finger. "No. And that was a movie, Starfire. Not a documentary. Not real."

Crimson burst across the redhead's cheeks. "Oh! Well, I was unaware of that, and, um - you are looking quite well, Raven!"

Giddiness sprung in her chest. Happy was rolling in the Nevermore flower field, making pink angels.

"Thanks. I feel good."

Starfire squinted apprehensively. "Is it because of your date with our friend Aqualad tonight?"

Oh, crap. That was right. God, that date seemed so poignant not too long ago; now, it was nothing more than an obligatory event to help out a friend.

Still, that old question persisted. _What now, what now, what now?_

"Aqualad's just a friend," Raven said, thinking only of a dark eye and a crinkled smirk. "It's not a big deal."

Starfire nodded, no longer seeming so deflated at the thought of her friend without a partner. "I understand, and I am glad to hear you are doing well."

_If only she knew,_ moaned Lazy. _Raven, Slade is athletic. Next time, let him do all the work instead of getting all feminist and making him your -_

"_Blorthog!_" Starfire exclaimed, mouth popping into a little 'O'. "I must prepare the tools to make up your face!"

The alien zipped away, spewing nonsense about Earthly hair ornaments and 'the blushing'. Footsteps padded over to the open door, and Beast Boy eyed the direction their friend had gone in, shaking his head.

"Should'a let her put you in a dress, Rae. Better than letting her near you with an eyelash curler."

Smirk. "How do you know about eyelash curlers?"The green boy shrugged cooly, effortlessly. "I've spent my fair share of time with the ladies. I know what's what."

"...Right."

Raven wished Slade was here right now, chuckling at the changeling's antics. Funny how things changed.

Beast Boy put his gangly arms around his back, looking nervous. "Hey, Rae?"

"What?"

"Just so you know, whoever it is you're seeing...if they make you happy, that's all that matters."

Whoop, back it up, Passion ogled at the changeling along with her host. I didn't know B.B. was psychic.

Raven's voice came out faint. "How did you - "

"Pheromones." He tapped his nose sheepishly. "You kinda reek of 'em."

_Hello? Remember me? Beast Boy?_

All Raven could manage was a red-faced, "Oh."

Beast Boy kicked the edge of the doorframe. "It's not Aqualad, is it?"

A twinge of guilt, shame. "No."

"Figured."

Silence, heavy and awkward. Raven and Beast Boy had never been the best of friends. Now, after a rushed hello to each of her teammates after getting off the train and bidding Slade farewell (for now), they really weren't that much closer. Especially if Beast Boy had drawn the conclusions Raven feared.

_Please, please,_ she mentally pleaded with him. _Please be mature about this._

_Pfft._ Passion was dusting off her purple cloak. _We're doomed._

Beast Boy straightened his skinny shoulders. "Look, I know things have been different since Brushogun. I get it. It's super weird when things change."

Pain flashed through Raven as she pictured Terra. As much as she'd disliked the girl, it had been Beast Boy who'd been most affected by her death. And whether or not Terra had indeed been resurrected, Raven wondered if the changeling had gone through a what now phase of life as well.

"I get paid to do a commercial once a month for Japanese gum. Weird doesn't even _begin_ to describe it."

Beast Boy gave a toothy grin. "Hahaha, I forgot about that. Donkey gum."

"Don't push it."

In a stroke of seriousness, the green Titan shook his head. "That's not the point. The point is, I found something to keep me going when I was skeptical of, well, everything. So just because you found something different to make you happy, even if it's nothing we know about, it doesn't make you a bad person."

Damn. He'd really learned his lesson after Malchior. Half of Raven pondered if she was dreaming, while the other half of her hoped she was dreaming.

"You don't understand," she whispered thickly. "If you, or Robin, or anyone found out, you would hate me -"

"Then don't tell."

Beast Boy grinned his usual, stupid grin. "Ignorance is bliss. I'm not like Robin."

_Beast Boy had a brain?_

There was something very profound about Beast Boy's train of thought. Had the changeling intentionally rot his brain with video games and television, simply choosing not to acknowledge the things he saw around him?

_Hey, I have a brain! I just don't use it much._

Raven got up from her bed. Then, without pausing for a second thought, she gave him a tight hug.

After Beast Boy left, Raven shut her door. In spite of her efforts, leaving the door open was just _begging _for bizarre things to happen.

.

Starfire understood that Raven and Aqualad were just friends, and that nothing romantic was to come out of this outing. In fact, Raven made it abundantly clear that she was merely a chaperone, not even a real attendee of the prom.

However, this did not stop Starfire from begging to put Raven into a dress at the last minute. Even with the eyeliner, blush, and dark lipstick (which, Raven conceded, turned out nicer than she'd expected), the Tameranian considered her work wasted if Raven didn't 'wear the appropriate attire for such a ritual'. The boys had to physically hold her back until the Titan's doorbell rang, and Raven had to answer it herself.

There Aqualad was, damp and handsome and just a friend. His chasm-colored eyes widened slightly at Raven's made-up face.

"Wow, Raven. You look beautiful."

In spite of herself, a small part of Raven wished it was another saying those words.

"It's just some lipstick. Starfire wouldn't let me leave without it."

On cue, the rest of the Titans bounced from out of nowhere to the side of the Tower's massive doorframe.

"Hey, buddy," Beast Boy had a massive grin plastered to his face. Clearly, his moment of seriousness had long passed. "So how's it going?"

"You can use my bike," Robin offered generously, squishing the shapeshifter to the side. "Took it to the last prom I went to. Had a blast."

Cyborg followed suit and knocked the team leader out of the way. "How's Tram doin'? Oh, and doesn't Rae look good tonight?"

_Toss, crash._ "She could've looked better!" Starfire was on the verge of tears. "Oh, please, do not punish Raven for her lack of appropriate attire!"

No matter how much the Titans might have understood the circumstances between her and Aqualad, it certainly didn't stop them from harassing the latter. Raven didn't know whether to be embarrassed or to laugh. Maybe both, all things considered. When was the last time she'd truly enjoyed the company of her team?

Aqualad offered a small, genuine smile. Raven had always liked his aura - blue, calm, cooler than the Pacific Ocean. Now, it was tinged with red and orange, affection and warmth. "I think you look beautiful, Raven."

The creak of Cyborg's mechanic joints told Raven that he was holding back a breath. He was probably suppressing laughter.

"Thanks. You look good, too."

Aqualad stepped aside, revealing the lumpy back of a whale, docked at the edge of their island. "Thanks for the bike offer, Robin, but I already have us covered."

Robin's white-mask eyes bugged. "Whoa! I - ahem - ha, cool. You guys have fun."

_Think Robin likes the whale a bit too much? _asked Brave slyly. _He always seemed to like that stupid T-sub more than it deserved. That thing always broke down._

_Who knows, _said Lazy. _Robin's probably just weirded out no one wants to ride the R-cycle._

Passion shook her head. _Robin and his vehicles. While it might work for _some _women - cough, Starfire - I'm more of a black Jeep girl myself. You can bang in a Jeep. Who ever heard of banging on a motorcycle?_

_Doesn't Slade own a black Jeep? _Intelligence crossed her arms.

_Yes. And he drives it damn well too, son. Signals and everything. Obeying traffic laws turns me on like no other._

Despite herself, Raven suddenly had a delicious vision of _banging_ Slade in the back of that very sexy black car. She scrunched her nose immediately; who the hell was she? How _old _was she?! Fifteen?!

_As far as your libido is concerned, yes. _Passion smirked. _You ain't getting rid of me, sister._

"What are you thinking about?"

Aqualad's expression was intrigued as they waved goodbye to the Titans, the two of them perched on the exposed hide of a humpback whale.

Raven sighed. "How much I _really_ need to look into getting a lobotomy."

.

A _Date with Destiny _was hardly so - Raven already had a date with destiny, one that ended poorly and with a body-portal. Needless to say, she hadn't planned to call destiny back any time soon._  
><em>

But this time, destiny was simply a decorated yacht and a few streamers, instead of a tomb library and red runes. It was a good change of pace.

Eyes and a few _ah's _of admiration followed Raven and her "date" as they leapt off the whale and onto the boat. Raven didn't meet the gazes of the gawking teens - they were her peers, but at the same time, they weren't. Timid whimpered within her, sparking a social anxiety that was all too familiar.

_Slade._

Raven took a breath. His visage calmed her. She had this.

Girls in pink dresses and boys with slicked hair roved around them. She and Aqualad took residence at a corner by the teachers. They were repeatedly thanked for their 'civil service', and Raven was already starting to feel her cheeks hurt from all the fake smiles.

" - and a sponsor for the PTA, Lana Armada - "

God, how many of these people were there? Raven wasn't even smiling anymore. She glanced at Aqualad, who seemed unbothered under the strings of lights draping the tips of the yacht.

" - and a Mr. Wilson, a well-respected philanthropist and donor from - "

Her head spun back around. There he was, suit and tie, eyepatch and all, smirking.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss...Raven?"

Her hand was limp in his. Please, dear Jesus Christ Almighty, may she not be sweating as much as it felt like.

"Mr. _Wilson._"

Slade smirked, silver beard flashing. "Miss Raven, would you mind speaking privately with me? I have a few matters I would like to share on a more, ah, _personal _level with the Titans."

_Mark my words, _whispered Passion vengefully. _I will be the mother of your children. No amount of birth control and Plan B will stop me -_

Aqualad blinked, then shrugged. "Um, Raven?"

_What now?_

Raven could only nod eagerly. "I'll be back," she shot to him distractedly, hooking her arm in Slade's offered one. The pair zipped away to a fairly reclusive part of the yacht, somewhere towards the back. Other than a sleepy-looking police officer and a small gathering of girls, the back deck was empty. Strains of music from the front could be heard, thin yet magical.

"I think you're a bit too old for prom," Raven said once they'd found a corner far enough away from the giggling girls. "How did you get past security?"

Slade snorted. "My dear, you insult my abilities. And had it _not _been that I happened to be a respected member of Jump City's political class, I doubt security would have been much of an issue."

Both glanced at the guard, who was now playing some sort of game on his phone; chiming noises echoed from the screen every few seconds.

Raven tucked a lock of hair behind her face. She was beginning to regret not accepting Starfire's makeover, dress included. "How did you find me? We didn't talk during the train ride back."

"As I've said before, Jump City really needs to keep it's hero-honoring under wraps. They practically announced the Titan's chaperoning of a local high school event from every billboard in the urban area."

Raven flushed. Perhaps she ought to visit the mainland more often, so mistakes like _that_ would never happen again.

Slade's good eye roved up and down her slowly, carefully. A chill rushed up her spine, cool and fresh and wonderful.

"You look ravishing, as always," he appraised, putting a thumb to his chin, "But there's something missing."

Exasperation rolled within Raven. "I'm _not_ here for the prom. I'm here - "

Her tiny hand was in his big ones. A large white rose, complete with a few emerald-green ribbons, was being fastened to Raven's thin wrist.

"Your _date_ is pathetic," Slade sneered quietly, dark even as he adjusted the corsage. "At least learn the _proper _etiquette for promenade."

All the emotions were quiet at this touching, completely un-Slade gesture. There was then a dramatic _thud _in the Nevermore as Passion's body slumped to the ground.

Raven touched the fragile, paper-like petals of the rose. It was creamy and slightly crushed to one side, but she liked it - the ruined petal reminded Raven of Slade's two halves. One good eye and one bad eye. The villain and the lover. Slade and _her_ Slade.

"Thank you," Raven murmured, brushing her fingers along the arrangement. "I've never...I've never gotten one before."

"A corsage?"

_Sweet Raven._

"A flower. A real one."

Raven thought of Malchior's poor paper imitation, and how thrilled she'd been at the time to receive it. No, this was _much _better.

Slade cocked his head. "Well, there's a first for everything."

In spite of herself, Raven managed a small smirk. "You were my first for a _lot _of things."

"I'm honored to continue the tradition."

The faint melody of a popular song drifted into their silence. It wasn't a slow song, but it wasn't fast either. It was just right.

_What now?_

"Is this the part where you ask me to dance?"

Slade smiled - real, beautiful, and natural. "I suppose, if I must."

"This is all so...sudden. And dancing is pointless."

"My dear, you and I have broken quite a few boundaries within the past month. I believe one more couldn't hurt."

"Wanna bet?"

But they did dance, long after the song ended, and Raven could feel her answer drawing closer, closer.


	17. Chapter 17: The Forever

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: I know this chapter is short, but I feel like it wraps things up perfectly. Plus, I want it to be separate from the epilogue, so IMO this works out just fine.**

**I also wrote an alternate ending where Raven _does_ tell the Titans _ . You'll know once you've read the chapter. I just didn't think it fit as well as this one, so I decided not to go with it.**

**If you guys want the alternate ending, post your vote in the reviews and if I get five 'yes' votes, I'll post it after the epilogue as an extra chapter.**

**It's almost the end. This has been my first FF, and this community has been the best. Please, I urge you to share/talk/etc. about this story - the whole reason why I wrote it is because I just couldn't find enough FF's of this pairing. There might be others out there who feel the same.**

**Reviews, sharing, etc. are always appreciated.**

_"And the rest is rust and stardust."_

_- Vladamir Nabokov, Lolita_

_Slade: Give me the girl._

_Robin: No way._

_Slade: You don't really have a choice in the matter. I'm taking her._

_- The End, Part I_

_Chapter Seventeen: The Forever_

"It's time."

He'd said those words once, not too long ago. Amazing what context did for the two of them.

Raven knew. Deep down, hadn't she always known? Leaving the Titans had been her last option, one she never wanted to entertain. But Raven and Slade did not exist in a world with the Titans. Hell, they'd destroyed the world together while she was a Titan.

Now, it was time for something else.

_What now?_

Raven knew she owed her team. She owed them everything. And should they ever seek to collect on their debt, Raven would offer her services gladly. They'd been fighting for justice and the last slice of pizza for years; it was the least she could do.

_Titans, go!_

But Raven herself had known all along that this part of her fate had been completed. The End truly had been that: the end. The end of her as a Titan - she simply hadn't known it at the time.

_What now?_

The End had been both the literal and figurative end for Slade as well. He'd emerged with new power, new hate, new goals.

But in the end, flesh and blood and justice were his destiny. For Raven, triumph and freedom and life was hers.  
>Wasn't it poetic that the two characters who'd burned the Earth, were the two that brought it back? Had not been for Slade, Robin would have never found her. Had it not been for Raven, Slade would not have had a reason to fight for the world.<p>

Their chapter of pain and fear and hurt was over. Sadly enough, it meant the Titans were enclosed in that chapter, their passages written and finished. They had been a good chapter, a long one, but Raven was ready to move on in her story.

_This is your story, Raven. And I'm not sure what happens next._

Pity it wasn't the clean-cut ending she was hoping for, one that involved both her family and her future.

_But I believe when the time is right, you will know what to do._

Raven had never been one for happy endings. They weren't realistic. She supposed her story with the team would end on a similar note.

_What now?_

"Aqualad."

The Atlantian looked up from a plate of wet, leafy greens. "Hey, Raven, you're back! Who was that guy?"

"I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Aqualad blinked. Concern overtook his expression, and he stood up from their table. "Are you all right? What's the matter?"

Raven shook her head. "It's nothing you did, or the party. I just have to...go."

Still, the boy's face was perplexed. "Ah, Raven, don't go. They'll play another slow song pretty soon, and I thought maybe we could -"

"No, Aqualad." She felt sorry for leading him on, but it was better to nip his interests before it spiraled out of proportion.

"You're a great friend, really. But I'm in love with someone else."

Aqualad's gaze flicked to Slade, who was standing behind her. Raven could almost see the gears whirling.

"Oh, um, okay. I - I'm glad you're happy."

Again, his gaze roved to the much older man behind her, but it held none of the judgement she'd feared. Perhaps he thought Slade merely an acquaintance, and that Raven was talking about someone else.

Or: Aqualad was truly the kindest soul in the sea.

"Thank you," she murmured, and put her hand on his shoulder - a gesture she'd learned from Robin. Raven wondered if it was as comforting to Aqualad as it had been for her.

Aqualad smiled, took her hand off and kissed it gently. "Goodbye, Raven."

It would be the last time they saw one another.

.

Raven walked in on the usual Titan evening routine - Starfire feeding Silkie, Robin doing some detective work on the main computer, and Cyborg and Beast Boy cheering on the contestants of a televised wrestling match. Normally, Raven would be at the edge of the sofa with a good book, ordering the boys to turn down the volume.

Now, she could see how well they fit together, even without her.

"Hey, guys."

All eyes turned towards her.

"Raven?" Cyborg said confusedly. "I thought your prom thing didn't end 'till later."

Robin swiveled around in the computer chair. "Is everything okay?"

Ah, Robin. Always concerned about the happiness of his teammates. It was touching, really.

"I'm fine. But there's something I have to tell you guys."

The TV shut off, with just a short "Hey!" of protest from Beast Boy.

Starfire floated over from the kitchen. "Is the Trigon coming back?"

"No. But I'm not."

Alarm splayed across each Titan's face.

"What?!"

"Raven!"

"No!"

Tears burned the rims of her eyes, but Raven forced them to recede. "It's nothing you guys did wrong. It's something I have to do for myself."

Robin was already up and walking. "Raven, what's going on? Why do you have to go?"

But Raven kept shaking her head. "I've been asking myself the same question for months, Robin. I've finally found my answer. I've decided how my story's going to end."

_It's the end of the world. Did you think it would be easy?_

"I love you all. And I'm sorry. If you ever need me...I'll find a way to help. Goodbye. And...be safe."

_Goodbye. Be safe._

"Raven - "

But she was gone, in a crack of black energy. Had the Titans bothered to look at their monitor, instead of racing out the front door in search of their friend, they would have seen a man with an eyepatch on the roof of their home, waiting. They would have seen a black raven emerge from the ground up, embracing the man once she'd materialized. They would have seen tears. They would have seen a kiss.

.

_What now?_

Even when she was done crying, Slade kept her to his chest, afraid to let her go. Raven would never know that, in the few moments she'd spent saying goodbye, Slade had feared Raven would cave and go back to her friends. To see her here, miserable, was terrible, but it was also a relief. Slade never claimed to be anything other than a villain, even if he truly wasn't. Old habits die hard, and he was a particularly selfish man.

Still, he loved the girl in his arms, in a way like nothing he'd felt before. One might say their courtship was sudden, but hadn't they known each other for years? Besides, destroying the world had been a bonding experience - neither of them had simply known it at the time.

"I'll miss them," Raven whispered against his chest, rubbing away stray moisture. She could only tolerate her own weakness for so long.

His arms tightened around her. "I know."

"But I love you."

"I share your sentiments."

"Say it, Slade."

"I love you, Raven."

Even in their most intimate moments, she was still Raven and he was still Slade. After all, they could only change so much.

_What now?_

Raven's fists tightened against his shirt, stretching the fabric.

First, Azarath. Raven would take Slade there, introduce him to Arella and tell her of their relationship. No doubt her mother would disapprove, but Raven knew she wouldn't put up much of a fuss. The pacifism of their people had done much for her mother's former impulsiveness.

Second, get her kids. Melvin, Timmy, Teether and Bobby needed a stable environment - one that didn't involve foster homes and disgruntled adults, struggling to understand the children's powers. No, Raven had always known the kids were _hers._ Now, they would be Slade's too.

_Crap,_ squeaked Passion. _Is a domestic life really in our future? You know I won't survive there, Raven. Passion dies out in the suburbs._

Raven smiled. This was the first time Passion expressed fear; quite frankly, she'd grown to care for the little emotion, and didn't want her to suffer.

_"You won't die, Passion. What I feel for him is...something else. Thank you for making me see that. I won't ever let you go."_

The purple-cloaked personality blinked. _Well, then, Rae-Rae, get ready for some role-play in your near future. Picket-fence life gets so boring, you're gonna need some BDSM to spice things up. I was thinking of a 'pizza delivery girl and sexy hungry man who forgot his wallet, oh, however will he pay?' kind of thing. What do you think?_

Raven had a brief vision of herself in a Domino's uniform, tying Slade down to a bed and saying _"This is for the extra toppings."_

_"Sounds fine to me."_

Passion grabbed Happy's hands, and together the two danced in the pink flower field of the Nevermore.

"What now?"

Raven looked up, startled. Slade was looking out at the glassy black sea, expression pensive. Had he been just as torn over that question as she had been? Did this really mean what she thought it did?

Putting her hands at the side of his cut jaw, Raven reached up and kissed him, deeply.

Ironic how the answer had been there all along.


	18. Chapter 18: The Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.**

**a/n: This is it, you guys. I'm happy and sad at the same time that this fic is over, just like any other story I've written. I want to thank you all for the amazing support for this story; really, if I hadn't gotten so much feedback, this FF would have ended at chapter four.**

**Again, if you want the alternate ending, please say so in the reviews. I need two more yeses before I feel comfortable enough to post it.**

**And a side note: while this is not a funny chapter, I believe Beast Boy has the capability to be serious when he needs to be. If it's not the little green Titan you're usually used to reading, so sorry! But IMO, I do think this chapter fits his character.**

**Once again, thank you so much. While I don't think I'll be writing a sequel to this fic, I will write more Slade/Raven pieces in the future. Keep checking for more.**

**As always, reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly, _greatly_ appreciated.**

_"Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,  
>That I shall say good night till it be 'morrow."<em>

_- Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet_

_Robin: I know what we saw, but I still can't believe it! It just doesn't feel like Raven is really gone..._

_Slade: That's because she isn't._

_- The End, Part II_

_Chapter Eighteen: The Epilogue_

It's here we move to Beast Boy, because he seems to have a knack for inopportune moments. The shapeshifter wasn't the brightest of the Titans, nor was he the most powerful, yet trouble always seemed to find him in the oddest ways.

_Especially_ when it had to do with women.

Now, Beast Boy was not particularly suave with the opposite sex, nor did he possess the wordless charm to woo them, either. He had green skin, for crying out loud, and Robin _did_ have a motorcycle. The changeling learned fairly quickly that having a moped was not quite the same as that sleek, smug R-Cycle. What a shame.

Terra, the only girl Beast Boy ever felt close to, was only a shadow of the Titan he'd fallen for - not to mention, their story hadn't ended on the most pleasant of notes. Stone and betrayal did little for _any_ relationship.

It had taken a pile of fallen debris for him to admit his own stupidity to Starfire. Every once in a while, Cyborg would remember the incident, and spend the rest of the day calling Beast Boy a _clorbag varblernelk._

And Raven? _Forget about it._

Sure, they'd had their moments. But occasionally, some rabid fan would approach the Titans and insist she and Beast Boy were oh _so perfect for each other, ohmygodpleasemakeoutughihavesomanyfeelingsrightnow - _to which the shapeshifter would nearly choke with laughter and Raven would nearly choke on her own vomit. Please. If alternate realities _did_ exist (despite all the comics he read, Beast Boy still wasn't sure about that one; evil robot doubles, however, was a different story), the one where he and Raven were paired up must also be filled with flying pigs. And Beast Boy knew every animal out there; guess what? Flying pigs didn't exist.

Still, Beast Boy missed her. Of course he did. Raven had been part of their family. Just because they didn't get along all the time, didn't mean they didn't care for one another.

After Raven had left, the Titans spent weeks looking for her. Robin interrogated nearly everyone in Jump City, including the attendees of the prom. Aqualad and a few girls claimed she'd spoken a bit with an older man, who had something very defining about him, but they couldn't remember what. _Hey, I was plastered that night. Sorry. By the way, your bike is totally rad. Mind if I try it out with you sometime?_

For a while, Robin blamed Aqualad. Why couldn't he remember more about the stranger? Why hadn't he been paying more attention to Raven? Had he broke her heart? It had taken almost a month before the two were on speaking terms again, making it extremely awkward for both the Titans and the Titans East.

After that, Robin blamed the team. Which one of them had done something to make Raven feel unwanted, unwelcome? You know how fragile she is! Raven is...complicated. There is 'much about her we are not meant to understand', remember?

It was the worst when Robin blamed himself. He stopped eating, never left his room, and barely spoke with any of the Titans. Beast Boy knew that The End had bonded his leader and Raven in a way none of them could ever understand, and that her sudden decision to leave could only mean one thing: Robin had failed as a leader. He'd failed to recognize something was wrong with his teammate, failed to make her feel included, failed, failed, failed.

Robin had never dealt with failure well.

Starfire cried every night for three weeks. Cyborg wrecked the T-car in a supposed 'accident', even though the large hole in the middle of the vehicle's hood looked more like the mark of a fist instead of a supposed rockslide.

And Beast Boy?

When the others were too miserable to carry on, he continued looking. He spent the nights as a bloodhound, sniffing the streets for any trace of her.

To the Titan's dismay, Raven had completely vanished. The last time she'd left them, they'd all been given pieces of her powers, tools to find her.

Now, it was clear Raven did not want to be found.

As time went on, the pain lessened, ever so slightly. Crimes kept happening, and the Titans continued fighting. They'd never stop 'till the job gets done.

Beast Boy was waiting for the day when he'd be reassured that, whatever had happened to their friend, that she was doing better than they were. Most of the time, he was afraid that day would never come.

.

Stopping the cart, Beast Boy took a grim look around the meat department and shuddered. Why did everyone else on his team eat meat? Couldn't they make someone come _with _him to Ralph's so he didn't have to touch the carcasses of his fellow animals? But _nooo,_ Robin and Cyborg had combat practice and Starfire was visiting Tamaran. So it was Beast Boy's job to get the groceries.

_Including _meat_._

"I'm sorry, buddy," Beast Boy told a package of diced beef glumly, gingerly picking it up and plopping it into the shopping cart. "This must be so hard for you. I promise, I won't take a bite."

It was then Beast Boy felt something familiar. He didn't _hear_ something familiar, nor did he _see_ something familiar - he _felt_ something familiar. One could call it animal instinct. Another would call it fate. Starfire would call it _just plain freaky._

Whatever it was, it compelled our green friend to maneuver his shopping cart in the direction of the feeling. All the hairs were standing up on the back of his neck, and Beast Boy was too unnerved to be excited by the situation. Usually, he'd be all too delighted to report any incident that took place without the Titans; now, it felt much, much different.

He heard her laughter first. This jarred the changeling, and he quickly ducked behind a rack of wine, waiting.

A toddler with a tuffet of blonde hair waddled out of the cereal isle, seeming to take pleasure in gnawing at the corner of a box of Lucky Charms. Shortly after, a redheaded boy followed the babe, sucking on his thumb and admiring a display of tortillas.

"Timmy, Teether!"

A man's deep and vaguely familiar voice made the children turn their heads. The toddler lifted his arms, cooing, "Up, _up!_"

And there she was, scooping up the baby and laughing. The blonde baby threw his arms around her lithe neck, squealing, "_Mama, mama, mama."_

Raven's hair was longer, stretching to her collarbone. She was wearing dark jeans and a black blouse, complete with traces of makeup on her pale face. She was smiling, nuzzling the little blonde child with an affection Beast Boy had never imagined Raven _ever_ expressing, let alone to a baby that was calling her it's mother.

Wait. _Mama?!_ She'd only been gone six months, no where near the time needed to produce a child. And unless Raven had been pregnant during her time with the Titans and voodooed a way to hide it, there was no way she'd be able to give birth to a toddler.

The end of a shopping cart wheeled around the corner, causing both mother and child to look up. The redheaded boy smiled widely at a broad-shouldered, much older man, who was leaning over the cart.

"We have to get going soon," he said to her, "Melvin's theatre practice ends at 3:00."

Raven nodded, hoisting the blonde baby up her shoulder. Something large and white sparkled on her finger, nearly blinding Beast Boy's vision.

There was something off about the man, something far too familiar. Had this been the stranger Aqualad had seen her with at the prom? If only he'd turn around...

Raven plopped the baby into the front seat of the shopping cart, went on her tiptoes, and kissed the mystery man on the mouth.

The shapeshifter squinted, rubbed his eyelids, then looked again. Yup. Still kissing.

It was about now Beast Boy was planning to spring the little group and demand answers.

Abruptly, Raven broke the kiss and swung her head, looking the changeling dead in the eye. They stared at one another, tension buzzing through the air. The man followed her gaze, realized what was happening, and ushered the redheaded boy away. Strangely enough, he ducked his head, letting silver hair fall over half of his face, and proceeded to glare at the ground.

But Beast Boy hardly cared about the man at this point. Now, it was just him and Raven, and a thousand questions.

_Why did you leave? Who is that guy? What's going on? Will you ever come back?_

This new Raven, the one Beast Boy didn't recognize, smiled sadly at him.

He blinked, and the group was gone. Disappeared. Vanished. Just like she did the first time.

Now, part of Beast Boy wanted to scour every inch of the store, call security, call the Titans. _I just saw Raven! Quick, maybe we can catch her!_

Yet there was something about the way she laughed with the children, something about the way she'd embraced the man, that made him stop.

Raven was happy. She was happier than he'd ever seen her.

What kind of friend - hell, what kind of _Titan_ - would Beast Boy be if he took that away from her?

So he got up from his hiding place, dusted off his skinny legs, and began to push the cart towards the cereal isle. On the way, he tossed the package of meat on the tortilla rack, not caring if it spoiled. Now, he was a new Beast Boy, with a new team and a new perspective on one of his best friends.

And anyways, the Titans might like his tofu eggs, if that was all there was to eat.

.

_The end._


	19. Chapter 17: The Forever (Alternate)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.**

**a/n: Well, you guys wanted it, so here it is: the alternate ending. Personally, I don't think this version wraps things up as nicely at the real one, but it's a different take on how things might have gone down. It's also not as happy and clean-cut, so please excuse any bad pacing or OOCness the characters take on.**

**Just as a side note, the chapter begins somewhere in the middle of The Forever, right when Raven's telling the Titans she must leave.**

**Thank you all so much for your support. Here's my measly gift to you.**

_Chapter 17: The Forever (Alternate Version)_

Starfire floated over from the kitchen. "Is the Trigon coming back?"

"No. But I'm not."

Alarm splayed across each Titan's face.

"What?!"

"Raven!"

"No!"

Tears burned the rims of her eyes, but Raven forced them to recede. "It's nothing you guys did wrong. It's something I have to do for myself."

Robin was already up and walking. "Raven, what's going on? Why do you have to go?"

"Because of me."

Raven shut her eyes. Damn it. She'd told him to stay outside.

Shock struck each and every one of the Titan's expressions. "Who are _you?_" asked Starfire.

Raven could _feel_ Slade smile behind her. "An old friend."

It clicked for Robin first. With a cry of anger, he began to charge.

"_No!_"

A wall of black energy cut off Robin's path. His visage was rimmed with white behind the boundary of her powers.

Raven was desperate. "Just hear me out, Robin."

"_Slade?!_" he yelled. "You've been working for _Slade?!"_

"Settle down, Robin," Slade ordered darkly. "And listen to your friend."

"_I don't take orders from you!_"

"I'm not working for Slade!" cried Raven, wincing as Robin punched the barrier. "I'm...in love with him."

Raven didn't think the Titan's could have been more surprised. She was wrong.

"Say _what?!_" Cyborg's red eye was popping out of his head.

"Zombie Raven!" Beast Boy shrieked, pulling out tuffets of green hair. "Raven's being mind-controlled!"

Slade snorted at the changeling. "Interesting theory, Beast Boy. But have you ever considered that Raven may just love me of her own free will?"

"But - but you're so _old! Why _are you so old?!"

"No!" Starfire's gaze was burning green. _Righteous fury. _"Raven would _never_ do such a thing!"

_You will not dishonor our friend with your trickery!_

Raven's heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. "No, Starfire. I love him, of my own free will."

Her friends looked as if she'd lost her mind.

_Slam. Slam. _Robin was punching the force field again. "I - don't - believe - you!"

"Robin!" she exclaimed sternly. "Stop!"

To Raven's surprise, he did, huffing and puffing and glaring through the black wall.

She took a deep breath. "You guys are my family, and I care about you more than anything else. But...I'm not happy here. And Slade hasn't bothered us in a long time."

"That doesn't excuse his past crimes," Cyborg growled, stepping in for Robin. Hadn't she said something very similar, not too long ago? Jesus, how things changed.

Raven put her hands up in a calming gesture. "I know, I know. But he's changed, and so have I. I promise, I'm not his apprentice, or anything like that. That's why I came here. I wanted to let you know we're going to Azarath."

"For what?" Beast Boy stepped around the couch, serious face back on.

Raven and Slade shared a look. "We're...going to get married."

Robin looked like he was going to choke. Starfire's face lit up, then died down again.

"Personally, _I_ did not wish to come here," Slade said dryly. "But Raven insisted on saying farewell to you all. Be grateful she did not listen to me."

Cyborg was shaking his head. "Rae..."

Raven bit her lip. The tears were falling now, unbidden yet refusing to vanish. "I love all of you. But look at us - I can't have both of you. And I've been here for years. Now, I have to try something...different."

Robin hollered something unintelligible, took out his bo staff, and proceeded to whack the barrier.

_Damn, son,_ whistled Brave.

Rage smiled wickedly. _I always liked him._

God, why couldn't she stop crying?! Angrily, Raven wiped the traitorous moisture away. "I'm sorry. I'll always remember you."

"_Raven!_" Starfire was firing a stream of starbolts at the barrier. The black wall flickered slightly, caving under Raven's emotions.

Summoning all her strength, Raven screamed, "_Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos!_"

The barrier broke into four streams of black lightning, striking each Titan square in the chest. She flinched at the sound of her best friends dropping to the ground like dead insects, temporarily stunned.

Slade walked beside her, observing the Titans with mild amusement. "You know," he drawled, "That's the second time you've done that in front of me."

Raven gave him a sharp look. "Having fun?"

It was Slade's turn to glower. He clasped his hands behind his back and leaned forward, meeting her gaze. "My dear, if you believe your pain brings me any sort of enjoyment, then you and I have _much_ to work on."

Raven blinked, huffed, and felt nothing but love for the man before her.

_What now?_

"Let's go."

She took one last, long look at her family. No matter what they thought of her now, she would always care for them.

_Goodbye. Be safe._

This time, she said it to herself, privately, and led Slade to her room, where they would open the portal to her birthplace.

.

Azarath was always a quiet place; for starters, it was filled with monks and people who lived under the principles of pacifism. Secondly, the entire location was considered a holy place, which left little room for any sort of tomfoolery.

Now, it was no different. However, Raven was pleased to see it was no longer in flames.

"Did you know Trigon burned everything here, right before the End?" Raven glanced at Slade, who was surveying the golden buildings and the occasional white-cloaked being who passed by. "Were you there for it?"

_Azarath. My last hope._

"No," answered Slade simply, eyeing a bridge above their heads. "Trigon mentioned it, but it was before my resurrection. I had no part in Azarath's destruction."

Secretly, this was an incredible relief to Raven. She could forgive him for a lot of terrible things, but the ruin of her former home would be one Raven would always have a hard time with. It was good to know he had no hand in _that_ part of their past.

_He had his hands on a lot of _other_ things, _snickered Passion, elbowing Intelligence slyly. Intelligence scoffed and turned away from her deviant sister, who was too busy laughing at her own joke than to care about Intelligence's dismay.

Arella's home was towards the heart of the city, one of the residencies closer to the temple. A dove fluttered by Raven's ear, and she knew Arella was aware of their arrival.

Raven turned to Slade. She was nervous, and irrationally so at that. Could it just be that she was afraid that Arella wouldn't approve of Slade, not in a 'for the greater good' way, but in more of a mother-daughter way?

No. That couldn't be it. It just wasn't _Raven._

Still, Raven began to wring her hands when she began to speak. "Look. My mother is a pessimist. I'm completely certain she won't approve of us."

Slade rolled his good eye. "As if anyone did."

__Touché_, you sexy bastard. _Passion made a gun with her hand and fired it in his direction, making a _who__osh_ sound as she did so.

"It's not that. Arella is an important member of Azarath. If she disagrees with us, we can't get married here."

Slade's face softened, ever so slightly. "Is it really so important to you?"

Suddenly, Raven felt very small.

"Yes." she muttered, flushing.

Slade studied his lover with a meaningful expression. Then -

"Raven, if this is a condition to our engagement, I will do everything in my power to fulfill it."

"It's not - "

And then they were kissing and Raven was horribly ashamed and horribly thrilled at the same time and she could hear doves chirping around them and the sun was so warm on her back and the wind was blowing her cape up and she loved him, she loved him, she loved him...

.

"Arella?"

Arella looked up from the dove in her hand, which was cooing contently. Even after all she'd been through, the woman was still beautiful, still young. Members of Azarath were generally celibate, but in kinder moments between the two, Raven wished Arella would find someone to treat her better than her husband did. Demons didn't do well in marriage, after all.

"Raven."

Arella offered a small smile to her daughter, but it faded quickly when her eyes roved to Slade.

"Mother - "

The wife of Trigon held up a hand. "I know, my child. There is no need to explain."

Raven shut her mouth, bidding the frustration she felt to yield. Arella's holier-than-thou attitude was difficult for Raven to deal with, most likely because Raven _herself _behaved similarly. Still, it didn't make the dynamics of their relationship any easier.

Slade took this as his cue to step forward. "Arella, is it?"

Raven's mother raised a angular eyebrow at him. The dove flew out of her grasp, perhaps sensing a change in her mood.

"My name is Slade Wilson. And I'm in love with your daughter."

"Are you?"

There was no sympathy in Arella's tone. But Slade was not one to be hindered.

"Yes, I am." He cocked his head. "I understand this is very sudden. I am a parent myself - if my child came home one day with a stranger, I would be skeptical, too. But I assure you, my devotion to Raven is absolute."

_Raven, if we weren't in front of your mother, _gasped Passion, _I would make you rip down Slade's pants right here, right now, and show him _your _devotion to his -_

"Raven is but a child." Arella's expression was cool, but her words cut with a firmness Raven had never heard before. "And it is clear you are much...older."

"Mother!"

Damn. Raven was torn between wanting to throw herself off the apartment roof or slinking quietly into the shadows. Never, _never in a million years _would she have believed _Arella_ would embarrass her _in front of her fiancée. _Trigon must be feeling a little chilly today, because Hell must certainly be experiencing some kind of snow day. Grimly, Raven hoped her father was enjoying this, considering _she_ certainly wasn't.

"Arella," Slade said in that velvet-smooth voice, "If the only objection you have to our engagement is our age difference, then is it really so terrible?"

"Did you help my husband fulfill the prophecy of Raven's birth?"

"Yes," Raven answered quickly for him. "But things are different now, mother. You of all people know things can change. Mother, I...I love him."

Arella gazed long and hard at her daughter. She sighed.

"Raven, I do not condone this decision. You understand the danger of any intimate relationship you may have."

__You forever had the love of your people, Raven, even knowing what would come and what that would bring.__

Perhaps, at one point and time, Raven would have wholeheartedly agreed with her mother.

Now, it was different.

Raven stepped forward and took her mother's hands. Arella looked down at their intertwined grasp, expression blank, yet letting the longing she wasn't supposed to feel bleed through her emotional buffer.

"Mother," she began. "I do understand the danger of loving him. I know you're thinking of the greater good. But..."

Inadvertently, she glanced back at the man she loved. Slade smiled, a real, warm smile; it gave her all the answers she needed.

"I love him. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

At first, Arella said nothing. A dove or two made clucking noises behind them.

_What now?_

"If that is what you truly believe is right, my daughter, then so be it."

Kindness was filling Angela Roth's eyes, a kindness from one woman to another. Raven embraced her mother, clinging tight.

"Thank you."

Arella lightly patted her daughter on the back, told them to follow her inside, and disappeared in a flock of flying doves.

Joy lit everything in Raven's vision. She very nearly bounced back to Slade; Happy encouraged Raven to throw her arms around him.

"I love you," she told him, honestly.

His body shook with laughter beneath her, and pressure crossed her spine as Slade returned the hug. "What now, my dear?"

_What now?_

Raven looked up at his craggy, worn, handsome face.

Her answer - the one she'd been searching for all along - was not verbal.


	20. Update: Sequel

**Update: I am writing a sequel to this story, called ****_The Next. _****Super excited for what's to come, hopefully you guys will like it too!**

**First chapter's already up. Check it out.**


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